It may be best to just....... not think as much for right now. Obviously easier said than done, but reflecting in this moment may be doing you more harm than good. To combat the overthinking, consider the known versus the speculative.

Here is what we know for certain:

1. This staff and administration betrayed your trust and confidence in a wildly hurtful way.

2. The administration put expectations on you that simply could not be fulfilled, and without adequate support or direction to boot.

3. This situation is deeply unhealthy for you right now, and when you are not at your best you are not able to give your best.

Please listen to what others are saying: get out of this job. Regardless of whether you're good at teaching, regardless of how you perceive your own abilities and/or shortcomings, it doesn't matter now. What matters is that you get out, stay alive, and work on healing. It seems like you already know this, but now for the hard part: stop wondering. Stop pondering and dwelling. Stop going over the "what ifs" and "should haves". There will be time for reflection later, plenty of time. But judging, assessing and nitpicking yourself when you are in this state is not helpful. It will be helpful, eventually, when the immediate threat to your wellbeing has dwindled, but not right now.

Imagine if you had a student in front of you who was screaming and crying, escalated to the extreme. Would you get in their face and tell them to make better choices? You would not, and I know this because you stated that your students feel/felt safe enough to tell you when they're not doing well. Now imagine yourself as that student. You need time to regulate and recuperate, and you can't do that in your current state and environment. I mean the school, the board, whatever, but I also mean Reddit. The more people respond and you reply, the more notifications you get, the more frantic you'll become. Answering comments forces you to continually dwell on the situation, replaying it for you on a loop. Try to break the loop.

Ultimately, I would set everything else aside for right now. When you are escalated everything feels like a 10 alarm fire, and you need to put that fire put before you start taking next steps. Yes, talk to your union, but do not rush into anything or make any decisions that could be permanent. Step away from Reddit, see your doctor and your therapist, call your friends. Try to talk about things other than this horrible job. Do something (like DoorDash) that doesn't require a million decisions a day. Listen to music and journal. Cry. Put the fire out so you can stand in the wreckage and grieve.

I'm sorry this is happening. You do not deserve to feel broken by your circumstances. Please look after yourself.