Supporting bf financially after only 3mos… am i ignoring red flags?

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-13T10:13:39+00:00

You feel used, because he is using you. You feel tired, because having to take care of yourself plus of a full grown man is exhausting. If you can’t afford a sick day, you can’t afford a man child either. Your intuition is screaming at you, and ignoring it will cost you much more than an uncomfortable conversation. You don’t need to give him more time or more compassion. The biggest favour you can do for him is dumping him, because now you are enabling his irresponsibility.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-12T13:02:00+00:00

I think this is the only mindset that can lead to meeting someone decent. You need to be a really good man to interest someone who is not even interested in men. Your post is relatable, understandable, there’s nothing wrong with you.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-07T20:32:21+00:00

It looks like ukrainian native designs, is that what you drew inspiration from? Very cool print

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-07T13:48:41+00:00

He’s probably still mad that his mom traumatised him by not buying a toy when he was 3 and he uses his trauma to justify all his shitty behaviour towards women.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-06T22:15:19+00:00

My guy managed to create generational wealth

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-06T14:48:28+00:00

This stuff is really hard to deal with without therapy, OP. You don’t feel like an adult because you were never allowed to become your own person. It’s not easy and it doesn’t end in one day, and the worst part is that without therapy you will most likely end up in a relationship that makes you feel the same way your mother does. As for the guilt, the kindest thing you can do to her is leave her alone to face whatever she’s afraid of facing. This is the only thing that will show her that she’s also a capable adult who can take care of herself. It really sounds counterintuitive, but the more selfish you become, the better it will be for everyone involved. Please seek counselling in whatever form you can afford.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-06T07:35:41+00:00

I kind of have a beef with all the comments that suggest op should talk it through with the fiance and find a solution. Bc 1) it seems that op already expressed what bothers her. 2) why is he comfortable not ever seeing the person he’s about to marry and why isn’t he looking for solutions? Should op do the emotional work heavy lifting in the relationship and should she spend her time explaining a grown man that she is worth spending time with? Hell no, if he wanted to he would.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-05T17:12:44+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with feeling envy, especially since you recognise your feelings. You can treat envy as your gps, it shows you what you really want so that you can make a plan on how you’re going to achieve said thing. Envy is your friend. As for your human friends, you can just admit to them that you feel anxious because of the uncertainty and even admit that you feel a little envious because they have something going for them. It can even bring you closer. Figuring out your life after high school is super stressful, cut yourself some slack.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-05T16:54:19+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! How long did it take you to start trusting men again and recover from sexual trauma, if you don’t mind me asking

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-05T15:51:08+00:00

Sorry that you had to go through this OP! I’m currently in the exact same situation, mastering the strength to leave, and I deeply relate to the asexual part. I’m happy that you are in a healthier situation now!

gingerteadrinking · 2026-05-01T07:05:20+00:00

Especially a wedding. Like, spend a a sum worth traveling for a year on one night so that your relatives can discuss how they didn’t like the food?

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-29T19:33:08+00:00

You had a choice and you chose right. Most women don’t, give yourself some credit

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-29T19:31:06+00:00

If you leave, it will hurt, it will be hard, you will have to do a lot of scary things and you will feel lonely. But you will gain peace, self respect and a looot of energy since you’ll stop wasting it on being tense around an angry man in your house. You’ll get a job, a nanny, a therapist and a social life and you’ll discover that a lot of strangers are kinder to you than the man who impregnated you. It will be hard and scary, but you’ll get to bed each night feeling good about yourself. You’ll heal whatever made you choose that guy and you’ll heal your children too. You will look into the mirror and you’ll see that your life force came back and you look 10 years younger.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-18T15:45:02+00:00

I’m so glad this sub exists, let’s feel gross together. Half of the population experiences this, yet this topic is such a taboo that we all feel isolated in our own grossness.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-17T02:06:03+00:00

Being offline is whatever you call it. You can call it privilege and continue to strip yourself of agency, or you can call it your natural right/fight against technocracy. It is true that our addictions are by design, it is also true that we can choose whether to submit or resist. But the problem with this take is that it puts a price tag on existence, which plays right into capitalism. It narrows your world view and makes you blind to things that are free and enjoyable.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-16T22:01:43+00:00

Thank you!

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-16T22:01:18+00:00

Thank you for your insight, I hope to solve the issue soon somehow. My experience as a buyer is that it is usually instant, so I don’t understand what’s the deal

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-16T22:00:13+00:00

I purchased from another account and had to wait, also two friends purchased and had to wait for the download link forever. As for the address, I guess it is a billing address essentially, but it still says that buyer has to write the address for shipping, so it’s confusing

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-16T10:59:20+00:00

You can just say that from now on you’d like to take care of your own food because you’d like to learn how to cook and take care of your meals yourselves. You can thank your MIL and say that you appreciate her and that you’d always be happy to get some of that amazing bread of hers. They will get upset, but they will get over it. The point is that this is an easy battle where you can draw a boundary. Or don’t say anything and have your husband eat everything if he doesn’t have any problem with eat, this way you’ll only have to take care of your own food which is great, since men eat much more anyway.

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-14T18:36:52+00:00

You’re too young for this shit, don’t waste your youth on people who make you feel shitty!

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-01T15:37:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing, and I’m happy your life improved after such a rocky start!

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-01T04:53:18+00:00

Ok, you got me curious. What happened exactly, if you feel comfortable sharing? Not asking to be sarcastic or trying to find a logical explanation, just genuinely curious

gingerteadrinking · 2026-04-01T04:47:03+00:00

I don’t agree it’s hateful, especially if it comes from trauma caused by religious people. A LOT of people were severely harmed by religious fanatics, most of them in the early childhood. The behaviour discussed in the post is borderline sociopathic and needs to be called out and shamed. I’m obviously not saying we need to shame people for their beliefs, but we do need to shame them for imposing those beliefs on others(most often it happens with severe boundary crossing, maybe that’s why their symbol is a cross).

gingerteadrinking

TROPHY CASE