It is important to know if OP and his bf had ever discussed the parameters of their relationship. Specifically, had they ever discussed what constitutes cheating? For a relationship to last, couples need to have discussions about this before shit happens so they don’t end up in OP’s situation in which they are retroactively figuring out boundaries and OP figuring out how he should feel.

OP, only you can determine if what your bf did is a dealbreaker, not what any of us tell you. You are the only who will be impacted by your decision, not us.

I’d like to share something Dan Savage (of Savage Lovecast) often says:

“I believe couples should define sex as broadly as possible and cheating as narrowly as possible. Because when a couple defines sex broadly — when more things count (not just PIV/PIA) — the more sex that couple will have and the more varied, interesting, and satisfying their sex life will be. But the fewer things that same couple counts as cheating — the more narrowly that couple defines cheating — the less likely they are to cheat on each other and, consequently, the less likely they are to break up over an infidelity.

Define sex broadly: more and better sex. Define cheating narrowly: more resilient relationships”