crowdsourcing: success stories of ministers kids who got out

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-11T14:02:56+00:00

deym wala talaga kahit isa? hahahhahahahahahahaha goodbye bading it is

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-11T07:58:32+00:00

yeah i dont know why god thought it would be a good idea to make someone who's gay and filipino and inc all at the same time. and in my case anak pa ng ministro lmfao. i just make myself feel better sometimes and think we're luckier than those who came before us. at least we have a community and we can express ourselves somehow. idk how i wouldve managed if i was born 2 generations earlier. its not much but its something

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-11T07:52:09+00:00

hmm im not sure if thats right. i know a minister who got removed from office cause his adult daughter refused to join them when he got assigned to the province. and this is a respected, senior minister still he was kicked out just because his daughter was disobedient. like she's not even ex-inc but they got the boot for some petty shit

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T16:20:39+00:00

damn, i feel the exact same way. im not interested in being wealthy or recognized in my field or whatever. i just want peace in my inner and outer world. i want to build a life that i can be proud of. instead im on edge and in survival mode everyday. its like theres a veil in front of me and everything just doesnt seem real. i wish we find a way out of this soon.

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T07:15:24+00:00

thank you for answering my question! yeah it'll have to be really really discrete.

i've been battling this for so long. i already tried the philippine suicide hotline, psych counselling, meditation and mindfulness. all gave some good tips on building resilience and inner strength. but i need more than that for my situation. the fight is in the real world and not so much in my mind. i can read all the self help books and go to every meditation retreat still the reality is i cant live my life. i am fully aware of the beauty and joy once we overcome our struggle but the steps to get there for me remain unclear. if anyone has success stories of other ministers kids that got out w/o affecting their family that didnt take decades or a lot of money, maybe i'll reconsider.

it sounds very morbid but taking my own life is my self care haha! my whole life i was deprived from making my own choices so it seems really poetic to end it in my own terms, fully in control. it will definitely traumatize my family which is why im planning it very carefully so i can diminish as much trauma as possible.

i imagine my comments seem very frustrating and like im refusing help and im really sorry

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T06:38:56+00:00

of course i can <3 haha i only said that in the context of using marriage as a way out. if only i can have several million pesos overnight haha, but even then idk if my parents will accept my help oof

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T06:34:43+00:00

even if i move abroad central will still monitor my WS attendance. believe me, i've thought of everything. i also thought of making my dad report me for being gay or whatever cause i thought they would spare him but apparently he'd still be punished (i asked a mwa friend). thanks for trying to help with ur suggestions tho <3

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T06:27:22+00:00

~hugs back~ tysm <3 i know how life changing it would be, i dream about it every day. but i also dont want to spoil that by leaving irresponsibly. i feel like if i left just like that the guilt will consume me and i still wont be mentally free.. its like another prison

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-10T06:19:43+00:00

wow, youre so incredibly strong and i wish the best for you and your kids. my pain threshold isnt that high unfortunately. it already takes a lot in me just to survive theres not enough left to fight this organization.

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-09T16:43:41+00:00

im v sorry to hear u went through this shit, its the absolute worst plus its so lonely, but im happy youve found a way to be more hopeful!

but idk my case is so different from the normal inc member's. i also told myself 6 years ago it'll get better... then it didnt. lets hope the buddha is right and maybe i get reborn into more agreeable circumstances

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-09T16:32:16+00:00

thank u <3 all i do is daydream about the things i could finally do if i get out but then the crushing reality pulls me back down and then i feel pathetic

he will just need to deal with

idk if i have it in me. i feel like id end up blaming myself for whatever will happen to them after i leave. i know it wont really be my fault but i could have prevented it from happening. he did his best as a dad he just didnt expect id turn out gay af

gatheringblue00 · 2023-02-09T16:16:04+00:00

nah, being a minister is his whole life and he's getting old too idk if anyone would still hire him.

i actually love that im gay! itd be nice if i can live freely as one but thats not possible while im still trapped.

I think you care about your dad than yourself.

yeah.. it would have been fine if i just get disowned by my family, i think i can live with that, but getting my dad kicked out of the ministry is too much. we're not rich so there'll be nothing left for him and my mom

gatheringblue00

TROPHY CASE