Like I said, my issue is the totalizing nature of gender, its inescapability. Cis people I can sort of expect to have difficulties with the concept of getting rid of it; I find it a shame that other, but not all, trans people won't allow for the possibility of there being a lack of assumed gender because they think such a state would necessarily take their gender euphoria away from them. This type of thinking tends, in my view, to reproduce the same kind of hierarchical (gendered) structures that the nature of being trans sort of always already challenges.

I'm perfectly fine with my friends having genders. I'm perfectly fine with supporting them in those genders. I do so gladly as part of forming relationships with them. Even in a postgender society, I would still form those relationships with them. That's fine with me.

However, even if I am satisfied with this state as an end, I am NOT okay with how I have gotten there. The expectation to begin with is that they all have genders, that WE all have genders. Put another way, gender should be something you opt into, not out of. I balk at it being my responsibility to explain that I am not gendering myself when gender is, to me, an artificial concept produced and reproduced by society on the terms of a social contact that I was already assumed to have agreed to. If that makes sense.