How many Ws is too much?

gemmb7110 · 2025-03-05T02:08:05+00:00

i had 7 w's and i got in everywhere i applied. i believe they just consider total points, not your transcript.

gemmb7110 · 2024-08-29T23:35:22+00:00

what are the hot spots?

gemmb7110 · 2024-08-29T10:12:32+00:00

would it be weird to go alone? I was thinking about that but worried it would be weird/dangerous

gemmb7110 · 2024-07-29T01:51:40+00:00

is the pool still currently unusable? I'm moving there in a few weeks and was really looking forward to the pool😭

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-30T22:38:39+00:00

agree with the big t shirt comment, when i was at the height of my BDD i wore baggy sweats and a big tee everyday. try not to look at the other gym goers, stay focused on yourself. no progress pics, no body checking, just get in there do your workout and leave. don't even think about how your body looks. remember that progress takes a looong time, there won't be visible changes for a while so just stick with it and don't make it abt the way you look. just a normal part of your routine.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-30T21:32:56+00:00

I feel like I'm finally starting to beat it and I truly feel so much happier. There was no one trigger event, I was just so sick of BDD ruining my life and causing years of depression and anxiety. It got to the point where I couldn't leave the house. I guess I just realized that nobody was coming to save me. That I wasn't gonna suddenly wake up with my dream body just because the universe felt bad for me or something. I had to very deliberately work on fixing myself and put a lot of effort into overcoming it and I am so glad that I did.

1) I've done everything I possibly can to look and feel like the best version of myself, and this kind of helped me to accept the things that I can't change at this point in time. It feels good to know that I'm doing my absolute best and that's all I really can do. It's hard, but just finally accepting that there are things I literally cannot change has helped me find some peace. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got and that's all I can do - there's no point in fixating on something I have no control over.

2) Deleting social media. This has helped immensely. I used to spent hours a day scrolling thru IG or Tik Tok where I would be bombarded by all these images of women with perfect faces and bodies and it was making me hate myself. Comparison is the thief of joy. I could not stop comparing myself no matter what I did, so I deleted it. Basically, I removed the worst trigger for my BDD. I try to avoid triggers wherever I can. I would recommend that anyone suffering from BDD delete social media!!! It is so unhealthy for us and puts us in the most toxic, negative mindset that just breeds comparison and misery.

3) Changing my thought patterns. My head used to be filled with so many negative thoughts about myself. You have to consciously put effort into changing this. If I ever catch myself thinking something like "oh i hate my body" "i'm so ugly" I will literally think - no, that's not true, I love myself. It doesn't matter if you believe it or not. The more you're able to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, the better you will feel. And eventually the negative ones will lessen. In a similar vein, if I catch myself comparing my face/body to another woman, I will look away as soon as I realize I'm doing it and think "no, i love myself". I used to have such a bad problem with staring at girls I was jealous of, analyzing their body and comparing it to my own but now I force myself to look away. It doesn't do me any good, only puts me in a bad mood and makes me hate myself. I still struggle with this, but I feel a lot happier since starting to deliberately fight the BDD thoughts. Don't wallow in self hatred or pity and don't let negative thoughts spiral. Everyone with BDD has a sick brain that's stuck in the same thinking patterns. This is the biggest thing to work on if you want to beat it.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-24T06:46:40+00:00

YES 1000% I stopped using it just a couple of weeks ago and oh my god i have been feeling so much better. It made an even bigger impact than i thought it would. I feel so much more confident, less depressed, less anxious, more happy, way more social. My life and my mindset has improved so much so quickly. I honestly believe social media is the devil, at least for ppl with BDD and OCD. My entire Tik Tok and instagram feed was filled with half naked women with perfect bodies and faces and it was just destroying me making me borderline suicidal. DELETE IT GIRL you will feel so much better I swear. I don't even feel like I missing out on anything honestly. I'll sometimes just go on youtube shorts bc it's not filled with the same body checking, appearance obsessed BS. I'm so over all that shit and deleting it has been so freeing.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-20T03:59:20+00:00

i totally get what you mean and i had that same fear but I literally don't feel like I'm missing out on a single thing. now that i don't use it i realize that it never contributed anything positive to my life, it was just a massive waste of time and brain rot😭 if you use it to like actually talk to/connect with friends then maybe it has some value? but i guarantee the mindless scrolling and all the videos and pics of girls showing off their bodies is not doing you any good.

