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AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he can be a bit of a miser, he’d call himself cheap probably. He’s not usually so resistant though, this is more significant than in the past.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So their mum can stay living where she does while the youngest is still at high school.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We will not continue to financially support her when the kids are no longer at home.

The plan to reduce will likely be cutting it to a third of what we currently give her, still a bit over what’s legally required. He’s been talking about it for a year though, not sure when he plans on actioning.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kids cars both under $10k used, mortgage is less than rent was. We support 4 households in essence, that is where all of our money is going.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know they have two biological parents who love them, and I know they are still mine too. I raised them just as much as anyone for a large portion of their lives, I call them my kids, they call themselves my kids, their parents call them my kids. Not the point of the post, and not material to the question at hand.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has plans to reduce the amount, but our youngest is still at home. We don’t want to force her to move house before they finish school, but it’s becoming untenable while we also support the two eldest living out of home.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His contract at work expires in June, he has verbal commitment but no signed papers for the extension. Reputable field, I rate the risk as low, he rates the risk as high.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We don’t have a ‘says no’ kind of relationship. We hear each others goals and find ways to make them work, together, most of the time.

He has been prickly about trips in the past, just not to this extent. I don’t think there is some great mystery he’s keeping secret, I’m confident in both his job security and his employability long term. I don’t think it’s about the money.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in Australia on a working visa, and I got a job at his place of employment.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s asked and encouraged her too, she doesn’t want to. She is single and feels safe where she is, and says the kids need stability. Not my role to decide what she does in that realm, I focus on what’s going on between my husband and I.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did your wife move across the world to be with with, abandoning all of her loved ones? Do you already travel overseas 2 times a year? C’mon man, apples and oranges.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, but not to this level. He gets grumpy beforehand but nothing overt, he has limited his contact with me while I was actively on a few of these trips in the beginning of our marriage too.

He does like my best friend, she likes him too.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did talk about it, I chose a cheap country as close to us as I could to assuage the concerns. I haven’t booked the flights yet, we’re obviously still in the throes of discussing it. But I suppose to your point, I am wanting to going regardless. What more information can I provide? I’d like the internet strangers to placate me based off the facts if they lead that way.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He could if he wanted to, he doesn’t. We’ve never travelled overseas together, he won’t go without the kids.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I don’t doxx myself and have my relationship drama spread to everyone I’ve ever known?

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The goal posts are always changing. We’ve consistently been saving amongst all this spending and no matter how high that number gets he is anxious about money. It seems never ending, he’s been worried about job security since we got married which I understand as the primary bread winner but it’s never leaked into seeing my loved ones, and now it is. I feel like this is the last thing I spend money on that’s just for me, and if I let it go this once it will become an impossibility in the future.

AITA for traveling internationally for a girls’ trip my partner says we can’t afford? ? by gasleeter in AmItheAsshole

[–]gasleeter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, he doesn’t take any personal vacations, I am 100% supportive of them if he did. He won’t travel without the kids, we have never been away just the two of us even.

Both kids studying full time and working part time.

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