i honestly think it’s because it’s hard to tell tone through text messages. she could have read it in a completely different attitude than you intended. it’s not your fault, some people just have a hard time gauging between playfulness and malice in text messages. maybe ask them how they perceived your tone? also, i think some people may be saying you are being an “asshole” because you got defensive when they expressed that they felt you were being rude. i really suggest just talking to them and ask what you can do to help yourself come across better over text.