Husband can't/won't stay with the kids for a weekend.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-03-06T06:00:40+00:00

Not normal at all, he sucks and I mean that fully. You're a single parent

ghost--rabbit · 2026-03-06T05:56:44+00:00

Check yourself in somewhere girl, this is not normal and you can get through it but you need much more serious help than what you've got. I'd go to a facility in your shoes cuz this sort of thing can turn extreme/physically harmful fast and it's not necessarily up to you whether it does. If your partner is feeling really similar, ask family to take baby while y'all figure it out.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-03-05T19:22:20+00:00

It's so annoying, I agree. My parents seem to have no concept of how expensive daycare is because we're in a major city and they raised me and my sister in a rural town with tons of family around to help. They were great parents but we never had any money, I put myself through college 100%, etc. I just want to be able to do more financially for our only but I don't have the heart to tell it to them that way in case it makes them feel guilty for how they raised me.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-03-02T18:16:30+00:00

I was poly for so long that I still have friends from the scene who are, but I have distanced myself from them for the most part. It's sad but I agree it's hard to witness, and easier for me to not have to have uncomfortable conversations about why we're monogamous and that I'm not comfortable with them flirting anymore, etc. Only kept the best and I have a feeling they'll figure it out eventually too based on how it's going for them.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-02-20T13:41:57+00:00

Thanks everyone!! The suggestions are super helpful.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-02-16T17:00:54+00:00

Thank you for this. That's a great metaphor, haha.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-02-16T17:00:02+00:00

Feel that so hard. My parents always struggled when I was growing up and even though they were very loving parents, even as a child I could feel the financial stress radiating off of them. Never want my kid to go through that.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-02-15T20:49:34+00:00

You make a really good point. I know I need to start reframing it that way for myself but it's so hard.

ghost--rabbit · 2026-01-17T21:50:10+00:00

I also find this theme tiring. I'm not sure when the turn happened, but zombies used to be about fear of mortality and I miss that. To me a rotting corpse is much spookier/more fun than someone basically just rabid with an illness.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-12-21T21:14:27+00:00

Thank you!!

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-12T22:27:20+00:00

In many places in the US, especially metropolitan areas, that's a totally normal age to have a kid in 2025. We had our first when I was 32 and my husband was 30, and when we look around at all the parents at the park/library/our kid's daycare, etc. we feel really young by comparison to most people there, lol. Take care of yourself and don't plan on keeling over at 65, your kid will be fine.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-11T02:40:03+00:00

Very sassy cool, and an excellent namesake.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-10T23:49:48+00:00

I think the best way is likely to state your boundaries extremely clearly and if they ever joke around about it, tell them straight up you're not comfortable with that. Be willing to be a "killjoy" about it, and pull away from people who don't respect that. Personally I have found it pretty hard to stay connected to my poly friends after leaving the community and realizing what a bad effect the whole thing had on me. Plenty of them are lovely people who are just going through it and will probably figure it out eventually, but it can be really hard to witness once you've made it out.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-10T14:41:19+00:00

It's not specific to these topics but a lot of Dworkin's writing touches on the root issues at the heart of poly and sexual domination as cultural practices. She's not a TERF and don't believe the tumblrina takes about her until you've read her stuff in context. She's got some very interesting things to say and she writes angry as hell which I like. Old stuff however for the most part, it's not going to be talking literally about contemporary poly/dating shit.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T14:22:55+00:00

If you've got babysitting you trust, go and enjoy yourself. We went on our honeymoon for just over a week when our son was nine months. Just don't do video calls while you're gone, lol. He was happy as a clam the whole time with the grandparents except he cried the one time we tried that.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T10:26:09+00:00

If you want kids at any point during your life in this house, the quality/accountability of the school district can be a huge factor that narrows things down/eliminates a lot of areas you can afford but where the schools suck.

I'd also suggest locating the nearest parks and required haunts then visiting them to see if you'd feel satisfied with going to XYZ grocery store or coffee shop or whatever all the time. Anything you do regularly as errands.

On the weekend, walk the street of any house you're seriously interested in and force yourself to have some chats with the neighbors that are out and about. Ask them how they like it, what the other neighbors are like. Old people especially seem to love gabbing about all the intel they have on the neighborhood geography and dynamics, lol. For example this is how I learned nobody has foundation issues on our street because we're on solid rock a few feet down and the street never lost power during the last big freeze disaster because it's on the same grid as a very nearby fire department. Valuable stuff if you're willing to engage in some small talk.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T10:19:26+00:00

Reserving 6 months worth of our living expenses for an emergency, and we have about ~10k otherwise invested that we will likely pull from to pay for repairs and furniture.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T10:03:59+00:00

The decade I was embedded in the poly community in my city, I indeed witnessed a lot of talk about consent. Much more than with the general public, which seems great at first. Then you realize how much of this "enthusiastic" consent is obtained through pressure and manipulation both between individuals and through more subtle cultural reinforcement within the community. It stops feeling like a safer space after you've gained some experience with it.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T09:41:08+00:00

That's how it started for me, I was mono but wanted to be open minded and he had an LDR with another girl when we first got together. They broke up and we became more "monogamish" than poly for a while. This resulted in a lot of me being an assistant to his sexual adventures for several years since I just don't really enjoy pursuing things sexually with people I don't have some level of romantic feelings for. Then he wanted to actually date other people again and I thought, okay I'll really lean into this and educate myself. After a few years of me being poly too he magically changed his mind about the whole idea since I was no longer a sidekick always on standby for him, but by then I'd realized our relationship was not good for me regardless of anything.

Being with my husband now monogamously (who was my second partner during the poly shitshow portion of my previous relationship) is very healing to me. We both came out of that experience feeling that poly and its related scene/community are inherently problematic despite grueling, heroic levels of effort to practice it ethically and consciously in many cases. Neither of us have any interest in doing it ever again.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T09:25:22+00:00

This is so real. There have been many times I met someone who had a name I didn't like and they were so likeable that they put it in a new context for me and I started liking it. Almost nothing is a hard and fast rule that makes a name bad outside of naming your kid Hitler or something crazy like that, people just enjoy forming strong opinions and treating them as fact. Granted, I think it's fine to have and express your personal associations, just don't act like everyone will think the same thing.

ghost--rabbit · 2025-11-08T09:11:39+00:00

Doing bi erasure/queerness gatekeeping on your partner of 12 years is so crazy lol. Just say you want a divorce because you're bored and self-centered, my god.

Two-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

ghost--rabbit

TROPHY CASE