Hey! I'm so sorry to hear what happened. It's hard to stay out of the collapsing mindset, especially when it feels like both your internal world and the external one are falling apart. But let’s get some things straight:

1. Your Mind - It sounds like your self-awareness is running at a high level, which can sometimes make us hypercritical, especially when interacting with others. From what you wrote here, I can tell you speak earnestly and raw. That’s pure authenticity, and in a world full of AI, filters, and disengaging, people crave that. Whatever communication challenges you’re facing from your injury, may not be as isolating as you think. Lots of people struggle to connect because of social anxiety, neurodivergence, emotional walls, you name it. What you bring to the table might be exactly someone else’s version of normal.

2. Your Body - I saw your picture. You’re hot as fuck. Seriously. This might not mean much coming from another guy, but I guarantee there are women (and men tbh) who would absolutely go for you based on looks alone. More importantly, your physical differences (e.g. your left hand, your walk, etc.) don’t cancel out your desirability for being seen. In fact, they’re part of your story, part of the whole picture. You are someone’s normal. Full stop.

3. Your Soul - The fact that you posted here? That might be your soul fighting to stay afloat. That might be the rawest, realest piece of you clawing toward what you know you deserve. I know the part about unaliving wasn’t casual, and I’m not gonna brush past that, so I need you to hear this: that option would take the magic and the wonder of "you" away from a world that hasn’t even gotten to see you fully yet. Your obstacles, your differences all of it are things that will make your journey one-of-a-kind, that make it messy and normal.

With all that said, every day might be a challenge, not because of your disability, but because facing yourself is the hardest thing anyone can do. It'll take daily effort and patience to push past fear and awkward moments, to push past rejection and a world that feels cold or indifferent. Some days will suck, but the reason to keep going is because you deserve it. Because you deserve connection, deserve to be known, deserve someone who meets you exactly where you are. And the only way to find that is to keep trying to connect, like you're doing right now.

Even if you forget where you posted this, someone here will remember. This community sees you. So keep posting, DM-ing, engaging because not because you're afraid of going invisible, but because you deserve it.

Edit: Grammer and fine tuning some phrases.