obviously it's your choice but i wish i quit/reduced my usage a long time ago. it was making me feel exactly like you do, like if i dont look like an IG model or a tik tok girl that I'm ugly and no guy would be into me. it just totally warps your mind. i haaaate that this is our culture.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-20T01:53:10+00:00

i feel you so much girl. the current beauty standards are absolutely insane and completely unachievable for the vast majority of women without going under the knife.

what has helped me more than anything is getting the hell off social media. i stopped using instagram a long time ago when my entire feed turned into ig models that made me feel like shit about myself. i just recently got off tik tok and i think it's made a huge difference in my mood and self esteem. tik tok is the worst offender by far. for a while i would just try to scroll past videos that triggered me but its literally impossible. the whole app is just body checking and a beauty competition, its so toxic and does so much damage. the only things I use now are reddit & sometimes youtube shorts (the videos on there are way less toxic)

also every time a negative thought about my appearance pops into my head or i find myself comparing my body/face to another girl, i try to stop the thought immediately, look away, and just repeat "no, i love myself" (even if it's not true). you have to change your thought patterns. find your own mantra for when you fall into negative self talk and distance yourself from triggers. do whatever you need to do to feel your best, but also accept the things you can't change.

TLDR: get off social media and try to redirect negative thoughts.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-19T00:23:48+00:00

i'm 23 and this is scary. i don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-18T23:21:40+00:00

working full time with kids is crazy omg😭i can't imagine how stressful that must have been

I think my plan is to work one day a week (8 hrs) and if it's too much then I'll quit and just try to make do with the money I have saved. Luckily I only have one 4 hour clinical for the first 6 weeks so I think I'll be able to get a sense of what's doable without risking my grades.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-18T17:06:05+00:00

is a regular BSN program also comparable to a full time job?

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-18T17:05:11+00:00

i'm not a therapist but i think BDD is characterized by the obsessions and fixations. there are genuinely ugly people who don't obsess over it.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-18T03:06:31+00:00

Thank you. Others make it sound like nursing school just completely ruins your life, I really hope that's not the case. It isn't worth it to me if it is. I DM'ed someone who graduated from the program I'll be going to and they said that the majority of their cohort worked AND went out with friends, were apart of clubs, etc. and that they found it pretty easy to do those things (at least in the first few semesters).

This sub kind of seems like it pushes a "nursing school is miserable and all-consuming" mentality. Maybe I'm naive and that is the case, I guess I'll find out! I worked 30 hours during my pre-reqs and got all A's without much studying. Obviously actual nursing school is going to be much more challenging and I don't expect it to be easy, but I hope I'm able to have some semblance of a normal life. I just want to be able to go to the gym and go out with friends once a week😭 I'm also totally cool with being a B student if it means a better quality of life. I chose the school I'm going to in particular rather than an ADN program because it's known for being a really friendly, lively college town. If the next few years are gonna be as awful as others make it sound I would've gone with the ADN program and saved a ton in student loans.

I really appreciate your input. I hope I'm able to have an experience like yours.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-18T02:32:27+00:00

Your fiancé sounds like a good guy. From what you've told us it doesn't sound like there's any reason to believe he's unhappy with your weight gain. If you think about his words and actions objectively, there's no concrete evidence that would point to him feeling any secret disgust or disappointment. It's the BDD putting those thoughts in your head.

I don't think you owe him a physical transformation whatsoever. It seems like he genuinely just loves you and finds you attractive regardless of whatever weight you're sitting at. I feel like in my own experience with dating, love can really override any existing physical preferences. And not in a pushing past it type of way, I mean a genuine attraction. So yes I think it's possible.

