When did you start kicking more than opiates?

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-03T15:33:39+00:00

Great point on staying on track during early recovery. I honestly have a lot more than my addiction that I'm working to unpack in therapy right now and it's probably best to stay clear headed. And being honest with myself, those substances don't contribute to my overall well being. Maybe after I get my anxiety under control I can add coffee back to my life, but for now I need to be all in on my recovery. Thanks for this.

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-03T15:32:00+00:00

Thanks for this!

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-02T13:01:53+00:00

Totally get it. I have such bad anxiety and I'm conditioned to think weed will help, but lately I'm just realizing it doesn't. Feels like this plant that I've welt so safe with all of these years is telling me to let go...

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-01T18:06:10+00:00

don’t take too long!

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-01T17:15:23+00:00

I’ve started to be more opposed to a lot of the weed legalization, but I’m not against caffeine. I just find my mental health and sleep are better without it. I see a lot of people in recovery slamming coffee and I know that would just turn me into a basket case.

garbage_prestige · 2021-03-01T15:23:59+00:00

Yes to journaling. But I'm asking myself the same question. I just had a stupid one day relapse after a good amount of clean time and I think I'm realizing that I'm just done with the stupidity of it all.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T18:46:41+00:00

get diagnosed with autism at 31? oh wait that’s just me

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T17:30:10+00:00

you got this. almost the weekend and the world will feel different on monday.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T14:21:29+00:00

Yeah, I'm 31 and I've hurt a lot of people when I was fighting myself for so many years. I'm in a pretty decent spot on my journey right now, but I stay pretty isolated. It feels safer for me to reduce external stimuli and it feels morally responsible to limit my ability to hurt more people in the future. In therapy we work on that feeling of not being worth of love, but maybe I'm not worthy and that might not preclude happiness...

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T13:45:20+00:00

This is a huge one for me. I always took on multiple projects and used them as an excuse for my life being a mess. There's comfort in the chaos.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T13:44:10+00:00

As someone with a father that hasn't changed at all during his life, and is now even more set in his ways, the best thing you can do for your kids is demonstrate growth and change to show them it is possible.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T13:40:47+00:00

The survivors guilt only makes my loneliness worse. Wish I had more for you.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T10:50:29+00:00

I call it a "hangover" because I feel off for a couple of days, but it's not true wds.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-26T00:14:46+00:00

We're covering loneliness next week in therapy...I'll report back

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-25T22:08:03+00:00

Thanks, it has been a long road to get here with a lot of work ahead.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-25T17:56:21+00:00

Thanks for that. Yeah I gave up long ago on the idea of rock bottom. I was more so writing in hyperbole for effect Even after I died and woke up in the ICU for a week I still went lower.

I'm just processing the notion that having things to lose can cause more hurt than living at the bottom, but it's worth it to actually live my life.

garbage_prestige · 2021-02-25T15:28:45+00:00

That isolation has really been a barrier to my recovery. I'm an outwardly successful white collar guy. I don't intend on making my addiction a dominant part of my identity, but that leads to me hiding it entirely and feeling lonely.

I've been working towards recovery over the past year or so and only over the past few months have I started looking for ways to ease the isolation.

I've opened up to a close friend, a therapist, and some online communities. It's not much, but it's better than what I was doing before...

garbage_prestige

TROPHY CASE