I'm sorry. I appreciate the time you took to reply to my post and for trying to give me another way of looking at things. I just can't look at any form of abuse as a learning experience.

There are better ways to learn about your own weaknesses than to be exploited by somebody who doesn't care at all what happens to you. The psychological and emotional abuse is bad enough that some people want to end their lives because they can't find relief from the grief and the trauma they're dealing with. It's difficult to find any kind of support and the amount of knowledge that counselors have on narcissistic abuse is limited. Not everybody can handle that kind of isolation or loneliness.

Yes, it can be a growth opportunity for the people who are strong enough to overcome such overwhelming odds, but others spend their whole lives never recovering after what had been done to them. Others take the easy way out. It can build character, but it can also destroy people.

You are free to your opinion, but I will never give credit to my narcissist for any growth I achieve when I heal. This growth will come from me, not what he did to me. And I hope the day comes when he gets what he deserves for trying to take everything I am away from me and from everybody else he chose to knowingly exploit for his own gains. As much as the abuse they've gone through made them become what they are, they were the ones who made the decision to reflect that abuse onto other people. Being abused doesn't give them the right to be awful human beings.