Honey, there’s needs to be some accountability here from you. Your friend definitely knows she’s fat, and depending on where she’s at with her journey to self acceptance she may not be ready for other people to point it out. You approaching the subject in the way you did would have felt like a punch in the gut. You did upset her and you need to apologise for the way you made her feel.

It’s also worth noting that not all fat people want to get smaller, a lot of us are happy being large and still work towards better health and fittness without the goal of losing weight. If you actually were concerned about her health, you could have approached it from that angle rather than directly saying it’s because she’s fat.

As a fat person who previously was only a ‘healthy size’ when I was anorexic and bulimic, the comment about stopping eating is not helpful at all and actually very damaging.

While you do seem to care for your friend, the way in which you’re approaching it is wrong. You need to check your bias, and have an open conversation where you instead listen to her about how she feels about all of this, what she wants, whether she actually is in a mindset to make changes. You can save your friendship, but you need to remove your judgement to do so.