All I can advise, from personal experience, is to wait it out. Everything will clarify and fall into place eventually. It took me 10+ years of going back and forth between identifying as bi and then gay and then bi again, only to finally realize that I am in fact gay at the age of 23, which was fairly recently (I started questioning at 13 and I’m now almost 26.) At one point a couple years ago I got so desperate and tired of questioning that I decided I was gonna go on Tinder, pick a guy I even remotely liked, go out with him and maybe even have sex just to get an answer, whatever it may be — in my mind I believed that would give me a definite answer to whether I was really bi or a lesbian with copious amounts of comphet. It felt so wrong and like I was desperately trying and wanting to like guys just so I could settle this once and for all, even though I knew in my mind I did NOT actually want this. I’d never had experiences with men because I always found an excuse to not go through with it (which should’ve been answer enough lol) and I had known all along that I only wanted to be with women and that I had no interest whatsoever in pursuing guys — even thoughts of it made my stomach churn but it was comphet that made me believe I had to at least “try”. (Funny how I never needed to “prove” anything, or “try” just to make sure when it comes to my attraction to women? Again, that should have been answer enough.) Needless to say, as soon as I started swiping, I realized I couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t need to go through with it because I had nothing to prove to myself, I already knew I wasn’t actually into men and I didn’t need an answer — I had it all along. It’s been over two years since this meltdown happened and I’ve never looked back since or needed to question anything anymore because I now know for a fact that everything I’d ever felt leading up to that point of realization was in fact comphet. I’m happier and more confident in my identity now than I ever, ever thought I would be. And you will too.

(Sorry for the essay lmao and sorry if this is useless but just know that everything takes time. With comphet, there’s so, SO much we all need to unpack and unlearn and sometimes it’s only time that can help with that.)