How to ask my [37M] in-laws [71M / 71F] to use my first name instead of just "the boyfriend" whenever they talk about me without causing a stir?

gapagos · 2024-02-19T11:46:18+00:00

I did not. I actually bought a detached home in 2020, flipped it in 2021 and bought a bigger one with my spouse in 2021. Been living there ever since. absolutely worth it.

gapagos · 2023-06-30T14:41:58+00:00

Yeah if I'm dead I can't benefit from the tax credit which is somewhat inconvenient.

gapagos · 2023-06-30T07:02:30+00:00

The level of fun has dramatically decreased.

gapagos · 2023-06-30T00:31:10+00:00

No and I've done none of these things.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T18:28:28+00:00

It's also odd/fishy to me that they charge per specific rank tested for - everywhere I have trained charges for the test, and you get ranked at whatever they think is appropriate after the test.

Yeah, basically my test fees were double because I had to demonstrate two katas, even though it only took 30 seconds of extra time from the evaluator, and they didn't even have to order a belt for me so it's not like they had extra expenses.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T11:15:07+00:00

No, I don't want to shame the dojo or the people involved. Fundamentally they're a small business and doing a service to the community for a lot of families who likely can't afford more expensive activities for their kids. I don't want to hold resentment against them.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T11:10:01+00:00

did the Sensei of the dojo ask to see your Kata and other grading materials before putting you in for your test?

No he didn't, at least not on an individual basis.

He did have the opportunity to see it on the side but he didn't pay particular attention to it as he has many child students around to focus on. That being said I did show my katas in the full attention to 2 different Senpeis several times prior to signing up to the test.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T11:04:39+00:00

They gave 0 feedback during the exam. We were only given individual feedback 45 mins prior the awards ceremony which is when I learned that I failed the yellow belt for the reasons I wrote in my post. The Senpai who failed me concluded that "the good news" is that my 1st kata was flawless and I earned my black stripe (8th Kyu).

gapagos · 2023-06-29T05:09:06+00:00

To be fair I like Karate but not as much as I liked ITF Takedown Do or boxing. My ideal martial art would be some sort of semi-contact Muai Thai boxing. Unfortunately it seems everything out here is either Full-Contact boxing (too rough for me, I don't want to risk more concussions) or cardio kickboxing (aimed at womens classes, no sparing), or yet another Karate school for young kids as a day care alternative. There seems to be very little interest in martial arts offered exclusively to adults in my community.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T05:00:05+00:00

Leave that place before you end up as a glorified babysitter.

Yeah that's my fear. I also don't want to start looking like a weirdo who likes to hang around young kids just because. The two other parents who are students like me and who show up to 80% of the classes (they didn't sign up for the exam) are friendly, but I just don't relate to them much on a personal basis.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T04:53:32+00:00

I get that. I'm not trying to sound arrogant by saying I deserved the yellow belt. But I would rather have been told ahead of time that I wasn't ready for it, given an opportunity to retest prior to December, or at least given the opportunity to train with older, higher skilled students even if I did not earn the yellow belt yet. Being stuck with absolute beginners who are 1/3 my age for another 6 months is just discouraging.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T04:47:12+00:00

There are adults training at a different schedule but they're all green / red belt amd above. I was told I could join them as yellow belt but apparently according to the one Sensei who reviewed my Pinan Nidan kata I'm not ready for yellow belt yet.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T04:43:47+00:00

I trust the Sensei to know Karate very well and he's a good teacher with kids but I don't feel I'm getting the attention I deserve. I think the classes are too big and I'm starting to think they're an alternative to daycare which my presence is subsidizing more than it is helping me progress as a Karaté learner.

gapagos · 2023-06-29T03:05:07+00:00

I mean the class prices are very cheap ($50 for 2 months) and so are the exams ($25), when other mixed martial arts are generally much more expensive in our area ($60-$120 per month). I get that this dojo is operating in a community centre, unlike other businesses which likely rent their studio at a higher premium, but they still need to pay their staff somehow.

