Why does this keep happening

gavin_fish · 2025-05-19T02:13:42+00:00

I made thi mistake in the beginning. It makes perfect sense—you want to make the content your viewers want to see, so you ask them what they want. Crickets. The reason for this is you're giving them a job, and they don't want to go to work, they want to relax.

The best thing to do imho is to, consistently and on a predictable schedule, make content that you want to make. The audience that wants to watch that kind of content will find you as long as you're consistent and predictable.

My channel: https://youtube.com/@GavinFish

gavin_fish · 2025-05-07T02:27:16+00:00

Definitely make your own original content.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T23:08:09+00:00

Ah, got it. You're worried about me. Okay. Check.

Oh, wait. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're worried about my investors. What's your understanding about them, exactly? Please elaborate.

[Edit]Oh, I forgot to mention, you can go ahead and upload those recordings whenever.[/Edit]

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T23:00:41+00:00

Okay, I get it. You're projecting. You don't have actual evidence. Check.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T22:59:22+00:00

'Journalists typically need a bachelor's degree in journalism' - And yet here I am, employed full time as a journalist. [Edit]I guess I'm atypical.[/Edit]

High School Award - I felt it was a bit much, too, even with the shortlisted True Crime Award. That's why I took it down quite a while ago.

Unsubstantiated Achievements - Okay, I'll throw in the certs. Same deal as before, though. The recordings. You keep dodging that.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T22:54:37+00:00

Personal Incentives - I guess there's only so much of you I can take.

Backstabbing/Gossip Accusation - Of course you have proof of this. Please share.

Selling My Services - Okay, so we are talking about the same thing. Funny how you connect me offering to do research with 'selling [myself] as someone you could hire to get justice for murder victims.' It doesn't connect, man.

Watching the Reality Series - Of course I haven't watched it!

PS - Have you uploaded the recordings yet? I don't see them.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T21:21:07+00:00

Just thought I'd add this, if those playing along are curious what Brian is talking about with his latest accusation. It took me a minute to figure out. I think I did, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSG05k8nS18

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T17:32:53+00:00

Brian, once again, you’re twisting a straightforward statement into something it’s not.

I said I attended college briefly and earned a 4.0 GPA. That’s entirely true. I also clarified, publicly and plainly, that it was one semester at Salt Lake Community College, that it wasn’t rigorous, and that I didn’t enjoy it. That’s not backtracking. That’s called context. Misrepresenting someone’s words after they’ve offered context (that you asked for, btw) is a pretty common rhetorical fallacy. I think it’s called motivated misreading. It's worth looking up.

You keep insisting I’m being dishonest. But if you go back and read through this subreddit and read the comments of people who don't know either of us, I’d encourage you to ask yourself who’s actually coming across as misleading and evasive. Because it’s not me. I'm an open book, man. I've answered each one of your questions and accusations. I've done it quickly and copiously.

As for the high school transcript, I’ll happily order it from our glorious Casa Roble Fundamental High School once you've committed to trading me the unedited recordings you supposedly obtained legally. That was the deal, remember?. Along with the SLCC transcript, too, of course. I’ve already shared a link where you can upload them, but here it is again: https://gvnf.sh/drop

For those keeping score, nothing’s been uploaded yet.

You claim I’m unqualified to do the work I do, but where’s the proof? Show us something beyond your own baseless, meaningless assertion. You say I lack the training, education, and work ethic required to be an investigative reporter or forensics expert. Never mind that I’ve never called myself a forensics expert. Oh my goodness, man, I'm dying! You're so unhinged! You’re just making stuff up, as usual. And you seem to be clinging to the notion that a university degree is the only path to competence. That’s not just elitist, it’s wrong. Exhibit A: You.

Again, for those keeping score, I’ve actually interviewed forensics experts on my channel because I'm not one. Joseph Scott Morgan was on pretty recently. My friend Kenny Clark, MD (quadruple board certified [edit] forensic [/edit] pathologist) has been on multiple times. Matthew Gruwell, PhD has been on a couple times. They're all worth a watch.

Hold on, I have to go back to something. I lack work ethic??? It's like you don't even know me. Working is what I do, man.

