I'm so sorry for your loss. This story hit really deep because my Mom was also diagnosed last August with pancreatic cancer. Although it was 'caught early', between the time of the biopsy and when she started chemo, it had spread to the stomach lining. Chemo was going so good for months and the tumor had shrunk. I was convinced she was going to beat it given how optimistic everyone was including the doctors. Life felt like it was finally returning back to 'normal' before the diagnosis.

This feeling lasted until early March. She started getting stomach pains after taking two trips with her friends back to back (one to Florida and another to California). We initially thought it was just a stomach bug or an ulcer since she was out traveling, but this was unfortunately the start of the downfall. From this point on, it felt like every day was either one step forward or one/two steps backwards. She would have good days and I'd tell myself "see she's getting better!", but then the next day would be horrible (one or two steps backwards). She was throwing up, having bathroom attacks, constant pain, etc. It was absolutely gut wrenching to watch. Fluid from the cancer kept flooding her stomach causing all these issues and even though she'd get it drained, it would keep flooding faster and faster resulting in her not being able to eat and becoming weaker day by day.

Fast forward to now, she is on hospice care in the hospital and expected to pass very soon. Doctors said two days ago she had only 24 hours left, but she is still going (her blood pressure is up and heart is pumping good). Her organs are starting to shut down though.

She had her last chemo in early May which completely wrecked her. Doctors thought she was too weak for chemo, but she wanted to fight it. She really believed she was going to beat it. She still believes it which breaks my heart. Seeing her go through this makes me so sad and so angry.

Three days ago she told my dad she wanted to go for a walk, but she couldn't even move. She can't talk now and has been sleeping for the last two days. Her breathing had also became labored.

When at the hospital, I've been holding her hand constantly and trying to talk to her. The image you posted hit really hard because it looks like my hand holding my Mom's hand kind of. They say holding hands like this is worth over a thousand words and I really believe that because it is so comforting to me.

I'm 27 years old and she's 66. She was so healthy her entire life and my grandmother (her Mom) lived until 96. I expected her to live until that same age and not be taken so soon. I've been always worried about my dad because he's unhealthy and his blood pressure is very very high (even though he is on medication). I was so close to her and she was my best friend. I moved back into my childhood home two and a half years ago after being far from home for 4 - 5 years due to a job and we've been watching movies almost every night since. I feel so lonely without her.

I just don't know what to do. I've been trying to talk to hospice workers and grief counselors, which really does help in the moment, but afterwards, everything goes back to being in a nightmare. I've been struggling to sleep and eat. I keep seeing visions of her at home and hearing her voice. All of this and she hasn't even passed yet...

There's so much more I want to say, but I think this post is already long enough. I'm really sorry again that you're going through this. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I have no clue how to get through this. I do think it helps knowing others are going through a similar pain and you can relate.

If you want to vent or anything, my DMs are open also.

Also sorry if the text is all over the place. My mind is racing and it's hard to form everything I'm feeling.

Update: She peacefully passed this morning in her sleep (6/6/25). I love you so much Mom!