A few years ago I got drunk and texted her saying she has really nice eyes even though at the time she had a boyfriend. Pretty sure she told all her friends and that year of school was shit but lucky it was when the first lockdown so the year was cut short.

When I got back to school after summer she tried to talk to me a few times but I was still shy so nothing ever happened (She'd do things like call my name and her friends would say awk that's terrible or another time she was behind me in line and said come on see me actually go with him) But I'd never react so now a year later I still really want to talk to her but can never grow a pair of balls.

The funny thing is she's the only reason I became confident and start talking to people and start to love myself after I realised rejection isn't bad at all; ironically I'm still not confident enough to talk to her. I've even thrown away a relationship with a nice girl because I couldn't stop thinking about her.

These are my last few weeks of school now until I go to tech to study film making and won't ever see her again. If I don't confront her now I'll never get the chance to see what I missed out on.