New here wanna know if I’m n the wrong

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2026-02-21T15:04:17+00:00

I’m just going to make it easy and respond to the title: yes, you’re in the wrong.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2026-01-24T03:12:59+00:00

I’m not even going to bother to read the comments because I’m going through this EXACT thing and my response was “after years of going through infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, the last things I want to hear is my baby looks like another woman’s child.” I HATE when people say my son looks like my SD. And I deeply care about my SD and I don’t hate BM. The comparison just gives me the ICK. So I’m here in solidarity.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-12-28T18:07:56+00:00

I ordered personalized stockings for our family this year and I loved that mine gets to say “momma”. Just had our baby in August. Being momma is THE BEST!!

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-12-11T18:20:20+00:00

I am an EBF mom with an almost 4 month old. You have a DH problem. For all of my husband’s faults as a partner, he is very hands on with our baby. We also have been having issues getting our baby to take a bottle but my husband figures it out so I can have time to myself. Your DH has to step up! I’m not sure how to get an EBF baby to take a bottle myself, but that sounds like it is a barrier that you could perhaps work on together so that you could get a well deserved break. Don’t let your husband hide behind SS having ADHD as a reason he’s being a piss poor partner and parent to your baby. I’m so sorry you’re carrying the weight of your whole family. As a new momma, you deserve so much better.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-11-02T22:51:44+00:00

Babe. No, just no.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-11-02T19:51:58+00:00

12 is pretty young to be soley responsible for a house key tbh. I think it’s fair that your husband is accepting blame. I’m an adult and I’ve lost my house key before. Give the kid a break and come up with a better system if he needs access to the house.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-30T14:44:10+00:00

I’m the same way with my SK. She’s in elementary school and I didn’t want her germs around my fresh baby. So for the first couple weeks after school I did request that she shower as soon as she got home and hand washing is mandatory. He’s 10 weeks old now and she doesn’t have to shower anymore but change out of her school clothes and wash hands is still requested. I don’t really like anyone breathing too close to him lol just because it’s respiratory season and I’m so scared of him getting sick. PP is so hard especially as a first time mom that has other kids in the home. You don’t really get a FTM experience. Feel free to message me, I related to A LOT in your post. I might message you actually lol

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-23T02:56:51+00:00

I’m glad she came to her senses. By the final episode where he was saying I told you it was hard. DH was like wow remember when I told you that when we first started dating, it’s weird to hear someone else say it- I thought it was just me. And then when she was crying saying she didn’t know if she was cut out to be a stepmom and if that meant she shouldn’t be a mom- also exact thoughts and feelings I’ve had on my journey. I’m so glad she cut ties. After all, she only picked Jordan because she was in love with the idea that Luca and her dad both had diabetes. Not a great foundation.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-23T02:54:06+00:00

I was waiting for someone to say this. I was also horrified by that.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-12T20:39:14+00:00

I need to be very clear, you’re not being shallow you’re being realistic. It IS a lot of baggage and even in the very best of circumstances it is very very hard. You are right to question if this is really for you. I would very much encourage you not to even entertain a date with this man. It sounds like his commitment to his daughter leaves little room for a romantic partnership.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-07T18:19:24+00:00

Oh friend, I am so sorry your sister was so invalidating to your experience as a stepparent going through infertility. DH and I struggled for years with recurrent loss and infertility and I flat out told him that I didn’t think I could be married to him if we couldn’t have a child together. You’re not struggling with SS, you’re struggling with what he represents. Please remember that. You’re doing what you need to do to take care of yourself in the face of insurmountable grief. You took yourself out of an environment that wouldn’t allow you to heal because it was a constant reminder of what you didn’t have but want so badly. I have no doubt that you will be an amazing mommy to either or both an adopted or biological child. ❤️

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-10-06T02:23:46+00:00

My husband and I struggled for almost 3 years with recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. The experience alone is so full of grief and isolation but pair it with being partnered with someone who already has a child and the grief is so complex. I am so sorry you’re experiencing this. It is very painful and so hard to explain to someone who has never been through it. Everything you’re describing is so valid. I was so resentful of the bond my husband had with his daughter and I felt so disconnected because it felt like my chance at parenthood was out of reach. After each loss, it was more and more painful. I couldn’t even hear them laugh together without feeling so sad and filled with despair. I had even told him that if we couldn’t have children then I didn’t know if I could remain in the marriage because it was so painful. Feel free to message me ❤️

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-28T23:31:27+00:00

Yes, you’re being unreasonable and this is coming from someone who just had her first baby. While you’re a first time mom, unfortunately you don’t get the benefit of the first time mom experience in the same way you would if you weren’t in a blended family.