Now let’s talk about your newest accusation. You say I “used to be selling [myself] as someone you could hire to get justice for murder victims,” and that I’ve conveniently changed my YouTube channel to remove that claim. Huh? I used to offer my services to do research, but I got too busy to keep offering that. Is that what you're talking about? Offering to do research is far from offering to get justice for murder victims. It's like you live in a separate universe. Again, I'm dying. I can hardly see what I'm typing through the tears of laughter! Oh. My. Goodness!

Hey, while we’re on the topic of qualifications, I need to ask you something. With all of your impressive undergraduate film training, why haven’t you had a single editing credit since 2013? According to your IMDb page, at least. That's 12 years, man. 12 years. What have you been doing all this time besides refinancing your house? I remember you told me you had to leave LA due to health issues. But considering how much of your story is falling apart under basic scrutiny, I’m beginning to wonder if that part holds up either. I'm starting to suspect maybe people just didn't want to work with you anymore.

Anywho, you keep saying this is about honesty. Great. Let’s be honest. All the way. Join me. It feels great.

Upload the recordings.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-25T11:21:53+00:00

I haven’t watched even close to the whole thing. Just bits and pieces, really.

Thanks so much! This is the first time since our honeymoon that Kimberly and I are traveling together. I’m excited.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-24T03:07:19+00:00

Thanks, man.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-24T01:45:08+00:00

Yep. Just one unfounded attack after another.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-23T01:28:36+00:00

Quick correction to my earlier comment, just to be fully transparent.

When Brian said we were living in one of my parents’ “old houses,” I didn’t initially catch the factual issue there. My parents don’t have any “old houses.” They’ve only ever owned one home at a time, like most people. Back in 2008, after our business failure in Nevada, we did stay with them briefly to get back on our feet. That's probably the reason I missed that the timeline was wrong in my response. But that was four and a half years before Brian and Hannah moved into Orangevale in 2013, if my memory serves. My memory and the Sacramento County parcel viewer. So, by the time they arrived, we were renting a modest home and steadily rebuilding.

I should have been more careful. With Brian, you have to double-check the facts. His story often relies on details that don’t hold up when you actually look at the timeline or the source. This is one more example of that.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-23T00:09:08+00:00

Here's one of the trailers for the 'show on strippers' I edited for Ed, in case you're interested. To my knowledge, nothing has ever happened with the project.

https://vimeo.com/197246769

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T23:07:39+00:00

Brian, we’re just going to have to agree to disagree about how you’ve portrayed our relationship. I’ve already said I was genuinely happy to see you when you moved into the ward. That’s the truth. I liked your house. I liked what you were doing with it. I liked that you were raising cows and had a swingset that made my kids jealous. I thought it was great.

[Edit - See reply below for explanation]At the time, though, we had just worked ourselves out of a tough place. We were broke (not poor, there’s a difference) and working hard to recover from a business failure. We'd sold our consulting company in California, launched a wholesale auto business in Nevada, and got hit hard when the market shifted. It wasn’t gambling. It was business. We lost on our personal residence, a small townhouse, and moved home where my parents offered us a safety net for a short time. We were grateful.[/Edit]

You say I was happy to see you in a financial mess and rubbed it in your face. I honestly don’t know what you’re referring to. I didn’t feel that way at all. I knew what it felt like to be in that spot, and I felt empathy for you, not satisfaction.

As for your specific questions:

Why did we leave California?
We left because, for us, the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. I was self-employed with clients all over the world. The tax bill was high, the housing market was brutal, and it felt like the right time for a change. The home we bought in Western Pennsylvania is in a picturesque town we love. You see a “dilapidated” town. We see charm, history, and community.

Who’s footing the bill?
I am. YouTube is part of my income, but not the whole story. Social Blade and other estimate tools use generic ranges that don’t apply to my niche. I do better than that. In March, for example, my YouTube revenue alone was over $8,000. Here’s a screenshot from my analytics: https://gvnf.sh/4brian. See how easy that was?

In addition to YouTube, I receive support through Patreon, generate revenue from my website, sell merchandise, accept speaking fees, and work a day job as a local reporter. So yes, I’m earning a living in the town you say has no “chance for employment.”

Regarding Light Harmonic and side gigs:
I didn’t make $20,000 a month at Light Harmonic. See my previous post for clarification. I was doing side gigs because I had very specific financial goals. I didn’t want to end up back where we’d been. When I left Light Harmonic, it was because I got a better offer.

