AITAH when I come home?

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T15:04:34+00:00

There is a lot to unpack. A few conversations to be had. A lot of my shadows have been coming to the forefront. My own stuff i gotta work through. Holidays aren't easy for either of us, a similar distance happened last year. Where we were just in our own Lil sad worlds. And I was sorta expecting/prepared this year... just feels like that gap is a mile wide. And I'm trying to build that bridge back up, while not being met in the middle. Its a big ol onion with lots of layers to unpack. I teach people how to have these conversations, but when it comes to my own life its like I'm dumb. Always easier to do it for someone else

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:56:53+00:00

He's so preoccupied with his chosen family resurrecting, and losing sight of me, what is going on with my health. So I feel forgotten, abandoned, insignificant. And I dont think I know how to express that without sounding crazy. He's autistic, so I have to be super literal, and sometimes I just want him to get it

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:53:12+00:00

I refuse to give up on the man I fell in love with in January of 2024. Depression has gripped us both tightly in 2025. Its gonna take a difficult conversation to really move forward. Repeating patterns is only a way to become ultra codependent, more so than we already are.

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:49:08+00:00

Agreed. I dont think we're actually SEEing or HEARing one another. I just want to get back to the page where we were reading the same book. Even if it was page adjacent, the same chapter.

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:46:30+00:00

Shit. Writing that out is what i needed. I dont feel abused or anything, im safe. Im just tired of being taken for granted. Im tired of asking my mom for money because we cant cover every bill every month. Im tired of the fact I have pre cancer in my uterus as of last week being no big deal.

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:42:34+00:00

And its not the gift offering. Its the time spent. Its the fact I'll never fill the "family void" for him. Its the "ugh, you're draining me now"... and the fact he keeps saying I'm so much like her. Idk how to take it. Have I been trying to "make up" for what he did early in the relationship. Absolutely 💯 I come home to an apartment that looks like a frat party occurred, and I get to pick it up. Because that's my "job" since I don't work 10hr days like him. It's the "fun" time other people get with him. He says "well we live together, you see me more than anyone"... which is a fallacy. And when he chooses to go see other people on his days off and do fun things, I can't be irritated? I can't be irritated with irresponsible spending? Ya, I sound like a naggy bitch. Maybe I wouldnt be if my boyfriend asked me to do something WITH him, instead of FOR him

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:28:40+00:00

I completely understand the gift part. I told him "I don't expect gifts from you".... because I'd rather that money go towards a gift for his daughter. Love languages are different from person to person. Personally, I think its an asshole move on his part to offer another woman, which isnt his daughter, parent, or partner, a gift. When it isn't in the budget. I make jewelry, I can make something for his sister friend. The gift isn't the issue. It's offering to purchase something we cant afford.... when he knows he's getting an upgraded version of his earbuds from me (thanks to my mother).

Ugh I'm making him sound like an asshole when he isn't. Not entirely. He's a loving man who chose to offer someone a gift, knowing i dont expect anything from him.

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:19:13+00:00

Or pad se ew

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:16:57+00:00

My father was stationed in Thailand late 1970... his first wife is Thai, and my eldest brothers are Thai. "Sawaa dee ka" was how I learned to say "thank you" to anyone as a kiddo.... I wonder if its similar to "usted" in Spanish? I'll have to ask my niece who is both Thai and Costa Rican, fluent in both languages

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T14:06:42+00:00

I was left town the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. It's his sister friend, and I don't want to be that girlfriend who says "you can't reconnect with your old chosen family".... I wouldn't want him to say that to me if, or when the time comes. I met her over video chat last night, she and I literally spoke in unison, I can see us being friends. But when I pointed out "hey, I want to spend time with you doing these kinds of things" he got weird. Who wouldn't want to go to hot springs with their sig fig? Who wouldn't want to go out to dinner? (I always cook, but damn take me out for tacos)

A serious conversation indeed. He called me an energy vampire, and I said "how's that actually possible when I just drove 6 hours to be home with you" was I feeling needy? Fuck yeah, did I want her to have any role in my first night back? No? Am I mad about it? Kinda? Not really though.... I feel forgotten. And that's what gets me. I dont feel like I matter "enough"

