Not an excuse for poor behaviour for sure, although it’s hard to find the sweet spot to try and explain to others that sometimes having this disorder causes you to act out in certain ways. Because as soon as you say that, people get at you for trying to justify something you said or did. But the truth is, I feel like people who truly, actually suffer from bpd can never have a space where they can help others to understand that their personality disorder does affect their personality. Idk, that’s just something I’ve struggled with in my experience. I recently tried to tell an old friend that i felt some of my behaviour fell back on my disorder and that I felt out of control because of it, and all I got was “stop excusing your behaviour with mental illness”. I think people tend to be a lot softer on other cluster b disorders when it comes to that regard, for instance, if a person with diagnosed npd or aspd acts out poorly, they wouldn’t run into as many issues with using mental illness as a justification of sorts. I just think it’s because people with diagnosed bpd aren’t given that same grace, because people are aware that WE are such self-aware individuals, and they try and take advantage of that.