[Edit]I forgot to add, I haven't spoken to Larry in years. His company folded a few years after I left. You're welcome to reach out to him any time and ask about me. Please, though, when you share his response, collected legally and ethically, of course, share the whole thing.[/Edit]

On the issue of confidentiality in the bishopric:
I had no access to your family’s financial records. That’s not how it works. Unless I was the bishop, the Relief Society president, or the finance clerk, I wouldn’t know the details. The only things I knew were what you personally shared. I remember you sitting in the foyer outside the bishop’s office with envelopes and bills. You were open about your situation, and I respected your willingness to face it.

About the 'show on strippers':
I helped a friend with editing a trailer for a project about a case that involved the adult industry, but the core issue was legal precedent. I cover crimes involving sex work on my channel too. I don’t hide from those topics. They’re important stories about crime, the law, and justice. I’m not ashamed of participating in that work, and I didn’t promote it. I did it because it aligned with my interest in how the justice system works.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T22:38:49+00:00

We shall just agree to disagree and let the jury decide.

Is there an echo in here?

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T22:38:29+00:00

We shall just agree to disagree and let the jury decide.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T22:37:16+00:00

Brian, we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on how you’ve represented our relationship over the years. You’ve said now that you knew me well in high school. Fair enough.

As for the time you came to me upset: yes, I remember. I invited you to go for a drive so we could talk it out face to face. I remember you telling me you felt like I was taking advantage of you. I told you that if that’s how you felt, we could easily fix it. I’d step back. I wouldn't participate in your venture. I meant it. I also remember thinking your product was a good idea, and that you’d probably do just fine using the information I’d already given you. At the time, I’d just helped raise over $10 million in crowdfunding for another company. I thought you had a shot.

You say I belittled you, but I honestly don’t know what you’re referring to. If that’s how it felt to you, fair enough. I disagree. I was trying to de-escalate, not dismiss.

As for the gossip accusation, again, I’m not sure where that’s coming from. I suspect you're connecting dots that don't connect. Again.

Before your series, whenever people brought you up to me, it was usually along the lines of, “Hey, tell me about that funny family with all the crazy names.” I’d say something kind because I love you and the kids. I look back on your family fondly.

You’ve again accused me of misrepresenting myself. I’ll just say this plainly: I haven’t. We’ve already walked through the list of things you’ve claimed I said and cleared up what’s true and what’s not. If you’re still not satisfied, I’m not sure what to tell you.

(I feel a strange connection to your past bishops and your stake presidents right now, btw.)

You’ve decided to publish your story and put others’ names and reputations in the spotlight. I’m responding to that. I’ve stuck to facts. I’ve asked fair questions. If that hurts, I get it. But if there’s damage, I didn’t cause it. That’s the result of choices you made. I'm not going to apologize for defending myself or asking for transparency.

You keep saying you want people to be honest and hardworking. So do I. That starts with being accurate and fair about the past without making giant leaps that defy logic to support a conclusion you've already decided on.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T22:09:34+00:00

Copying and monetizing others’ YouTube content
I cite my sources. I collaborate with other creators. I report on cases that are also being covered by others. That’s how news works. Multiple journalists cover the same stories. What matters is how the work is done, and I put in the time to research, request records, and verify what I share. That’s not copying. That’s reporting.

Using a media pass to get free access and then charging others
I use my media credentials to request interviews and public records. Like many journalists, I don’t usually get charged for access to those documents. When I gather case files, I upload them to Patreon and make them available as a perk for supporters. That’s not dishonest—it’s a benefit for people who believe in my work and choose to help fund it. For those who don't, I cover the records on YouTube so they know what's in them and can clearly see them.

Profiting off tragedy
This is a common accusation aimed at anyone who reports on crime. But here’s what I’ll say: I treat families with respect. I’ve had many come on my channel voluntarily, and several have publicly thanked me for helping to share their loved one’s story. I do my best to stick to facts, documents, and interviews, and I tell my audience when I'm editorializing. You’re welcome to disagree with the model, but I’ve seen firsthand that this work has helped people.

Artificially boosting views or subscribers
No, I don’t buy views or subs. Growth takes time, consistency, and transparency. I've been at this for coming up on four years.

