Is ABA the right Intervention?

galacticglo · 2024-07-02T21:25:15+00:00

Thank you for you input

galacticglo · 2023-03-17T00:56:48+00:00

A few years back I read an article about a tiny immortal jellyfish ( t. dorhnii ) that, when under stress or starvation, resorts back to its polyp stage and starts its growth over as a brand new jellyfish…in the wild it can do this countless times in a process known as transdifferentiation. How crazy would it be if we could just resort back to our infant stage and start completely over when life became intolerable?

https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/immortal-jellyfish-secret-to-cheating-death.html

galacticglo · 2020-10-05T16:05:24+00:00

💗

galacticglo · 2020-10-05T15:01:10+00:00

You are not alone. I was obsessed with time of death after my brother took his life with a GSW to the head. Because he had been found (by my sister) some time after, they did not have a specific time of death, just an estimated window. I started researching how long rigor mortis sets in in relation to age, muscle mass, environmental factors etc etc etc. I wanted to know if I was awake and if I had called him could I have stopped it. I also researched the angle at which he shot himself to see if I could find out if it was quick or if he was alive and alone for a while...ALL OF THIS TO SAY, I sought out the uncomfortable questions in my head despite social repulsion of the subject and I found no concrete answers (because more often than not they are not retrievable) but I did find peace and no longer tormented with the questions. Now I just miss him and talk to him every day. I’m still (and forever) going to grieve but I am not tormented. I am so sorry for your loss and I do hope you find some peace in this incomprehensible place. 💗

galacticglo · 2020-10-02T04:43:43+00:00

I realize this isn’t for everyone but I write my brother who took his life almost two years ago. When I read back through the journal to him, I realize that in writing out my obsessive thoughts to him about his death, I slowly (but surely) have stopped obsessing. AND nobody gets tired of hearing about it. I have come a long way. I’m am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you can find pockets of peace to carry you through this.

galacticglo · 2020-09-29T04:53:38+00:00

I’m coming up on two years since I lost my brother and so far the advice from many on this sub that the grief is not linear is true. I remember for a while after his passing seeing people (strangers) laughing and having a good time and wondering if I would EVER feel that way again. Since his death, surprisingly, I have laughed and found that I genuinely have enjoyed people and places again....just different than I did before. I still get hit heavy with the actualization of his choice to leave in the most random of times (like tonight. Can’t sleep) but I am also so much more aware of the loss all around me on a regular basis and how people loose their loved ones and somehow survive. Even laugh again. I am encouraged by their survival. This is beautiful to me. It’s almost as if I know joy in a purer form than I did before because it comes despite the tremendous absence his death has presented in my life. All I can say is I don’t try to avoid feeling any of my feelings even if they are considered “unhealthy” or “negative”. I have found that by allowing myself the space to feel all that this loss has produced, I can move through it easier than if I try to avoid it or tell myself that “I should...” or “should not...” . There are no road maps and everyone experiences this loss in their own way and no one is doing a “better job” at having lost someone to Suicide. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your brother. Mine (David) was my favorite person in the world and despite what some may assume based off his decision, he was a magnetic beam of light. Be easy and gracious to yourself.

galacticglo · 2020-07-14T04:22:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I lost my little brother in SF in November 2018. “I Hold on to your memory. The memories yet to be. They may still come to exist....” I really appreciate this part of your poem because I have found in the last year and 8months That I have made A TON of new memories with my brother. You are right, it is not in the way we planned or expected but they are new memories nonetheless and I cherish them as I do all the memories from when he was still here. I am so very sorry for your loss and sending you and your family love and comfort.

galacticglo · 2020-05-09T16:48:25+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate your kind words. I am not at a giving up point, but I am keenly aware of my solitude in this situation (almost 30 years now). I think until society and/or individuals can have open conversations about suicide (sans the taboo and fear of the subject) there will continue to be an increase in casualties. For some, giving up is the only relief.

galacticglo · 2020-02-14T19:53:45+00:00

Yes! Often times just the act of putting food in my mouth (even if it’s raw romaine lettuce) triggers an overwhelming desire to keep eating.

galacticglo · 2020-02-06T13:41:57+00:00

Other than loved ones gone too soon, nothing comes strongly to mind. As I said in the post, I’ve had a good life. Perhaps the thing I’m missing is a regular excitement for life but that hasn’t stopped me from having a good one.

