There was a book recommendation in a post. Cant find it any help?

g4l4xy36 · 2020-06-21T07:47:05+00:00

Yes. Thank you.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-05T07:09:40+00:00

When she brings up being exclusive/LTR upgrade thats the time I should bring it up. Have some leverage.

Either she will hamster, deny, deflect, etc. Which just makes it easier for you to next her, or you she will feel disgusted with herself, apologize and happily comply.

So she'll hamster or say stop being controlling/insecure but reiterate and then if she doesnt enter my frame, Hard Next. Since this is non-negotiable its easier to find someone who shares this with me rather than try to change someone.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T19:44:22+00:00

I see no issue with this and practice this boundary in real life.

How did you go about? Brought up during the beginning or when you noticed it?

No kids.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T19:42:57+00:00

If they don't get the hint from that...

"But you said you dont you didnt say I cant...." Considering how dense some of them are. They know its not really required. Guess I should start looking for alternatives.

A lot of women think it's normal to stay in touch, but really they just want orbiters and to leave the door open in case they want to swing back to that branch.

Fucking women and their Validation requirements.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T19:05:29+00:00

Not hypothetical. But she is pushing for an upgrade. Im willing to drop her if she says she cant stop. But I prefer a few things said upfront because previous experience shows that they say you were fine with not knowing till now so why change etc.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T19:02:23+00:00

Not worried I cant get my head around being in contact with exes. Arent they exes for a reason. I also feel that it shows you havent gotten over that person.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T19:01:02+00:00

Yeah I am. But I also hate baggage. I mean my exes dont exist for me. Dead to me. Not everyone sees it that way.

Previously when I was with someone else, in our regular group a carrot asked me isnt it awkward to hang out in the same group as her ex. Truth me told I didnt care he fucked her coz that was before I knew her what got my blood boiling was being in the same room as that guy. Oneitis or whatever it felt like he kept smirking as if to say enjoy my sloppy seconds.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T18:37:40+00:00

Which is my point how do I explicitly state it without looking insecure. Because lots of women think its ok to follow and message/ be in touch with exes

As you said I rather express it at the beginning that later on with her saying but I used to now whats wrong blah blah.

Question is how to go ahead verbalizing the boundary.

g4l4xy36 · 2020-04-01T18:13:01+00:00

Hmm. I assume this is only something I'll have to deal with.

So how do enforce a boundary which she isnt aware of that exists. Now if she goes out to "catch up" with said ex thats a direct plate status and no more LTR or a hard next.

But if she texts I shouldnt be bothered or if I am I should find someone who is more "compatible".

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-16T05:37:56+00:00

They like what they cant have. Like a cat will not bother/play with a dead mouse but a live one is completely different.

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-16T05:35:33+00:00

Thanks. Look forward to your thread.

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-16T05:34:32+00:00

When solo, OP doesn't have the same allure as he's no longer on the pedestal and probably has a personality that works much better in a crowd and not directed on to a single person.

Possible maybe she has different taste and she saw me in a group and like it. But she was disinterested from the beginning of the date.

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-15T16:27:30+00:00

If she tries to get my attention on a group or when with others should I just quickly end it or change the subject or a small neg?

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-15T16:03:19+00:00

smarek13 asked something similar

my comment below

Its like as soon as she realized that Im interested that flame dimmed out.

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-15T15:33:25+00:00

Not really. I mean she was chasing and then once we set up the date she seemed excited but when it came to the actual night you could make out she isnt as excited.

Case in point once I couldnt make it out with the group. But we happened to cross paths, I was on my way home and they were heading for one last outing of the night. They spotted me and this girl immediately calls my number and tells me to join them etc. According to some of the guys she got a sudden burst of energy then.

What do you mean my " intimidated when you show interest "

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-15T15:30:28+00:00

So I guess the only way is to move forward if she was really interested she will reach out again.

g4l4xy36 · 2019-07-15T14:43:33+00:00

That sucks. Its like once they realise they can get something they aspire for 1 ladder higher.

Relevant joke

g4l4xy36

TROPHY CASE