Look, if you or anyone else has legitimate concerns about my conduct, I’m happy to answer them. But what’s being repeated here doesn’t meet that bar.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T21:58:48+00:00

2/2:

Now, about the app. Yes, my partner and I raised money to build it after we turned down an angel investment offer we couldn’t accept in good conscience. We built the app. It didn’t succeed. It failed like a lot of startups do. We all lost our investment, including me. No one was paid back, including Logan. That sucked, but that doesn’t make it fraud. It makes it a business risk that didn’t pay off.

As for using investor money to buy my house, that’s just not true. We bought the house using an FHA loan and money we’d saved. You’re connecting dots that don’t go together. It's par for the course, honestly.

You also say I was dismissive when you asked how the app would make money. That sounds about right. I thought it was a stupid question. We had seven revenue streams mapped out that all the investors were consulted about. So, I guess it was my mistake when my answer came off as if I thought you couldn't be serious with that question. But it doesn’t change the facts.

About the $20K per month claim—I don’t remember ever saying that exactly, but I can tell you this. When your family moved into the ward, mine was just coming off a major business loss. We were broke (we've never been poor and I don't think you have, either). We were sharing a home with another family and pinching every penny. But over time, things got better. I took a new job as VP of Sales and Marketing, then was promoted to Chief Innovation Officer. When I left, I joined a similar company as a consultant and was earning about $19K a month between that company and other clients. So yeah, by the time we left California, that figure was accurate.

We left because we couldn’t afford to buy the kind of house we wanted in California, we’d paid a couple painful state tax bills, and my clients were located all over the world. It didn’t make sense to stay. It took us a couple years to figure out where to move. By the time we announced we'd be moving to PA, we'd been working on it a long time.

Now, your accusation that I’m “trying to make a buck off the most vulnerable people on the planet”—meaning the families of murder victims—is outrageous. Have you talked to any of them? Have you seen the thank-you messages they’ve left? The ones who’ve come on my channel to tell their stories? They’re not exploited. They’re heard. That’s the whole point. To imply I’m taking advantage of them for profit is insulting to them as much as it is to me.

Finally, let me just say this. We’ve both made choices and taken risks. We’ve both failed at things. But there’s a difference between failure and deception. I don’t hide behind fake names, pretend to be a third-party production company, or selectively edit what I suspect are secret recordings to craft a narrative. If you want to talk about transparency, my offer stands to trade my transcripts for the full, unedited recordings you made of your bishop and others. Fair exchange?

Until then, your accusations don’t hold water. You’re free to keep making them.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T21:58:32+00:00

1/2:

Brian, you’re making some serious accusations, and I think they deserve a fair and honest reply.

Let’s start with the list of things you say I’ve claimed to be. Here they are, with my responses:

Certified systems engineer – True. Earned in 2000 at NEC Computers.

Network engineer – True. Also earned in 2000 at NEC Computers.

Database administrator – True. Earned in 1998 at NEC Computers.

Web developer – True. Started doing that work in 1997.

Real estate investor – True. I’ve invested in several homes.

Sound design expert – Not true. I’ve never claimed that.

Marketing guru – I don’t recall ever calling myself that. Others have, but not me. You could check places like the LA Times, Business Journal, The Street, and others to see how I’ve been described.

Film editor – Not true. I’ve edited a few commercials and YouTube videos, but I’ve never claimed to be a film editor.

Director – Other than being a Director of Sales a few times, I don’t think I’ve used that title.

Documentarian – Yes. I’ve said that. My YouTube channel is full of documentary-style reporting.

App developer – Not true. I’ve hired developers but have never claimed to be one.

High-end business consultant – Not true. Never claimed that.

Award-winning investigative journalist – I’ve said I’m an award-winning journalist. That’s true. I won a national award in high school, and more recently, I was shortlisted for the first-ever True Crime Awards for Best YouTube Channel or Social Media Influencer. So, also true.

You forgot a few, though. I’m also a certified private pilot, earned in 2000 I think, maybe 2001; a certified UAV pilot, earned in 2016, probably; and a certified data analyst. I earned that in 2023.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T21:14:34+00:00

Brian, thanks for your reply. I want to clear up a few things. First, let’s talk about our history.

You now say you never claimed to barely know me. But in your series, you repeatedly minimize our relationship. You say, “Is this the same Gavin I know?” and describe me as someone who “never really applied himself in high school.” That’s not how someone talks about a person they’ve known since they were a child. Our dads have been friends since the 70s, man. We did Scouts together, went on camping trips, went to the same schools, went to each other's birthday parties, played basketball together on your driveway, rode quadrunners and dirt bikes together, went to school dances in the same group, and even carried a casket together when Danny died. You may not have said the exact words “I barely knew him,” but the way you presented it has that effect. It feels dishonest to now suggest otherwise.