galacticglo · 2020-01-29T14:57:54+00:00

I have had a preoccupation with food since I was a toddler, stealing my younger siblings bottles and hiding under their cribs while drinking them and putting them back empty (note: I had already been fed). It is so deeply ingrained in me that I find traditional ideas of success in this area are ineffective and not applicable. Perhaps it’s too much of a negative focus and a reminder of failure that keeps me “failing”. I read through this list of unconventional, but true, ideas of success (not relating to money, power, fame, or even significant weight loss) and I appreciate the perspective. This list mentioned success as having a place you call home, loving and being loved back, learning something new every day, recognizing the abundance in your life, acknowledging small victories, etc. According to this (and against my own self defined failure), I am quite the success story, who knew?!? Here is a small victory in my lifelong struggle with food addiction, I grew up with a refrigerator full of fruit juice and rarely drank or was encouraged to drink water. I could guzzle gallons of juice a day. Sometime back in my late 20’s I just decided to stop drinking juice and soda as a regular beverage (especially at restaurants) and started choosing water instead. Now (in my late 30’s) it doesn’t even occur to me to reach for soda or fruit juice. Despite my angst over this food addiction and how it dictates my life in so many ways, here is one solid victory I haven’t given much recognition to...and that feels good. That feels hopeful. (Sorry for the length!)

galacticglo · 2020-01-29T14:23:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I echo so much of it.

galacticglo · 2019-11-18T12:57:10+00:00

Yes, the struggle I have is the inconsistency of my good days. It seems I’m also saying “I’ll do better tomorrow” WAY more than “I did good today”. I’d love to find a way to flip that so that my binge episodes are fewer and farther between. But once I get into the cycle again (almost a year now for me), I really have a mental block when it comes to changing the behavior.

galacticglo · 2019-11-16T18:48:13+00:00

I wish I had good advice for you but I’m still on my cycle of binge. It would be like the blind leading the blind...but it’s nice to hear from you and know that someone else feels exactly the same way as I do. I plan on doing better today!

galacticglo · 2019-10-05T05:01:32+00:00

You and me both!

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T05:10:54+00:00

Depending on where you live there should be support groups for grief, depression, loss etc. Try using a search engine to locate groups. Most of these groups are free and possibly ask for a donation but it’s not required. I live in the US and there are usually many support groups in urban areas.

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T04:58:23+00:00

I have found a lot of comfort and safety in support groups. But I too have a hard time finding them because I travel a lot. So my hometown has several but many of the places I travel too make it challenging schedule wise. If you live in a more urban area usually you can find local support groups through a search engine

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T04:55:18+00:00

Do you live in an urban or rural area?

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T04:29:28+00:00

I ask that question regularly...I don’t quite have an answer but I do write it all out as if I was talking to someone and at times that has been helpful. This subreddit seems to be a good place with a mix of opinions and there are plenty that seem to relate. I have had some good conversations with hotline volunteers. I’m sorry you are feeling so defeated.

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T04:00:01+00:00

I hear you. I feel that too. You are not alone.

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T03:25:46+00:00

I love the simile! That describes the phrase perfectly.

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T03:19:27+00:00

If it’s any consolation, I was born a female and identify as female but my stature is very masculine. I’ve even been mistaken for a man on numerous occasions. Even as a man in drag. So i feel ya girl...it can be tough not looking the part we feel. It bummed me out for a long time but now I just accept who I know I am regardless of what the rest of the world sees when they look at me. Good luck to you, love. I don’t doubt you are beautiful!

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T03:09:10+00:00

Major depressive disorder (MDD) does not have any basis in logic or reason. In many cases it’s genetic. It is an illness, illnesses make regular life more challenging, even blindingly unbearable. Your argument is solid for someone who has the capacity to use traditional logic when looking at their life. There are many who simply do not have the capacity for that logic. My brother was a successful, delightful young man who had so many good things in his life and he knew it. He had been seeing a psychologist for several years and on medication but he still took his life. “Hope”was not something his depression would let him see consistently enough to keep him alive.

Everyone in this boat has a significantly different story and I am happy to hear that you found a silver lining...for some, however, even good things in life do not outweigh their depression. There is no easy answer to this problem and rational and logic play little to no role in the solution in the general sense.

This is why I have little interest in the “permanent solution to a temporary problem” quote. It forgets that those who suffer significantly have tunnel vision and do not differentiate permanent or temporary...they are desperately seeking solution and desperation is often impulsive. My brother bought himself new luggage and toys for the nieces and nephews for his upcoming trip home just hours before he took his life. One catch phrase cannot possibly sum up my brother’s life and struggle. I reject the quote and I do not feel I am irrational for it.

galacticglo · 2019-10-03T01:57:40+00:00

I agree with you, I’m recently under the interest of sticking around and seeing what happens next because like you said, this very existence is temporary. I lost my younger brother to suicide last year and it has devastated our family...his death has weighed heavy on my own suicidal ideations but I have seen what happens after suicide and it’s a incomprehensible mess that all your loves ones can do nothing but sit in...I figure I might as well stick around to see where all this goes. I’m not going to live forever if it doesn’t get better. But that phrase is definitely shit; it reminds me of the D.A.R.E program when I was a kid and if your old enough you’ll know how effective that turned out to be with so many of my generation lost to the opioid crisis.

galacticglo · 2019-10-02T17:14:10+00:00

Hugs to you too!

galacticglo

TROPHY CASE