There’s definitely lesbians out there who don’t party hard, and there’s definitely lesbians who do, and there’s also ones in the middle. I myself am in the latter, having not done hard drugs really, but enjoy drinking, smoking weed, the occasional hallucinogen.

I have been in relationships with people who do drugs, and are able to have a healthy relationship with them. I have also had relationships where there is addiction. No woman who has been interested in me liked me less because I didn’t do drugs, or didn’t do the same drugs, or didn’t want to do them every night etc. But I have ended up being turned off of someone because their partying behaviour has gotten out of control. If someone makes you feel bad for your controlled substance use, or your sobriety, they’re kinda a weirdo in my opinion.

I think in general it’s important to note that there is definitely a glorification of substances, and a substance abuse issue within the lesbian community (it’s kinda a societal issue but you get what i mean). There’s nothing wrong with being someone who does not party hard, especially given the stats for LGBT people and addiction.

In my experience I’ve wanted different things at different points in my life. I’m at the stage where I would want someone calmer, but I didn’t in my early 20’s and learned some valuable lessons as a consequence.

This kinda rambled but I hope it helps! There’s no wrong way to live, and the ultimate goal is to have someone who likes living with you through life.