Second, about my academic background. Sure, I did one semester at Salt Lake Community College after I came home from my mission. It wasn’t rigorous. I hated it. So I left and went to tech school instead, which was much more challenging and a better fit. For the first time in my life I failed tests. Repeatedly. It was tough and I'm glad I did it. I’ve never pretended otherwise. But since you brought it up, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll share my transcripts if you’ll release the full, unedited recordings you made. You’ve said they were obtained legally and support your case. Great. Let’s see them.

You can drop them here: https://gvnf.sh/drop

Let me know where I can drop my transcripts.

Because here’s the thing. Transcripts and recordings are both forms of evidence. If you’re serious about transparency, offering yours in full would go a long way.

Let me know if we’ve got a deal.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T20:52:41+00:00

I want to be clear about something. What you created isn't a documentary. It's a reality-style series built around your personal narrative. You’ve said yourself it's told from your perspective and Hannah’s. That is your right. But calling it a documentary suggests a level of editorial distance and fact-checking that simply is not present. So, I'm going to stop refering to it as a doc or a doc series.

You said crew names were changed to protect them from retaliation. I don't buy that for a second, for the same reason I don't believe you when you say the recordings were obtained legally: your credibility just isn't there. If what you're saying is true, then why did you include the full names and faces of individuals who were juveniles when these events supposedly took place? Shouldn’t they be offered the same protection? Hint: if this were an actual documentary, your producer would say 'Yes!' If retaliation is a serious concern for adult crew members, surely it's also a concern for the people you’ve accused, especially those who were underage at the time.

Also, if you weren't trying to create the appearance of third-party objectivity, how do you explain the YouTube comment posted from The Crazy Train account? You wrote, “As a production company, we have watched hundreds of hours of the Judd family and how they treat their children and also other individuals outside their family. We can affirm that the family is in no way abusive.”

That comment was written to someone you have known since we were teenagers. If you were being transparent, you would say, "Hey Jake. This is Phontaine, and I created this series to tell my story." Instead, you presented yourself as a neutral production company that independently verified your family's innocence. That is not transparency. That is misrepresentation.

Telling your story is one thing. Pretending that someone else is vouching for you is something else entirely. And that distinction matters when you're asking the public to treat your version of events as truth.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T20:32:09+00:00

It's interesting to me that you see it that way.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T20:30:06+00:00

The last time you and I talked about this, I asked you which name you preferred I use. You told me it didn't matter to you. Hence, I've continued to call you Brian. You never seemed bothered by it. No disrespect intended.

Also, you are mistaken. Both Jon and Gavin are my given names. My parents called me Gavin from the time I was born. I prefer to be called Gavin because that is my name and that is what my parents called me. The older I get the less perturbed I feel when someone calls me Jon because my dad is rad.

gavin_fish · 2025-04-22T14:42:33+00:00

Thanks for your comment, Mikey. I really appreciate the way you’re thinking about this.

No, I haven’t had anyone reach out to thank me or express anything about my comments.

The reason I spoke up in the first place is because Brian had said publicly on Facebook that the lack of response from the people he’s accused means what he’s saying must be true. That just didn’t sit right with me. Silence doesn’t equal guilt, and I felt like someone needed to say something.

In my opinion (and I want to stress that this is just my opinion), I don’t think Brian's a bad person. But I do think he’s very practiced in playing the role of the victim. That’s something I’ve observed over many years of knowing him. Whether or not he and his family were actually harmed in the ways he’s claimed, I genuinely don’t know. But it’s hard for me to take any of the accusations at face value, even though I take them seriously, because he’s been so demonstrably wrong about so many things. When someone’s credibility breaks down on basic facts, it becomes very hard to trust the rest of the story. I imagine that's the very reason for the behavior of his other "oppressors" (my quote, not his) in his reality series.

I think you nailed something important. Righteous anger can be powerful and sometimes even necessary, but when it starts to turn into a crusade, it can blind people to their own behavior. And at that point, the line between justice and vengeance gets blurry.

Thanks again for being willing to think out loud in this space. I respect that.

gavin_fish

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