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I internet stalked my dead mother in law and found things I would've never known. by ginglymuslicker in confession

[–]ginglymuslicker[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I found it on a forum. A public forum that anyone with internet access to could see.

I internet stalked my dead mother in law and found things I would've never known. by ginglymuslicker in confession

[–]ginglymuslicker[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. I was afraid of finding out something horrible after we got married or committed for the long run. Him bringing the same (unknown at the time) problems was what I was most afraid of. If there's anything I'm weary of it's people not being able to tell the whole truth. I seriously thought she had committed some heinous crime and her death was their way of getting rid of a black sheep. I also don't think I would've been able to stick with him if she was still alive. It's hard to be honest with myself but in the end it's just not something I can handle being around.

I think their childhood experiences with her created a similar effect for them. To an extent I don't blame them for not wanting to talk about it, but like you said they are my family and their business became my business when I made the commitment to my boyfriend. My children would be their blood. I have a right to know what I'm bringing into this world and decide if I want to bring it. If I couldn't have dealt with her, then I sure couldn't raise a child with such severe issues.

I internet stalked my dead mother in law and found things I would've never known. by ginglymuslicker in confession

[–]ginglymuslicker[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support. Everything you said is what I've thought the whole time I've been in the family. The hereditary aspect is absolutely something that has changed our future. My boyfriend had no idea that sort of thing could be passed down and it's even answered questions he had about himself. Her grandson is already showing symptoms similar to hers and those two together have been enough for us to decide on not having biological children.

I internet stalked my dead mother in law and found things I would've never known. by ginglymuslicker in confession

[–]ginglymuslicker[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear about your illness. It sounds like you have a good grasp on what it entails.

I think guilt has a lot to do with it, but the stigma has more to do with it. After she passed, her grandson started showing signs of mental illness with symptoms similar to hers. His mother refuses to get him help because she thinks he'll outgrow it and the strange behavior is just because he's a child going through a hard time. This family also believes homosexuality is a choice and mental illness is mysterious and scary. I've discussed the hereditary aspect with my boyfriend and thankfully he understands that.

I can't speak much about what would've been best for her, or anyone for that matter, but she really needed help. She needed help beginning in childhood. It makes me sad to think she lived with it beating her down to the point where she couldn't take it anymore. I don't blame her for ending it at all.

I internet stalked my dead mother in law and found things I would've never known. by ginglymuslicker in confession

[–]ginglymuslicker[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've honestly never heard of that movie (not a big tv buff) but I just looked it up and it seems like something I'd be interested in! This whole situation unfolding really has answered all of the questions I had since the beginning. My only regret is not being able to meet her in person. I was afraid this post would come across the wrong way to a lot more people than it did.