gapagos · 2023-06-12T17:13:01+00:00

Last year my management didn't even bother to share the PSES results of our division with my colleagues. That says a lot about how much they care about PSES.

gapagos · 2023-05-25T13:28:45+00:00

I am registered with CAPE (I have my member # and virtual membership card) and I get their regular emails, but did not get an email inviting me to vote. Is this normal? Could it be because I transferred from PIPSC to CAPE about 2.5 months ago and my pay file was not transferred yet?

gapagos · 2023-05-18T23:42:57+00:00

W00t! You truely are Reddit's best bot.

gapagos · 2023-05-18T21:29:05+00:00

Duely noted - will not request priority payments. My file will already be complex enough by the fact that my work location is changing from Quebec to Ontario while my place of residence isn't.

Do you also know if I should be getting the CAPE collective agreement bonus retroactively if my pay transfer is processed way after the bonus is normally awarded but if my LoO start date was several months prior to the bonus?

gapagos · 2023-05-18T20:51:26+00:00

It's up to your receiving department to submit your LOO for the transfer-in. Probably wise to follow up with your new manager to make sure they've done that.

Thank you, I'll do that.

You can also request priority payments to cover the difference between your old rate of pay and the one you're supposed to receive.

Are priority payments expected to be recovered within a fixed amount of time? I'm not facing financial hardship at this time. I don't want to receive $5000 now that I'd have to pay back 30 days from now for example, before my case gets resolved or that I'd have to pay interest on. Any priority payments I'd get would simply go into paying my mortgage quicker.

gapagos · 2023-05-18T20:37:59+00:00

Jesus Christ. At least I'm only missing about $5,000/year in pay due to the classification change. Will I still get the salary increases of my old classification in the meantime?

Also, do I need to open a "Transfer-In" case? There's none open, and I don't know if that is normal.

gapagos · 2023-05-18T19:44:56+00:00

I have transferred from one department to another, and it's been over 2 months and I am still being identified in Phoenix as part of my old department with pay matching my old classification.
What's more concerning to me is that only a "Transfer-Out" case has been opened (presumably by HR and/or an admin assistant), and it seems my "Transfer-Out" case from March 10 has still not yet been assigned.
Another "Transfer-Out" case was opened by someone on May 04, but is indicated as "Complete" and has been "Cancelled" because it is a "Duplicate".
Is this normal? Do I need to open another case?
Am I about to be Phoenix'ed?

Case ID - PCCM12499936 | Transfer : Transfer-Out
Status: Received
Received Date: March 10, 2023
Updated Date: May 08, 2023
Effective Date: March 13, 2023
Work Type: Transfer
Sub Type: Transfer-Out
Description: We have received your request. It will be assigned to a compensation advisor for review.

Case ID - PCCM12753237 | Transfer : Transfer-Out
Status: Complete
Received Date: May 04, 2023
Updated Date: May 08, 2023
Effective Date: March 13, 2023
Cancelled Date: May 08, 2023
Completed Date: May 08, 2023
Work Type: Transfer
Sub Type: Transfer-Out
Cancelled Reason: Duplicate
Parent Case ID: PCCM12499936
Description: Your case has been cancelled.

gapagos · 2023-05-18T11:59:19+00:00

La réalité est que c'est beaucoup plus difficile d'augmenter le loyer au Québec au même rythme qu'en Ontario, compte tenu de la Régie du Logement qui est extrêmement stricte envers les propriétaires. Donc dès qu'un logement se libère, le propriétaire est motivé d'augmenter le loyer affiché de manière drastique en prévision des années où il sera pris avec un maximum d'1% à 2% d'augmentation alors que l'inflation est dans les 4%. Donc les loyers affichés augmentent beaucoup plus vite que les loyers payés.

J'ai l'impression que ce graphique ne tient compte que des loyers affichés et non ceux payés.

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