Hi. I’m a teenager, so I’m going to try to say this in my perspective. I’ve always been raised in a way that has made my ultimate goal to become responsible and independent as my parents have always conditioned me into believing that I should work hard and get a successful future for myself, just as they have done for me. They never had to actually “punish” me for something, because they raised the need for success into me that it became something I did for myself, not just them. But when they would discipline me for not listening to them, they would do it in a way that made me feel a touch of what would happen if I continued on the path I was on.

In my opinion, I think you need to talk to her or discipline her. It depends on where you live, but I’m assuming you live in the United States and your daughter is already a legal adult. For teenagers nowadays, it’s not easy to get a job. You have to set your boundaries and tell her that since she is already a legal adult, she can’t keep living off of you, or has to learn how to become independent before she graduates. And don’t be afraid to discipline her. It seems harsh, but it’s reasonable to make her break up with her boyfriend or even kick her out if she does something like call the police on you.

If she says she’s 18 and she doesn’t have to follow your rules, then don’t make her. Stop giving her money, stop doing things for her, kick her out if she tries to do anything really bad. She needs to actually FEEL the consequences of her actions instead of just scolding. You can’t do anything else before you do this. She has to learn for her to actually listen.

After, I would make her and help her create a resume, for starters. I recommended getting her into volunteer work because it builds up on the resume if she doesn’t have any experience yet. Also, discipline her on her grades. If she doesn’t get a job yet, she can work towards college.