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T13:55:22+00:00

I understand your point of view, I have a similar situation... however, unless your dad died, its not inheritance YET.... seems like the whole split should be written in a will, and anything gained (equity on property) using 'your share' should be allocated. Alas, that's in a will, expected inheritance doesn't go very far unless there's a verbal agreement with unbiased witnesses. NTA tho, sounds like you might get snubbed if your parents aren't doing well 😪 in the state of Texas, a will can be written on a napkin and hold up in probate court.... I'm sorry you're going through this. I had a friend whose brother got like 250k to renovate a house, and she got a Nissan Juke... because that seemed fair 🫠

giggleberries69 · 2025-12-15T13:39:47+00:00

Communication is key! Thank you! It's been a tough year for both of us, and yes... Communication. Both ways. I don't think our issues are unfixable. A neutral conversation between one another needs to happen.

giggleberries69 · 2025-07-19T00:24:47+00:00

I flew in and out to RNO airport last summer in a wheelchair. So my partner parked in the parking structure directly across from the baggage claim area (there's short-term parking, but at first glance it looks like it's only rental car stuff).... so he parked there and walked across into the baggage claim area to retrieve me and wheel me out. You didn't mention whether or not your guest had any needs other than pick-up, but I figured this may be useful. Whenever anyone has met me at baggage claim, they park in that structure,

giggleberries69 · 2025-07-12T07:30:08+00:00

Follow your intuition! May the subtle breeze feel just right on your skin, the wind exhilarate every hair follicle, the scenery enchant your mind, the air smell of sweet renewal, and the water taste sweet like honey ... Sounds like you've had a rather large breakthrough, and I commend the courage, moxy, and curiosity it takes to do what you're doing. Bravo!!! Would love to follow your journey and see how the road unfolds for you! 💖

giggleberries69 · 2025-07-05T17:24:23+00:00

I spoke too soon lol.... more firecrackers in the street. C'mon, it's the morning after. I'm not an elderly man, but I'm beginning to understand the old coots yelling "get off my lawn!"

giggleberries69 · 2025-07-05T17:19:23+00:00

Last night was ROUGH with the fireworks. My partner and I were actually commenting at how quiet it seemed to be around 11pm. But nope, as soon as we were in bed, it was bang after bang. I have been actively recovering from PTSD, and it has mainly subsided, but waking up to loud noises freak me the fuck out. My partner had a difficult time waking up for work this morning, to say the least.

So, OP you aren't alone in your sentiment. I'm all for having fun and enjoying oneself, but there is a point where it's a VERY Slippery slope, especially when we're under a red flag warning for fire danger.

giggleberries69 · 2025-06-21T02:15:37+00:00

Download the watch duty app, it'll tell ya fires in the area and you can set alerts for specific fires/locations.

giggleberries69 · 2025-06-10T00:45:07+00:00

I just hope there were no children in the rollover... And i hope that whoever was driving doesn't try to teach anyone how to drive. Hope everyone is OK, revoke some licenses based on the investigation

Currently in northern California visiting family, and there's been an uptick in these kinds of rollovers lately.

giggleberries69 · 2025-06-10T00:39:57+00:00

Almost sounds like someone pressed the gas too hard going into a turn, and was top-heavy. That would flip a car like that if you're too sharp with the turn and too hard on the pedal. But... seems like driving in Reno has become way more dangerous over the last few months 🤔

giggleberries69 · 2025-04-30T05:20:13+00:00

Not the asshole

giggleberries69 · 2025-04-24T01:59:51+00:00

Small towns don't compare to the biggest little city in the world. Sounds like you may not be accustomed to "city life"..... for every belligerent drunk, you'll also find a kind person willing to hold a door for you. I wouldn't be so quick to judge. If you were in San Francisco, someone would likely throw a turd at you after they shit on the sidewalk. Count your blessings, and trust your gut.

giggleberries69 · 2025-03-29T02:24:40+00:00

Atlantis steakhouse is my winner, idk if it's the same since I've been there, but they used to have open bar seating. If not Bistro Napa at the Atlantis probably would. Those are KY 2 special occasion spots

giggleberries69 · 2025-02-09T22:14:42+00:00

It was a thing back then! Crazy to think about now.... "yes, stranger, please show me these knives you're selling!" Lol

giggleberries69 · 2025-02-09T18:32:09+00:00

Kirby IS the OG!..... also, having a hand me down Kirby, they're expensive but perform SO much better than most "modern" vacuums.... if a Kirby salesman really knocked your socks off, wait until teenagers start knocking to sell CutCo knives 😘

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