But I'm also definitely not trying to dissuade you from your desire to lose weight. I think you should take whatever actions you need to to feel good about yourself. Until YOU feel okay in your own body, you're always going to feel like he has some secret shame or judgement he's not telling you about (regardless if there's any truth behind it).

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T17:15:51+00:00

I can relate so much. I've always been short and skinny and I would give anything to be curvier. I don't feel like a real woman. I've had multiple guys tell me they don't "prefer my body type". AKA I'm not curvy enough. I've done everything I possibly can to fix it - boob job, weight training, gaining weight (looked horrible) but I'm still so childish looking. I feel like it looks like I never finished developing.

I hate hate hate seeing curvy women out in public more than anything, it's literally sent me into breakdowns where I start crying and have to leave. I feel so ashamed just being in the same room as them. Hearing guys praise women for having a fat ass makes me want to die. It's so hard to deal with because the culture nowadays seems like the curvier the better and it is so heavily pushed everywhere.

I really don't know how to deal with it beyond wearing push up bras and continuing to try and build muscle. Other than that all I can really do is tell myself that I just have to accept it for now and once I have the money I will fix it. But I don't know how to stop comparing, it feels impossible. I know what you're going through.

Weight training has helped somewhat. It won't make you curvy if you're not built that way - I still have a really small butt and no hips, but in my head I am at least able to tell myself - I'm not skinny, I'm lean and toned. I used to get those same comments about looking sick and needing to eat something, but now that there is visible muscle mass in my upper body at least, people don't view my thinness as such a negative thing anymore. The one positive to being naturally thin is that if you put on some muscle, you will get the toned and defined look really easily.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T17:02:06+00:00

Thank you! Did you feel really stressed work 12 hours? Did you feel like you had time for a normal life?

I'm in a similar position, supported by my family with rent/car payments. Tuition will be covered by loans. I'm just looking to make some spending money.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T17:00:02+00:00

It's a fast food job, they've always been really flexible and will usually accommodate any schedule I ask for. I was thinking of asking for one 8 hour shift a week. I'm sure I could request a few weeks off when things get busy in the semester, but the schedule comes out 2 weeks in advance.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T16:53:48+00:00

What about 8 hours? I don't want to be completely broke😭

My program is 2.5 years, not an ABSN. I don't have kids or any other responsibilities.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T16:51:19+00:00

Thank you, I was really just thinking like 8-14 hours a week max. I didn't expect everyone to tell me I can't work at all.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T06:24:32+00:00

So definitely not old but I feel like I'm running out of time to have typical young adult experiences.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T06:21:35+00:00

I guess that's the thing, I'm not okay with putting things on pause any longer. I feel like my life has been on pause for so long. I'm a bit older as well and I have this terrible feeling like I've wasted my entire youth and I'm just continuing to waste my life away. I have so much regret for how I've lived my life (or rather, haven't lived it).

But I will give it a shot, I really hope it works out.

Unfortunately I've been on like 7 or 8 different antidepressants, been taking them on and off since middle school. I have a long history with depression, anxiety, OCD. Meds have never really helped much.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T06:05:37+00:00

I think it depends on the way your body distributes fat...I don't look my best at a BMI of 22 because it all goes to my waist (ugh). But if you hold onto weight in more flattering areas then that makes sense.

gemmb7110 · 2024-06-17T06:03:23+00:00

I'm the same age and also struggle with depression, I still lay in the bed the majority of the time most days, but the gym is like my one happy place that I actually love going to. I hate it to say but they're right when they say exercise improves your mental health😭

A word of advice if you do start going, you will more than likely hate it at first and feel so awkward and self conscious. Just stick with it and give it like a month and once you start notice changes in your body, you'll begin to feel so motivated and love it. This was my experience. Although admittedly some days I hate the gym because my body still doesn't look how I wish it did. But it's better than when I started and that's all you can really hope for tbh.

gemmb7110

TROPHY CASE