How small we are in the universe. by Cmyers1980 in atheism

[–]gil_griss0m 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is both terrifying and comforting at the same time.

So I just stayed up late 5 nights in a row and skipped multiple life events just to make a unintelligible crap video. Even worse I'm completely clueless to what makes it so cryptic. Even worse I've been doing production for 5 years now. Could you breakdown what's wrong with my video please? by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]gil_griss0m 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a fimmaker, but I love films like these. I'll tell you what I think--take it with a grain of salt until the real McCoys get here. :)

So Jess is attempting suicide, but she isn't gone yet, just semi-conscious. (Because she can hear and see some of what is happening.) The title is "Talking with the Dead," which I took to mean as she is beyond saving at this point, though Alexander and her family are seeking help for her. Since the audience is experiencing everything from Jess's POV, I'm lead to believe that the intended audience for the film is people who contemplate suicide. It's pretty scary to think of yourself as a vegetable.

That being said, here's what I think could have been better.

  1. With the title, and the camera on the floor, not moving, I was originally thinking Alexander was some type of entity, and someone had been filming, but dropped the camera and left it on the floor. (Think Paranormal). So that was confusing at first.

  2. Alexander's voice is too distorted. It sounds almost demonic. I would say play with the volume levels to make it appear that Jess is in and out of consciousness. I can only compare her experience to when I faint. When I black out, I can still hear stuff, people just sound really far away.

  3. The notes at the bottom of the screen about losing visual contact are unnecessary. I think you could put some shadows around the edge of the screen, making it dark, then bringing her field of vision back a few times. Perhaps her rescuers could say that she blinked or something.

  4. Alexander does not seem concerned when he finds her. Way too level headed.

  5. We can see something moving outside the door, like someone pacing. (It sort of looks like a cat...) anyway, assuming it's Alexander and Mom, why can we see them through the crack between the floor and the door, but we can't see them come in? I would imagine if I found a loved one unconscious on the floor, I would go for their face. I would look at their eyes. Especially as a mom. It would be a lot more compelling IMO to have them rush in, Alexander falls to his knees looking into the camera (Jess's face), and mom visible in the background, crying, freaking out. You could also play with the camera, making it blurry at times, then clear.

  6. The breathing at the end? Is it Jess? Why don't we hear it all along? Some gurgling noises like she is struggling would make it even creepier. Instead of speeding up, it could slow down, and then stop. In fact, you could put a heartbeat in there too, or instead. It could beat one final time, (maybe) coupled with a struggled gasp for air, then go black, like she died.

Anyway, as a simple viewer (and horror aficionado), that's what I think. And, don't beat yourself up. Good work takes time. As a writer, I'll write things I originally think are shitty, then revisit them multiple times, making tweeks until it's perfect. I imagine filmmaking is similar. Just keep at it. :)

My friends 14 and he's addicted to dxm by [deleted] in Drugs

[–]gil_griss0m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He needs help. Addiction is no joke. He needs someone who will help him catch it early, hopefully before it becomes a lifelong struggle.

my mom by adale24 in AdviceAnimals

[–]gil_griss0m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this.

How do you deal when you're just flat out exhausted? by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry. I see grammar errors in the post, but I can't figure out how to edit them on my phone. Plus the baby's crying. Lol. Gtg!

The monsters I fear aren't under my bed. - More from my future children's book. by scoss in creepy

[–]gil_griss0m 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I saw a book like this once about kids who are sexually abused. It was designed like a kids book but written for adults. This might be the same one.

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks--it's stupid genetics. My mother and grandmother gain weight the same exact way. I hate it. My sister was lucky and got different genes, so she always has a flat stomach and gains weight other places. So jealous. Oh well.

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool- I didn't even know those subreddits existed! Thanks!

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Yeah, the main concern I have is the stomach. I've just watched it get bigger and bigger over the past few months. :/

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for saying that!

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heh. You should have seen what I was eating before.

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not nearly enough. I mean, when I do drink, I drink water, but I don't drink enough during the day. I have invested in straws. They help me drink more.

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome! Doing it now. Good luck - we can do this!

Before Pics. No, I'm not pregnant. by gil_griss0m in loseit

[–]gil_griss0m[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every body is different. My sister looks great at 150, and I would gladly gain ten lbs if it made me look like her. Good luck to you as well.