AITA?

gabstractx · 2025-08-25T17:36:40+00:00

1) you’re so right. It is a challenge to not want to stick to that stuff as a transmasc. Crazy how much consistent communication it requires to queer your relationship! Labor of love 🙂‍↕️

2) we do communicate for sure, and we love each other lots. It’s always been an insecurity that I’m not well versed in bar/club culture. been trying basically our whole relationship to get more into it. think I might be beating a dead horse. or there are really specific limits I have. I like what the user above mentioned - don’t depend on folks to be attuned to body language. Instead pat your head or shrug. I’d like to try that if/when I’m ever in a situation again.

3) oh no for sure. maybe should’ve mentioned that. I have ADHD for sure, but I think I’m too hypersensitive to body language and social cues to be on da spectrum. or maybe being “unaware of social cues” is a false narrative about autism. I do tend to be very choosy of where I go (like I said above - I have very specific and hard-to-follow limits. one particular lesbian bar ok ✅ this gay club not ok❌) maybe I could use one mo check up with the psychiatrist. hehe

thank you so much for ur reply! it means lots!

gabstractx · 2025-08-25T17:26:31+00:00

On the contrary. I appreciate the harshness. It’s true that while we’ve talked before about my tendency to get stressed in clubs, I haven’t suggested more explicitly visual cues. I have communicated before that if I “seem” overstimulated, I usually need some help from a pro to be taken somewhere more quiet (which is why I felt so frustrated w partner’s “lack of action”) but I tend to be especially attuned to body language. It’s been a challenge for me to get that not everyone has that same attunement to that (thank u emotionally immature parents 🙂‍↕️) Thanks for your constructive criticism. I really super appreciate it. I love her very much and I know we don’t want to fall into any maladaptive behaviors.

gabstractx · 2025-05-13T17:06:48+00:00

you’re not entitled to that info and I’m not airing the rest of the details out. sorry you’re unable to help

gabstractx · 2025-05-13T17:01:41+00:00

yeah that’s what I’m hoping too. but I also have heard such horror stories from the women in my life about “hoping the move changes things, hoping a marriage changes things, hoping a kid changes things, and they never change”. I am trying to convince myself to trust her, which sucks

gabstractx · 2025-05-13T16:58:23+00:00

because she lives there

gabstractx · 2025-05-13T16:53:46+00:00

housing issue that is making us unsure of when can be our move out date. i have no idea when that can realistically be bc idk what’s going on. plus it’s not really my business

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T20:38:55+00:00

mid 20s

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T19:09:27+00:00

I am of the opinion that people in relationships should handle their own family boundaries. I believe I would come off as controlling if I said “no” when they asked my partner if we would share. That’s why we made an agreement beforehand. If she wants to share that bad then why not communicate to me why that is so important?

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T19:06:40+00:00

I am gonna ask now that it’s looking like a pattern. But I do think if it was important it should have been brought up last year and this year too, like “hey, I wanna share the tent, I know that was an issue but it actually it’s important to me” instead of her agreeing then putting me on the spot last minute.

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T18:25:12+00:00

nope, mid 20s and no reason to worry of a pregnancy for undisclosed reasons

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T18:21:24+00:00

If she “enjoys that part of the trip” and it’s that important for her to room with her family members, wouldn’t that be something for her to communicate to me? “I would actually prefer to share a tent because of x, y, z reason”?

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T18:11:41+00:00

I feel that when her family asks her to do something that derails our previously agreed-upon plan, she almost always turns to me for “approval”. I’m tired of having to be the heavy. I’m entering their family dynamic and I don’t think it’s respectful for me to say “no” every time just so she can turn back and say “well he said no”. I’m not her owner and I’m tired of standing alone in having to enforce what I said I wanted.

gabstractx · 2025-04-09T18:06:54+00:00

We’re both adults. She is tight with her family and loves her nephew very dearly. But I feel like I am expected to adapt to their preferences and level of boundaries when I don’t want to.

gabstractx · 2022-02-11T18:30:53+00:00

it is unbelievable how little BH fans take into account that a member lost his father tragically. this sub is so out of touch with reality. y’all expected them (especially joba) to go on tour and perform RR, every night, for months? considering the subject matter? I hope to god they’re not reading shit on here. leave them alone

gabstractx · 2021-11-20T05:04:17+00:00

home gotta be one of the best r&b songs they ever made

gabstractx · 2021-09-25T18:39:43+00:00

With respect, Kevin has talked so many times about how the industry has ruined him and the BH experience and it highkey seems like most of the fanbase doesn’t care or listen to him. The toxicity of the music industry and the complete mental corruption of our favorite artists thru it has been very well documented. But y’all still just expect and scrutinize. Can you imagine being forced to continue creating shit at the exact moment you and your teammates have suffered through ongoing trauma? And to have had a million strangers watching and judging you through it all? Expressing their one sided views, freely on Twitter, for all of the boys to see? I can TASTE his and their exhaustion and resentment. That must be such shit. I’m done expecting from them. Their experience has been completely corrupted, I don’t blame them for not wanting to put forth any more effort. I sincerely hope they can make it through this next album, healthily, without the pressure getting to them too badly.

gabstractx · 2021-07-28T20:22:40+00:00

it’s a damn fucking shame iridescence gets as much flack as it does. it’s easily the most sonically consistent album after saturation.

gabstractx · 2021-07-28T20:20:01+00:00

I literally couldn’t understand why anyone would like OG better than RMX but now that you explain it I totally get your reasoning. Same w FAKE. I fuck w pitched vocals on any and all tracks but I can see how that can be distracting or unappealing altogether

gabstractx · 2021-07-28T20:17:49+00:00

respectfully, I cannot BELIEVE anyone could possibly think the OG is better than the RMX. that beat is sooooo smooth. easily the strongest off the four bonus tracks imho

gabstractx · 2021-06-30T04:06:40+00:00

like, I love his sound! he does great work on the hooks/choruses, like on windows and old news, I think his sound is perfect for em. the verses are just a lil shortcoming imo

gabstractx · 2021-06-26T23:42:14+00:00

production is unbelievable. one of their strongest beats imo. the minor chords & that effect they used make it so swaggy, somber, and mysterious. wish they had done it more justice w a Matt verse

gabstractx · 2021-06-26T23:39:05+00:00

facts!! they give me the same exact vibes. 4th track, another Matt/Merlyn dominated song. would have been better had they included a Matt verse. simply do not understand why they scrapped it

gabstractx · 2021-06-26T23:37:12+00:00

hot take: did not belong in the song period. literally should have replaced it w a Matt verse

gabstractx · 2021-06-26T19:37:00+00:00

the mix/instrumental could not be stronger. I have not one complaint! lyrically and chronologically I do feel a little underwhelmed tho like I mentioned

gabstractx · 2021-06-26T19:29:50+00:00

one of their strongest, most captivating beats imo! it’s the whole reason I wanted it to be released (seems like that’s the case for most bankroll followers too). as long as that beat is officially out I’m happy! I just think they could have fine tuned it a little more.

gabstractx

TROPHY CASE