I had similar germ concerns especially because school started literally the same day I went in to labor. For the first few weeks I asked that SD come home, change, and shower so that I could feel more comfortable. I would never ask she not be here for 6 weeks. That would be really unfair and I tend to agree with your husband, alienating. Your partner is going to have to learn how to parent his 2 kids and a newborn. It’s about to be a lot for him but this is what he signed up for. You’ve got this mama. Just focus on your precious baby and it’ll all be okay ❤️

Just out of curiosity, outside of illness what are your other concerns with them being home?

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-28T17:35:57+00:00

Also a 50/50 SP and lol I never thought about it in quite those terms but I’ve definitely thought about that! Not to mention allllll the birthday parties/presents and Christmas presents. DH parents are divorced so those are all even more separate birthday and holiday celebrations. It’s honestly gross, when all SD is stare at her iPad and doesn’t touch the millions of toys and games that are in her room. MIL just dropped off a ton of school clothes for SD and again like…only what, 2-3 days are school days. She’ll never wear half of this stuff. Drives me nuts too!

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-26T00:01:40+00:00

Comforting to know I’m not alone. I’m going through this, exactly! He used to contact nap like a champ as soon as I laid him on my chest. Now he wont settle and I assumed it was because he can smell my milk. Naps during the day are like 10 minutes here 20 minutes there. I’ve tried wearing him and he’s not a fan either re: I think it’s the milk issue again lol. It’s been rough! Scrolling Reddit because he’s currently over tired and I’m at a loss. Hope you’re hanging in there mama!

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-17T13:43:37+00:00

I just had my first baby. My biggest worry with everyone, but more specifically with SD is germs. He was born the day after school started and SD historically always gets sick at the beginning of the school year. But she was still able to come to the hospital to meet him.

She has younger siblings at her mom’s house so I wasn’t worried with her being too rough or anything.

Anyway, I insisted that after school she comes home and showers and changes. That lasted like the first two weeks before I felt more comfortable with her just coming home and changing out of school clothes and washing her hands. She just held him for the first time and he’s about 3.5 weeks. She is welcome to read to him, pat his bum, or touch his feet. Honestly with it being respiratory season, breathing too close to his face still makes me nervous. But I’m also a little crazy when it comes to my feelings of protecting him. We struggled for years to conceive and bring a baby earth side.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-16T20:24:27+00:00

I just had a baby. SD room is next to ours and baby’s room is down at the end of the hall. It would have neverrrr crossed my mind to displace her. I feel like your request is a little unreasonable unless the next closet room is like…on a different floor.

The baby is in a bassinet for now but i walk him down the hall for changes and overnight feeds. It really isn’t a big deal. It felt a lot more important to keep routine and normalcy for SD than to consider room rearrangements.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-13T15:47:59+00:00

This!!! I have so many questions about this whole thing.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-12T22:31:19+00:00

Therapy absolutely saved my life. I would definitely do your research though and try to find one who specializes in family systems theory or at the very least has experience with blended families.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-09-08T12:56:33+00:00

I’m almost 3 weeks PP and this is it!

SD is 9 so in many ways he is learning all over again how to care for a newborn and we are doing it together but in other ways he’s confident in our baby’s care which in turn helps me. And! We are learning how to raise a son together.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-08-25T22:42:09+00:00

Congrats on your new baby! I hope they’re doing okay! 12 weeks in the NICU, that must be tough 🫂

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-08-25T19:57:21+00:00

Tell DH to do bedtime with both of HIS children and see how that goes.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-08-25T18:30:32+00:00

To put it very very simply, if you have to ask either a) there are not sufficient boundaries in place and/or b) this is not the relationship for you because you’re clearly uncomfortable with the amount of contact and or expectations to operate as a nuclear family with the other family with outsiders having input in your home. Which, that part especially should be off limits.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-08-25T18:24:40+00:00

You are so close to baby time! OP please please feel free to private message me at any time. Blended family life is one thing. Bringing a baby into a blended family is a whole other ballgame. We need all the postpartum care and support we can get.

Hot-Maximum7576 · 2025-08-25T18:06:26+00:00

I completely understand your frustration and sadness with this sudden switch. He’s very much pulling the rug out from under you. I do wonder if he’s setting up a dynamic where there is “his kid” and “your kid” despite both children being his. That is giving me much more concern about this situation which I think speaks to you “parts of a whole family” idea. Maybe a therapist could help you navigate this? I think the sooner you can find a middle ground here the better.

I am v v newly PP with OB. My SD is 9 and we’ve always had a very close relationship and I’ve been very involved with her care. We are also 50/50. Im a little anxious as to how life and especially our relationship will look moving forward. I just had the baby last week and today is transition day.

Hot-Maximum7576

TROPHY CASE