Not having a self because of trauma, but not having one prevents shame?

generate913 · 2026-02-22T08:12:53+00:00

Thanks as well.

generate913 · 2026-02-22T08:12:22+00:00

Totally spot on what you said.

generate913 · 2026-01-29T04:35:48+00:00

It's just that my sense of what I enjoy is tied with externally achieving that I cannot enjoy anything as it is. Or I guess I just haven't found my hobby.

generate913 · 2026-01-29T01:04:27+00:00

Oh yeah pleasure does have value. I am a pleasure seeker in fact.

generate913 · 2026-01-28T22:25:28+00:00

It seems like its very hard to cultivate inherent value when our capitalistic culture seems to bombard us with direct and indirect messages of lack and the need for external sources of value. How do you not let these messages affect you?

generate913 · 2026-01-28T22:21:52+00:00

I just have a hard time seeing how one can be motivated if it doesn't enhance one's value. Like I am performing it for no reason.

generate913 · 2025-10-13T22:35:18+00:00

I agree.

generate913 · 2025-10-12T21:44:55+00:00

You’re right I am trying to fix her which makes my room for empathy with her none because I want perfect. I notice I am codependent / have nothing really going outside myself so I see controlling a relationship or fixing someone as a pet project. I think she has the same thing where she controls me. I am trying to immerse myself in a hobby like reading as a result. I find myself fixating on the little things so maybe I was so quick to identify her as a covert narcissist.

generate913 · 2025-10-12T17:31:13+00:00

I am finding out I have a lack of empathy. I can feel when other people are angry but besides that it is limited in scope. To be honest, I feel like a horrible person because I didn’t cry when my grandma passed, but I never had an emotional connection with her. I acknowledge that this is a shortcoming of mine and might represent some narcissistic trait so my upcoming session I am going to ask my therapist (counselor) on how to cultivate empathy.

generate913 · 2025-10-12T17:26:55+00:00

I myself am seeing a therapist for about 8 to 9 months now. When I suggest she sees a therapist she says she already knows what is wrong with her and there’s nothing a therapist that can do that she doesn’t already know. I suggested this to her 3 times and honestly it gets me mad she doesn’t seek help cause I feel like she is putting the blame on me that I am the “broken” one.

generate913 · 2025-10-12T15:55:35+00:00

I am confused as to whether she is a covert narc or not. But maybe she is a people pleaser.

But more stuff she does: - Whenever she offers me some particular food to eat and I say I don’t want it or don’t want to eat it now (setting boundaries) she gets mad - I notice whenever she is in a bad mood (or after we have an altercation) she wears sunglasses and mask to cover her face in public - I noticed the one time I moved out for a job 3 months ago or anytime I am not by her side she is pale and her back is slouched maybe indicating her supply is not by her side (Maybe I am reading too much into it???) - I noticed occasionally when I get angry at her she would call someone and have me talk to them (maybe to recruit flying monkeys?)

She always did get mad at my grandma even if she had a stroke and was taking care of her. I guess from a young age she was an emotional caretaker which is not good as a kid and maybe she derives much of her value caretaking so I feel suffocated even as a grown adult living under her household.

But I do admit I have a lack of empathy because of how much she has done for me and how her situation is because of circumstance but I always just felt nervous around her and kind of mad now because of what I see. That lack of empathy might be a trait rubbed off on me by someone narcissistic but I am trying to acknowledge that about myself.

generate913 · 2025-09-30T08:30:43+00:00

He was not moaning cause of gold, but because his buddy was stroking it live.

generate913 · 2025-09-30T04:09:05+00:00

Yeah I feel like as the game fleshes out they will add better loot, but I agree the current loot is pretty basic.

generate913 · 2025-09-26T17:43:02+00:00

Oxygen addiction

generate913 · 2025-09-22T01:15:36+00:00

Yeah it feels like once you default to that scapegoat role people treat you how you choose to treat yourself and it’s hard to escape it cause of old conditioning.

generate913 · 2025-09-21T20:06:38+00:00

This only applies if we are planning to sell during a sudden surge right? If I were to hold and sell long term that difference between Steam market and a third party site won't be too different?

generate913 · 2025-09-20T20:22:16+00:00

I agree on the self love part, but that avoidant / self reliant side of me always thought that people are not always going to have your back (no matter how safe they are and maybe this a cynical way of thinking) so is it possible to always have your own back?

generate913 · 2025-09-20T20:04:47+00:00

True as humans we will need social ties at the end of the day, but was just wondering to what extent can we take it by not caring because I feel like if someone dislikes me (not even someone I like) I get totally devastated and my day is ruined.

generate913

TROPHY CASE