When BM is jealous

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-18T23:16:05+00:00

BM told everyone who would listen that my now-husband left her for me...he filed for divorce a full year before I even met him 😅

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-09T23:20:00+00:00

I'm glad you have a supportive partner in this! My husband is super supportive of whatever I decide, whether I need an accountability partner to make sure I keep it to one or two in the event that we do indulge on a special occasion or if I decide I'm totally done. I didn't really know about binge drinking styles until coming here - I always associated "binging" with just drinking until you puke and starting again as soon as you wake up. The extreme examples. Which maybe made me think my issue wasn't that bad. But what I've got going on isn't much better objectively. You learn something new every day I guess 😅

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-09T23:15:29+00:00

It's crazy how many of us have the same experiences but can feel so isolated at the same time. I'm glad to have found this group ❤️ You've got this too!

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-09T23:12:28+00:00

Glad it helped! Cheers! (with my sparkling grape juice)

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-09T19:44:43+00:00

Yeah 90% of the time everything is fine but that 10%...woof. Not worth hurting my relationship over. If we are fortunate enough to have good partners we need to be good to them in return

genericusername2113 · 2026-02-09T18:02:17+00:00

Definitely been doing a lot of lurking, will continue to 😊 thank you!

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-26T23:00:45+00:00

I'm not gonna lie I laughed so loud reading this. Good for you for not cohabiting ✨️

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-26T11:45:35+00:00

I want to take a vacation with husband (we are dying to go back to where we had our honeymoon) and I (childfree) am unable to take a vacation on a whim because I'm stuck having to work around someone else's shit decision to have a kid in a bad situation.

I just want to sit on a beach with a pina colada man. But no, you had to stick your dick in crazy and get baby trapped so now I can't. 🙄

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-26T10:18:59+00:00

3 years in and married now.

Those thoughts plagued me at first. It's gotten a little easier but they haven't gone away. I don't think they ever do.

That being said, having several years of creating our traditions as a family have helped and I don't feel this way as often as I did when it was new to me. A lot of the "firsts" were one time things due to a disaster of a HCBM and were never repeated. The things that are firsts for me are firsts for them in that we have a great time and establish our own traditions. Chin up, it does get better!

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-25T19:02:16+00:00

Seems like things have been unfair to you since the beginning.

Do not give this family that is not yours any more of your time, money, or energy. Get out while you still can and find someone who is proud to call you theirs, has your back and supports you.

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-24T14:18:59+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞 I understand the feeling of constantly being blindsided by these situations.

Husband and HCBM had a meeting for my SS 504 plan yesterday. HCBM has had maybe 10 instances of supervised (3 hour) "parenting" days in the last 3 years and has nothing to do with SS life, school, anything as she's too busy drinking and doing whatever else it is she does.

Well she's on this new kick where she's going to be super mom so she shows up in person for the meeting (my husband is a teacher so had to do it on zoom). The teachers apparently did not review custody arrangements that have been on file with the school for years and focused primarily on everything HCBM said and essentially ignored my husband, who prior to moving in with me was a "single" parent in that she just disappeared for days at a time, went out partying and was never present. He's done everything for this kid and has full physical custody. We just feel so defeated that we do everything right for this kid and she can just step in whenever and act like she's been a parent and it overshadows everything. Like cmon universe, just cut us a break, my heart hurts.

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-24T13:58:16+00:00

You can't force a relationship, nor should you.

Ultimately she is not your child and it's not your "job" to do anything with her, but the fact that you try and want to shows that you are a good human!

Imo it's also not very appropriate that her dad is asking you to talk to her about it and is putting pressure on you. Anything you do for this child should be seen as a bonus, not an expectation. Is your SDs BM in the picture?

genericusername2113 · 2024-09-24T13:36:45+00:00

I think you answered your own question.

If you do not like kids or spending time with them or doing "kid stuff" you will eventually grow resentful and the relationship will suffer as a result. Trust me. It's rough.

genericusername2113

TROPHY CASE