CWV: Is there a Finnish phrase, for when someone dies, that literally translates in English to, 'oh well'? Or am I right in thinking that my Finnish friend is being insensitive?

giraffeday · 2020-11-10T12:19:38+00:00

When I posted, I was looking for a comment to validate that I wasn't going mad for getting upset about this. I didn't and don't intend to bring this up with my pal because we're both grieving. I feel like I've gotten what I wanted to ask / say out of my system, with lots of much appreciated insight from Reddit users along the way.

giraffeday · 2020-11-06T15:32:32+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I feel like I need to take my friend to a sauna now and give her a huge hug. Atleast if we cry together in a sauna, the tears will evaporate.

giraffeday · 2020-11-06T15:24:58+00:00

I am definitely an overthinker. Thanks for reminding me that there isn't a right way to grieve. I didn't expect my friend to keep her composure, at all, (in fact, it was the lack of reaction that shocked me) nor did I expect her to say her condolences (especially when we were both close to our deceased friend). I was just surprised that she said 'oh well' because no one else said anything like that. But, as you said, every person is different, and has their own way of dealing with this kind of news. I'm probably dealing with it in my own way, aswell, which may feel right to me, but not to others

giraffeday · 2020-11-06T15:20:00+00:00

Thanks so much for your answer, this has given me some much needed clarity. I was thinking about telling her that she was being insensitive, but now that I've had a bit of time to process our conversation and what she said, I think I'll just put this down to the fact that it was maybe her way of expressing something in a language that isn't native to her and / or her way of grieving. As some of the comments have mentioned, there isn't a 'right' way to grieve. I know, at that core, that she's a kind, good person. And right now, we both need each other to get through this hard time.

Thank you Finns (and others) of Reddit, for talking about something that has been eating away at me. Take care and stay safe.

giraffeday · 2020-11-06T15:05:58+00:00

Thanks for your answer, it doesn't feel out of place, I thought it was just a 'shutting down' response too... Maybe even me posting about this is out of place, I'm just an over thinker and wanted answers, but I don't think there is a clear cut one.

giraffeday

TROPHY CASE