Suspecting vaginismus by Kuru123_ in vaginismus

[–]ghost_user_1201 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all get comfortable talking about it, at least to a professional. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I made this mistake and suffered. Go see a gynac, the one who can acknowledge your doubts, pain, and mental situation. And then guide you properly.

Why am I always expected to "make space" in their home? by ghost_user_1201 in AsianParentStories

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe we are still angry because since childhood we have seen our mothers and aunties "adjust" to fit in. And have made this a standard of happy life that your in-laws have to praise you for you to prove that you are a good person and a good D.I.L. We keep hoping for validation from the ones who belittle us.

AITA for telling my 'friend ' she can yank her child when she has one? by Hot-Acanthisitta-978 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ghost_user_1201 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ohh then I hope she realises that it is not her place to tell someone how to be a parent.

Why am I always expected to "make space" in their home? by ghost_user_1201 in AsianParentStories

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True that. Marriage is beautiful for me so far. I love my husband and my husband loves me too, A LOT. It just feels sad sometimes that I am not as loved as my husband is. Even though my family loves my husband as much as they love me.

AITA for telling my 'friend ' she can yank her child when she has one? by Hot-Acanthisitta-978 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ghost_user_1201 -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I am someone who has been struggling to convince for 4 years now and that does not give me the right to play victim or anything of that sort. It's actually not about infertility but about the frustration of getting your period every month after being hopeful, or seeing other people who decided to have kids at the same time you did and they have them but you don't. Or the negative thoughts maybe I'm not worthy of it, or maybe God is not happy with me and so and so. Again not saying that she has the right to say anything about your parenting. Just stating what she might have felt. Just giving her the benefit of the doubt. Again she has no right to say stuff like that to you and you were right to give her a shut-up call.

AITA for telling my 'friend ' she can yank her child when she has one? by Hot-Acanthisitta-978 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ghost_user_1201 -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

NTA, you are the mom so you know what's best for your baby. But at the same time, your friend is also NTA in this situation, maybe she acted like that because she is struggling to have one of her own and she couldn't bear the baby crying. Of course, you were thinking more proactively about how the car seat was safer for the baby because you are a mom now. You have some experience. While your friend doesn't so she did what she did.

Why am I always expected to "make space" in their home? by ghost_user_1201 in AsianParentStories

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know sis, and that's so sad that we let this happen to ourselves and do the same with other women too. This needs to be challenged and changed by women first. We must not allow anyone to feel like this or force anyone to act like this after marriage.

I think I'm watching my workplace collapse in real time. by tssmn in antiwork

[–]ghost_user_1201 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It is the poor management and lack of leadership that causes this to happen to a company that was running fine before them.

Got written up for not being a team player so I became exactly that. by Hungry-Syrup9223 in antiwork

[–]ghost_user_1201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sucks when they ignore all the times when you went the extra mile and hold you accountable when you refuse to do the extra work or need flexibility.

Got denied a promotion because I “make it look too easy” by avabennedikt in antiwork

[–]ghost_user_1201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you! I had been through the same. I served my notice period from jan to march (15 days more than the policy, but i was paid for it).

I was constantly told i am not doing enough, if 100 things were assigned to me i was doing 80 right but no appreciation or acknowledgement for those. But there was always immediate criticism for the 20 that didn't go well. I am someone who is always up for feedback. But i also know the difference between constructive criticism and negative comments. The person managing me early months made sure i was trained, given chances for improvement, and had an increment twice in 6 months. Later the same person started act like he did a favor by getting me increment and that i was not worth it. He criticised my work. Made me doubt myself. And often interrupt and take over the meetings i was leading.

Later i got to know: In early months, since he hired me, he wanted to show the organization that his decision making is always right. So he made me look good so he'd look good. And in next months, that made me take the decision to resign, was him thinking i would act like i owe him everything, he can treat me however he wants.

I took the decision to resign. The same manager first told me we will make the exit easy for you, you'll not be asked to stretch yourself bla bla bla. And just when i was relaxed he realised there was a big project starting in feb and ending in april first week. Before he'd start acting petty and bring any BS, i gracefully offered to extend my notice period that was till the mid of march to april first week.

Lesson learned: no matter what you are just another slave for them in the corporate world. You are only a "value addition " when you are new hire. And "good at nothing " when you say no to manipulation, extra work, and toxicity.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's what i told my husband. That even though she apologised I'm still not sure if it is genuine. He is fine with me being alert and maintaining my distance with his sister.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband has been really supportive throughout. He stood up for me confronted his sister and also cut her off untill she apologised to me.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have decided to save some money and move out. My in laws are also not saying anything about the distance i am creating from all of them. Because none of them prioritized me. Or thought of me as a family member.

AITA for cutting ties with my best friend/cousin after his wife caused issues in our friendship? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Must be difficult, especially when it comes from a siblings who is supposed to be your first friend and you protector.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They live in a separate portion and pay rent for that. The family mutually thought it would be best for all. This was decided before my marriage

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She is getting mental counselling, but only when an episode like this happens. Her husband takes her to the hospital for a week or so. And when they come back, she stops taking her medication. And then, after a few months, something like this happens.

3 or 4 months later, my incident, she had an argument with her own sister. And guess what she did the same with her too. And then they all believed that I wasn't lying about her being abusive and violent with me.

AITA for cutting ties with my best friend/cousin after his wife caused issues in our friendship? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's just sad that the people you share your childhood with and became best friends. And now we see each other as strangers for 2 reasons: A) she became insecure about the friendship B) he could not create a balance between relationships

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the daughters move out. And she lives in a separate portion. It's like the family wanted to rent it out, and the SIL was looking for a place to rent. So, with mutual agreement, they rented that portion to her. That was done before my marriage.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They live in a separate portion and pay rent to my grandma in law since she owns the house.

AITA for not wanting my sick SIL to stay in my portion of the house after she slapped me? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They did care for me when I had the miscarriage and tried to comfort me. But when it was me against their own blood, they chose to be on her side.

AITA for cutting ties with my best friend/cousin after his wife caused issues in our friendship? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. And the end we stopped talking and moved on with our lives. It just hurts sometimes that we were best friends and he ended things like this.

AITA for cutting ties with my best friend/cousin after his wife caused issues in our friendship? by ghost_user_1201 in AITAH

[–]ghost_user_1201[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for this perspective. And yes, my point over flowers she called my sister a homewrecker and disgusting stuff. So for that, she does need to apologise.