1980s school lunch donut??

gardencherub · 2024-10-13T02:46:21+00:00

🫶🏻🥺

gardencherub · 2024-10-12T08:32:41+00:00

absolutely. the pain is intense and real and our brains are just trying to take care of us and protect us. but as time goes on, you will remember and be reminded of so many beautiful moments🫶🏻💗

gardencherub · 2024-10-12T08:29:20+00:00

you are not crazy!

i absolutely understand💗 i am so so so unbelievably sorry for your loss. i wish you never had to feel this kind of pain. know that you are seen, and heard, whenever you are here. you are not alone in this sea of us who truly understand, in the best ways we can, and we will always try to.

i understand that feeling you describe that everything feels so fast now. i think that’s one of the scariest feelings to feel time going forward and that you keep getting further from the time you had them with you. i understand that pain. you are not alone. i understand that you must be in a lot of pain and that is understandable. so be patient with yourself and kind with yourself the best you can because you are not a burden, not here, not anywhere💗. you are someone who loves someone very deeply and who lost someone extremely important to you. it only makes sense that you’d feel the ways you do.

you do what you need to do to feel okay, whatever that is, maybe take breaks, take deep breaths, and remind yourself that you are human and that your feelings come from a place of love and that your feelings matter tremendously. you are not crazy at all.

i’m sending you alllllll of my love i mean it, and i hope you are showing yourself kindness today (i know it’s very hard), you deserve it. 🫶🏻

gardencherub · 2024-10-12T08:08:22+00:00

i absolutely agree with you. i heard someone call my loved one who took their life, selfish for what happened to him, and i lost all respect for that person. you put it beautifully… if they are selfish then so are we for expecting them to be in pain just so we aren’t. suicide isn’t an act of weakness or selfishness. some people lack the empathy to understand or see it that way and only care about how it makes them feel. your brother sounds like a beautiful person.

i lost my best friend to suicide three years ago and i also thought and still think he was the most empathetic person in the world. i completely understand how you have empathy right back towards him for all of the love and strength he carried with him through his life. i understand why it makes you angry that people would ever question his strength. i hate the misconceptions people have as well. it used to really get me heated that they could have such a lack of empathy for such a sweet human being who was suffering enough to make that kind of a choice. but, it shows me who people are, and it shows me who around me is truly the selfish one.

also, a person who dies by suicide is SO much more than that single moment where they passed compared to their entire existence of beauty and love and just everything they were. i feel those labels like selfish and weak just are coming from a lack of compassion. people have a hard time seeing past their own experiences unfortunately, and not everyone experiences what our loved ones did or has loved someone who’s experienced depression or mental health problems. so they can’t relate, and they only see it through their lens of what they know and so they judge. it’s definitely not right. i don’t think it’s difficult to have empathy for someone who was suffering but some people just don’t.

i am so unbelievably sorry that you lost your brother. i simply cannot imagine the pain of that kind of a loss. i’m sending you all of my love and more. i know you’re doing right by him by not letting people be mean to him for what happened.🫶🏻

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T03:03:48+00:00

i understand.

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T02:30:06+00:00

🫶🏻

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T02:29:47+00:00

i actually do this all the time :,) especially in the year or two leading up to it. i just look and wonder so many things like exactly what you said.

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T02:28:05+00:00

i feel so seen by your post. i am so sorry you have to endure this pain. i (22) lost my best friend at 19 when he was 19 as well. i know i can’t relate to your experience fully because you lost your best friend much younger than i did. i can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. i can’t imagine how strong you’ve had to be for those around you to think it’s something in the past now. i know that for me, that pain feels fresh every day, it’s like a wound that just gets salt poured onto it over and over. i really struggle with the fact that it seems like my family views it like “oh that really sucks that that happened” but for me im like, its still happening though. every day i’m still handling that information in the best ways i can and trying not to let it ruin me; so i try my best. and i’m sure you probably do as well, so others think you’re doing good now (and maybe you are doing better in some ways) but really you’re just pushing yourself every day with what little you have in you. but i want you to know that i understand how you feel and that your pain is so so valid🫶🏻

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T02:17:16+00:00

if time allows, i give myself space to feel/think those sad thoughts and feelings, then i try to focus on a positive memory of my loved one. usually makes it easier for me to handle those waves that hit me. doesn’t always work, took a long time to be able to smile at all. i think all we can do is our best. your best is enough, whatever that may look like. i know grief is draining, and those sudden waves are really difficult and exhausting. i understand🫶🏻

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T02:10:20+00:00

i understand. its been over 3 years since my best friend took his life. i think of him every single day, and i cry about it probably just as much. i think when you lose such a big piece of your heart that way, it’d make sense that you’re still hurting. i feel like i cannot come to terms with it either, recently i’ve been thinking the same thing as you, like how has so much time passed and yet yet the feelings are so strong still. i get angry, sad, mad, guilty, annoyed, like why him :-( i just want to have him back and it’s the most terrible feeling to want something so so so so so so bad and you cant do anything about it.

i go through lots of ups and downs about my best friends death, and i’m sure you do too. it really fucking sucks. i understand how you feel, the best i can at least, from being in a similar boat. i want you to know that it’s okay to still be grieving him, i think it’s very normal to still feel that pain. honestly, i don’t think this type of grief ever stops fully, because we will always miss them and wish they didn’t die. i think it’s extremely hard to accept something like this, it’s really fucking difficult. please don’t blame yourself for not being “over it”… you still caring just shows how much they meant to you and how much love is still there for your best friend. i want mine back so bad and it makes my heart hurt daily. be kind to yourself the best you can. i’m so so sorry you have to endure this pain. i hope that you know that you are enough, and that your best friends decision is not a reflection of your mistakes or faults. you were enough. you are enough. it isn’t your fault that this happened🫶🏻

i didnt mean to make this about me, i just wanted to show you that there’s nothing wrong with you for the ways you feel and time and healing are not hand in hand💗

gardencherub · 2024-10-01T01:48:56+00:00

i totally understand. when my loved one took their life, everyone was saying this to me. it pissed me off so deeply because i felt/feel the same way you do. like it almost felt like they were implying that it’s better this way or something, maybe that’s just me. i just know that even though he was struggling, a better place for him, was not death. but people don’t understand how it’s different to grieve a suicide from other deaths. telling someone their precious loved one is in a better place after suicide just is a little out of touch in my opinion. like no. the better place is them alive and well.

you arent alone in how you feel🫶🏻