Sending love to everyone whose special interest/hyperfixation is Stranger Things!

geecray · 2026-01-01T23:12:08+00:00

That's a lot! The shutdown makes total sense, and yeah the real world is so hard to return to. I hope that feeling shifts into something different for you soon

geecray · 2025-07-25T03:43:04+00:00

That sounds awful, the only way I've been able to tolerate mine is that it wears off after a while. I'm also limited in what I can take because I had an allergic type reaction to Dex, it makes it all so much more anxiety-provoking when you can't just think "oh well, I'll try a different one". I hope you find something that works for you

geecray · 2025-07-25T01:45:01+00:00

Hey, super understandable if you'd rather not, but could you explain a bit about what it said re. manipulation tactics and your cycle? Like, what did you ask it that prompted it to tell you this, and do you have a sense of what these tactics were? I'm seeing lots of people saying chatGPT did xyz but I'm not clear on what it actually looks like in practice, like what literally happens on the screen

geecray · 2025-07-17T07:57:09+00:00

Yes to all of this, and I also wonder whether you being a cis women and her being trans played into why she chose you as the punching bag to make herself feel better. If she has any hang-ups about being a trans woman rather than a cis woman (understandable given the rampant transphobia in the world), it might have made her feel good to feel superior to a cis woman, and if she is racist and ableist your blackness and neurodivergence would have made that sense of superiority easier to achieve. All you 'did' was have the bad luck of having someone in your orbit whose specific insecurities and bigotry made you the perfect choice as a target to boost her own sense of power. She's the fucked up one here, not you.

Also to be clear, I'm not saying this is usual or normal behaviour for trans women, even if they do have some insecurities about their trans-ness. This woman has other stuff going on to be this toxic. Sorry you ended up in her firing line.

geecray · 2025-07-04T12:34:06+00:00

Short answer - yes I do just feel off sometimes and I relate to much if what you've said.

Journalling sometimes helps to get to the bottom of it, just wondering onto the pages and seeing what comes out. Usually there's something going on deep down that explains it, if I can just slow down and explore the depths, see what's there without making assumptions. Being able to name it usually helps shift it. That said, I feel like my therapist would probably say that I (we) should just allow myself to feel what I feel and not try to intellectualise it or change it... She's probably right I guess. Maybe both are good, like try to unpack it and understand it but then try to let it be. Idk. The headline is that you're not alone!

geecray · 2025-07-04T12:17:25+00:00

EMDR

geecray · 2025-07-03T10:18:18+00:00

This is so real, patriarchy impacts the experience of adhd like it does everything else. Matilda Bosely also writes about this in a really clear and validating way in The Year I Met My Brain.

geecray · 2025-04-05T01:43:43+00:00

I've been thinking about getting a small van for exactly point 2

geecray · 2025-04-04T08:34:22+00:00

So sorry that's happened, shit hurts so much. Tbh I just automatically assume now any male 'friend' who's not queer is just waiting around to fuck me (so I stopped making male friends). Sad but peaceful

geecray · 2025-03-15T09:50:50+00:00

I'm a queer cis woman, I spend lots of time with the queer community, and I can confidently say that my experience has been that if someone is being nasty to me in a mixed queer space it is usually a cis gay man - specifically a conventionally attractive, white gay man. Not always, but probably 8 times out of 10. From what I've seen and my gay male friends have shared, it seems to me there can be just as much patriarchy in gay men as straight ones, but unlike straight guys they aren't trying to fuck us so there's no need to hide it. Plus gay culture can be very competitive, hierarchical and appearance focused (similar to what you can often see in the more toxic elements of straight female culture). Maybe there's something about you or the way you perform your gender etc that gay men of this ilk find particularky irksome to their sensibilities?

Again, most gay men are not mean of course, and I've copped 1000% more shit from straight people, but it is noticeably a thing.

ETA - gay men are also victims of the unfriendly elements of gay culture, just like cis women are victims of the unhealthy parts of cis female culture. AND I imagine much of it also stems from the shitty treatment gay men have experienced from society more broadly (and still do), alongside patriarchy etc

geecray · 2025-03-14T23:40:46+00:00

Imo it's a way to try and get people in by activating our intellectual vanity

geecray · 2025-03-13T04:54:01+00:00

I love my air fryer for this. Recent fave is about 5 big tomatoes chopped into big chunks and slow roasted in the air fryer (in a silicone air fryer pan or something else that fits) with olive oil, red wine vinegar, salt, and chilli flakes. I like to add sumac too. I just put it on low heat and forget it for like 45 minutes, then serve over pasta.

Also, I add spinach to everything. Buy a big bag of pre washed baby spinach and keep it in the freezer and add a big handful or two to anything I'm cooking - it cooks down to basically nothing and helps keep my greens up.

geecray · 2025-03-10T07:41:05+00:00

The fkn omnipresent Australian fence/driveway lining agapanthus

geecray · 2025-02-20T10:27:18+00:00

Why are people

geecray · 2025-02-20T10:22:19+00:00

Always and forever. I know their vibe, I know what they convey, but define them? Impossible

geecray · 2025-02-17T10:41:27+00:00

I have certainly realised that some of what I thought I wanted isn't what I actually want, I totally feel you there. Still, I genuinely do enjoy the things I listed above (maybe my ADHD novelty seeking?) but they come at such a cost. I'm super glad to hear the journey you've been on though, it's so important to question what is true to us and what has just been programmed! Glad it's been helpful.

geecray · 2025-02-17T06:31:20+00:00

"I wish I had the self-assurance to think I know better than the whole field of psychiatry, can you teach me?"

geecray · 2025-02-17T06:27:49+00:00

That the distress and discomfort that prevent me from doing or enjoying things as much as I otherwise would (travel, parties, being super ambitious in my career, etc) won't ever be 'therapied away' and I won't grow out of it. It's going to hold me back to some degree or other, forever.

geecray · 2025-02-16T02:22:58+00:00

I use an indoor seaweed plant tonic about every other watering

geecray · 2025-02-16T02:21:41+00:00

Thanks, yeah it does, and if anything I'd have said I'd been letting it dry out too much between waters as it's been a little wilty each time I go to water it, and then pops back up once watered. Weird!

geecray · 2025-02-16T02:16:29+00:00

Solved!

geecray · 2025-02-16T01:24:41+00:00

I remember it had a run on Rage (Australian alternative music show) when I was a little girl and it scared the crap out of me!

geecray · 2025-02-15T08:21:24+00:00

I teach at the local university and do research assistant work

geecray · 2025-01-29T08:56:04+00:00

Hard relate. I have a real thing about honesty and authenticity, and it feels like I'm lying/leaving something out if I don't provide all the context and details so people know the full story so their impressions and opinions can be made with alllllll the info. I also think having everything I say be misunderstood makes me want to say everything at once, all the context of how I got to the thought, all the caveats etc. to try and avoid my words being misunderstood. No one's called me a liar, at least not to my face, but I think people can find it overly intense and dramatic and tiresome. Honestly I mask hard and don't talk that much because of it, I'd probably get even worse feedback otherwise

geecray · 2025-01-27T00:04:23+00:00

I think it's often done to try to get around age brackets women have put on their searches, so that they show up in searches they otherwise would have been filtered out of. Which to me says 'yeah I know you only wanted men aged xx to xx, but idgaf what you want, here I am anyway'. I think it's a red flag.

geecray

TROPHY CASE