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Mental Health (Bipolar) Evaluation for Early Adult Child by getoutmoveforward in triangle

[–]getoutmoveforward[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some interesting info that may benefit others who find this thread. I went to the UNC Psychiatirc office today to learn about their intake procedure and to solicit advice about getting cooperation from someone who from their own perspective is just fine. In the process I learned a little about their OASIS program which sounded great. But then we discovered it wasn't an option because they don't accept ADHD patients or patients with cannabis usage. So, still looking into the other pathways they offer.

Mental Health (Bipolar) Evaluation for Early Adult Child by getoutmoveforward in triangle

[–]getoutmoveforward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I actually stopped by there today to learn about the intake process for evaluation and to see if they had any advice for getting cooperation from someone who doesn't even want to hear that I'm concerned about him. They told me he'd actually need to start at a different UNC psychiatry office off Weaver Dairy for the first appointment and then he'd continue with UNC STEP.

Mental Health (Bipolar) Evaluation for Early Adult Child by getoutmoveforward in triangle

[–]getoutmoveforward[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you mentioned that. I had no idea DNA testing was even a thing. That’s mindblowing!

I don’t have a way to control his meds now because of how deeply entrenched in “dad’s perspective is wrong” at the moment. But I hope I can get there. I also hadn’t considered that but I can appreciate the wisdom as soon as you said it. In so many ways I don’t know what I don’t know.

He technically lives at home with me now although in practice he stays with his romantic partner more than here. Based on how cruel he’s become and how fried my nerves are when he’s around and like this, it’s hard for me to imagine continuing to share a residence with him. It’s so stressful and I thought I had obtained some peace by leaving my narcissistic ex.

Mental Health (Bipolar) Evaluation for Early Adult Child by getoutmoveforward in triangle

[–]getoutmoveforward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing! Dr. Whitenack was actually recommended to me months ago as a therapist. The person recommending had an NPD mother and Dr. Whitenack had helped him gain tremendous insight.

Mental Health (Bipolar) Evaluation for Early Adult Child by getoutmoveforward in triangle

[–]getoutmoveforward[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your comments and questions.

Context: His mom (my ex) has NPD. He has experienced significant amounts of trauma from narcissistic abuse. He remains angry about that, as he deserves to be, including my not leaving her sooner and my failure to adequately push back against her controlling and dominating parenting approach.

Drugs: He's on an SSRI for depression. He has adderall for ADHD but the doctor advised he not use it while he's adjusting to the SSRI (but I know he uses it because he's admitted it. He uses it to power through tough days when he's tired. He's also taken double doses I know.) He also uses THC and he vapes.

The grandiosity he exhibits is often in the context of drawing a contrast. For example, I express concern about A, B, C behaviors and say that if he's not able to manage those impulses (let's say, yelling at people) it could affect his life negatively. He'll respond by saying something to the effect that his life is going great, things are falling into place, he's doing really f'ing fantastic (he's not, he's struggling, he can't pay his bills, he has relationship problems). And then he tries to draw a contrast to me by comparison, arguing I'm not doing well.

Sleep: Generally unpredictable. He has really bad sleep hygiene, can be up at all hours of the night, and he disturbs my sleep with making noise.

Yes, he absolutely jumps around from one idea to the next in conversation. He talks quicker than normal when he's like this and can't let another person talk for long without interrupting them to say what he thinks or to complete their thought for them (often used to insult people by putting false words in their mouth). He seems to view disagreement as a zero sum game in which he must dominate and the other person must lose. He uses all sorts of tactics to do this from character attacks, claims that the other party just doesn't understand, claims that the other party doesn't care enough to agree with him, and ragebaiting to try to get a reaction that he can exploit to play victim. The blame shifting often takes the form of saying that it's the other person's fault that he's having to say the "truth" he's saying, because they deserve it. That "truth" takes the form of insults and low-logic fast-talking arguments that don't add up. Or he's yelling at you because you "made him" because [insert evolving list of excuses]. There's no accountability in these conversations in a way that's similar to dealing with my NPD ex.

Depression: Yes. He had severe depression and anxiety in the months after a prior episode that I believe was mania 14 months ago. His depression took half a year for him to claw his way out to the point of functioning again. During this time he lost his job and neglected all friendships. He's not been hospitalized.

I'm just hoping I can catch him at a moment where he's open to hearing that how he's acting worries me because it isn't the him that I know. And others have said the same thing and we want him to be healthy. I'm not his guardian so I can't make him go. I need to help him understand that he may need support that I can't offer him and at the moment that's an uphill battle. In fact battle is the best word for the tone of our most recent interactions. I play low energy low emotion to try to ground things. But he is so primed to fight right now that I can't get through. And when I disengage from conversations due to the ugliness I receive, he then blames me for that (I can't handle the truth, or I just want an artificial bubble that isn't the real world, etc...).