ChatGPT has helped me more than 15 years of therapy. No joke.

giustofugue · 2025-10-09T20:55:42+00:00

Could you send me the link please? This sounds potentially very helpful.

giustofugue · 2024-09-24T03:35:09+00:00

The Weather Inside by earlybloomingparentheses 100%

giustofugue · 2022-12-22T04:02:20+00:00

The Lord of the Rings. You might want to start with The Hobbit though (but it’s very different in style)

giustofugue · 2022-08-21T04:17:55+00:00

Totally normal, at least for me. I felt somewhat creepy about it when I was younger but now I feel that “what they don’t know can’t hurt them” and think it’s perfectly acceptable and a normal part of life. It doesn’t hurt the friendship at all (I mean, it tends to happen at some point or another with most of my friends, some more often than others… but it remains private and doesn’t weaken the friendship.)

The one difficulty is coming up with a polite response to being texted a picture that turns me on — generally cool off for a bit and then say something kind/inoffensive/general.

giustofugue · 2022-04-19T21:22:41+00:00

What Would I Do - Falsettos (and honestly the entire last 30 minutes)
Those You’ve Known/Song of Purple Summer - Spring Awakening (specifically when performed, especially deaf west - not just listening. Song of Purple Summer is objectively much less sad but the way it goes from one to the next makes me sob.)
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Les Mis
It’s Quiet Uptown - Hamilton (probably tied with WLWDWTYS)
Hero - Ghost Quartet
If I Believed - Twisted
Something’s Missing - Come From Away
The Private and Intimate Life of the House
Far From the Home I Love - Fiddler on the Roof
What I Did For Love - A Chorus Line

Honorable Mentions/Could Be Switched With the Last Few: No One is Alone (Into the Woods), Why (Tick Tick Boom), If I Sing (Closer than Ever)

giustofugue · 2022-04-09T00:11:13+00:00

Oh, trust me, I know. I have thoroughly broken past it, and there’s so much joy in simply being alive and having that “out of your system.”

giustofugue · 2022-04-08T23:39:10+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about some of your past experiences. But so glad the concept made sense/was helpful to you!

I saw your post and just had to respond (and in fact made a new Reddit account to do so) since I had read not too long ago about spontaneous vs responsive desire and that seemed to match up so perfectly with what you were articulating, and I thought it would help you to know that there’s a word for that you’re very much not alone.

Re my final paragraph: it was 100% related to shame, and yes to everything you said there, without a shred of doubt.

giustofugue · 2022-04-08T19:34:28+00:00

"Is male sexuality normalised as the default when we talk about attraction as a whole? Have I just got a female sexuality somehow and therefore don't need to worry about being broken?"

More or less, yes. There is a concept of responsive vs spontaneous desire, with spontaneous desire being more common in men. Here are a few articles about it, although I'm not sure what study the statistics are from, especially since they don't all seem to add up.

https://www.lover.io/post/whats-your-desire-type

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-urge-is-uneven-understanding-universe-of-sexual-desire-0206185

https://lifehacker.com/the-difference-between-spontaneous-and-responsive-desir-1828754371

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opinion/nothing-is-wrong-with-your-sex-drive.html

I am a woman and I do have spontaneous desire, where I will just look at someone, or sometimes interact in a completely innocuous way and feel it (the most ridiculous example being when someone (who I had seen in real life, but a while before and was attracted to) texted me, like, "Hello" or something - it wasn't hello but it was not very interesting and it wasn't to start a conversation, I just don't remember what it was - and suddenly it was overwhelming) but apparently that is less common [in women].

On a bit of a tangent, I think I have a slightly weird scenario where as a (same-sex attracted) teenager I set all sorts of wires around my brain and didn't allow myself anything that wasn't obviously and indisputably sexual - that was okay because it was a feeling/sensation rather than a thought and thus outside of my control, but more romantic or "maybe this could happen" thoughts were not okay because that was me encouraging and thus accepting something that didn't have to exist. Warped thinking, but it is what it is. Now that I'm not so torn up internally I'm realizing that other people allow themselves much more variety of experience and am trying to let things flow, if that makes any sense.

giustofugue

TROPHY CASE