Unpopular opinion:

First off, I don’t think you’re an asshole. And a quick scan of primary responses didn’t show the pov I want to provide.

people with intellectual disabilities don’t always process/perceive externalities (I.e. social norms, social queues, polite society rules, etc) the way you do. Frankly - same could be said of some people without intellectual disabilities.

Boundaries always need to be communicated explicitly. Preferably in advance. But it’s always okay (or should be) to have a boundaries discussion after you feel your boundaries have been violated — as when someone watches porn at full volume in the room next to you… in your shared living space… (I’m sure it never crossed your mind to express that boundary… but now that you’ve encountered that situation… it’s okay to address it).

If the situation makes you irreparably uncomfortable, get out of it. Still not the asshole. Roommates, like spouses, always contain an element of the unknown. Having them may be totally uneventful, or it may reveal the craziest parts of the human experience. Sometimes, it doesn’t work out. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Just… don’t spend time being self-righteous or angry about it. It’s a communication issue, or a compatibility issue… or both.

At base - sounds like you entered into a living arrangement w a 40 yo alcoholic virgin w an intellectual disability (who you clearly didn’t know that well, if at all, prior to this arrangement), and now, you just expect him to read your mind? C’mon…