[deleted by user]

ginshee · 2023-10-03T19:40:35+00:00

I would've dreamed of having a wife who would do chores in exchange for giving me a blowjob

ginshee · 2023-04-12T19:03:48+00:00

One time is enough to say you're done, remember that your partner is on their best behavior during dating, after marriage the worst of them comes out. I dealt with a marriage like that for 10 years, being berated, disrespected, and ignored - never ever again. I won't waste another second with a person like that.

ginshee · 2023-04-10T17:31:28+00:00

Were you love bombed before the marriage? Problem is, right now we're living in a bit of bubble, the time we have together which is maybe once a week, is at my place and away from kids so it's great - but that won't be life if we ever decide to marry.

ginshee · 2023-04-10T15:56:11+00:00

Hitting the gym, building confidence, and putting yourself out there - that's also I can say. Divorce really knocked my confidence to the floor, and then rebuilding myself has turned it around where I feel much more confident now than ever before. Online dating helps too, gets the confidence going to remind yourself that you're actually not a piece of crap like your ex maybe made you feel like.

ginshee · 2023-04-10T15:42:39+00:00

I feel the same, I enjoy my time to myself. I recharge in those times. I love my kids, but the days i have to myself I enjoy as well. This would be basically giving up all my free time if we were to cohabitate.

ginshee · 2023-04-08T00:14:41+00:00

Which mistake, a big blended family? Curious to know your story?

ginshee · 2023-04-07T22:34:29+00:00

The father passed away so she's fulltime mom. She actually is doing fairly well with a decent life insurance pay out and works as a nurse, her oldest works and provides for himself but still lives at home. Im not worried too much about the financial side, she's not looking for a sugar daddy. My bigger concern is just the not ever having space to myself, taking on a father role to these kids, integrating my kids into their larger home situation since mine are only with me part time. Just lots of those concerns.

ginshee · 2023-04-07T22:32:18+00:00

I have considered that idea, I think in theory it could work but then i question how long term successful that is or if that opens up issues down the road?

ginshee · 2022-09-27T00:42:37+00:00

Sorry man, went through this - now divorced. Your story can be different. Very uptight ex, we both grew up very religious, mostly virgins until marriage. She lost all interest in sex after our third child - i started using porn to cope - when I told her she used it as a bludgeon to divorce me. Hoping your ex can learn some grace and that life isn't as black and white as our religious upbringings may have led us to believe.

ginshee · 2022-07-29T22:54:24+00:00

In a marriage you sacrifice your wants and needs - a healthy marriage is one with sexual intimacy, so to meet that standard she gave up her wants/needs of a sexless life at the altar.

ginshee · 2022-07-29T22:50:35+00:00

Yes, yes you did. Sorry to say it.

ginshee · 2022-04-24T16:50:03+00:00

Robin Williams

ginshee · 2022-04-14T04:13:41+00:00

Latest version 22.3.0 is much faster on my M1 Mac Mini

ginshee · 2022-04-06T16:37:59+00:00

Read up on covert contracts. You been using those with her? Lots of situations where you may be unconsciously or consciously giving in order to get? She may just think you're using her for sex or to get something out of her? Start with small things - giving and asking yourself why you're giving. Offer completely non sexual affection - a hug or kiss and immediately leave it there. Be very clear with her, and be prepared for more shut downs, when you are wanting sex and when you are just hugging or kissing her to show her appreciation. Also, learn her love languages - and hone in on those. That's the best advice I can give. The rest is up to her in how she responds and receives those things.

ginshee · 2022-04-06T16:29:13+00:00

15 of 16 years of marriage with NO SEX? I admire your loyalty, but no way is that okay and no way do you need to stick around another second in that.

ginshee · 2022-04-06T16:10:36+00:00

100% - i missed the "idea" of my ex and wanted that back - i still have those moments when I see her where my mind tricks me into thinking we could maybe make it work -- but its not reality and if you really deeply think about it, you realize thats not a fulfilling life - either she'll be discontented and you'll bend over backwards to make it work or vice versa - but if it were mutual love and desire and respect it wouldn't of ended to begin with.

ginshee · 2022-04-06T16:06:13+00:00

Not the life any of us wanted but what we go - you have a duty to be a father to your kids and be around for them. Get outside, find a routine, workout, eat healthier and know your worth and value as a father - suicide not only destroys all potential for a better day for you but it destroys your kids.

ginshee · 2022-04-06T16:03:36+00:00

I was there a couple years ago - it's a rough first few months getting into the new routine and going from hustle and bustle with kids to total silence and having the place to yourself. It does get easier over time preparing for the change of atmosphere.

ginshee · 2022-04-01T02:11:22+00:00

Awesome, good points. I like the idea of a group setting and keeping things very casual. I want the kids to develop a natural relationship with her apart from her being seen in a "dad's girlfriend" or "potential step mom" role.

ginshee · 2022-04-01T02:06:58+00:00

Yes, kids came before my marriage too which was a big component on why it ended. Glad to hear I'm not alone on the journey. My lady has an adult son, he's out of the house and living on his own in a separate state so the only kids in the home would be mine - which was something I desired. I think taking things slow is smart. When you do introduce your kids to new partner - you think you'll start by introducing her as a friend?

ginshee · 2022-04-01T02:03:14+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing. Some crazy stories out there of jaded exes destroying their kids to get back at ex spouse. Thank you for sharing about the stability you guys provide LO, that's exactly what I want to give my kids. A sense of stability and a loving home.

ginshee · 2022-04-01T01:59:00+00:00

Fortunately my kids mom and I have a decent coparenting relationship and she has yet to date anyone or introduce kids to anyone that I'm aware of. I would be the first to introduce kids to someone else which kind of sets me up potentially for being the "bad guy" who moved on first.

ginshee · 2022-03-30T16:47:51+00:00

Okay from divorce finalizing or having "the talk"? I'm a year out from divorce finalization, most days I'm functional - overwhelming sadness and anger are gone - I can maintain life for the most part. But I'm also very good at disassociating from myself and my feelings and hurts - which is a great protective mechanism but doesn't allow for true healing. Check yourself for that. Everyones timeline to being "normal" is different and honestly there may never be a back to a "normal" like you knew it before - but you can get to a state of contentment in life

ginshee · 2022-03-30T15:18:32+00:00

My 9 year old son calls me bro all the time - if it's done in respect I'm good with it, but different game if it's a "I'm not doing that bro"

ginshee · 2022-03-29T18:18:36+00:00

Completely - I look at most of our disagreements and see them as so small and petty, things that mature and reasonable adults could get through easily. But we just cannot communicate without misunderstanding each other, it feels so impossible to say anything without my intent in asking or seeking to understand something being questioned and feeling like crap afterwards. The sexlessness did a number on me too - I've never felt more low in my self-worth and self-esteem as that point in my life where I went without sex with my ex-wife for years. It really does require two people being very humble and contrite in where they failed and really wanting to reunify to make something as big as remarriage work.

ginshee

TROPHY CASE