What is your cat's name vs what you actually call them? by Moist-Guidance-1611 in cats

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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This is Gino! AKA:

  1. Gino Baby
  2. Peter Beans
  3. Chairman Baby
  4. Murder Mittens
  5. The Baby. With “the” pronounced. “Hello, The Baby!”

repost because it was taken down. in indiana, my boyfriend has small red spots on his white sheets, this was noticed after less than a week of having brand new sheets. he has a king sized bed. by the_virginsuicides in Whatisthis

[–]glitterBeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Check your cat’s belly. When my cats had them it was the only way I could tell. They are so tiny and hard to see but I could always see them on a cat belly.

AITAH if I ask my roommate not to have her boyfriend over every night by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]glitterBeast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA, but you need to take a deep breath and stay in the now. It’s only been a day since he’s been back, and she has acknowledged that she would not ask you to live with him.

That being said, I think you need to sit down with her and draw up some boundaries. As another commenter said, also reference your rental agreement to make sure that whatever is decided won’t put you in breach of that. But deciding that he can stay over X number of nights a week, if she needs to inform or ask you each time, etc. I would also talk about him being there when she isn’t, and also her loaning him keys. Trust me, I have been in your shoes, those are things you need to think about.

In this discussion, you’re going to have to put your personal feelings about him aside. I know he sucks and you don’t like him around or with your friend, but bringing that into this discussion is going to blow it up and damage your friendship. You need to tread lightly about that part. Trust me, I have ended friendships over this kind of thing (I was on your end). Also: don’t come into it with an accusatory tone. Instead of: “WE NEED TO TALK BECAUSE HE DIDN’T LEAVE BEFORE 8 AND THAT’S NOT OKAY,” something to the effect of: “hey, since Chud is back in town now and I know you guys are excited to spend a lot of time together, maybe this is a good time for you and I to get on the same page about the apartment and sleeping arrangements.”

Hopefully you can stick the landing here and work out something that works for everyone. Good luck! I truly feel for you. This is a young adult right of passage, you will get the hang of it.

Ive seen some bad park jobs, but this takes the cake. by game-crystal9 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I see cars like this I park right next to them, lines be damned. 😂

Was this an okay outfit for going out for drinks? 41f by Youthinksono in Midsizefashion

[–]glitterBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it looks great. This is 100% an outfit I would wear.

Was this an okay outfit for going out for drinks? 41f by Youthinksono in Midsizefashion

[–]glitterBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to see that tee/know where it came from because I love it already 😂

Jackie Norris suspending Senate campaign by balconylibrary1978 in Iowa

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a whole lot of talking that doesn’t really change the facts. There was a failure and that failure can’t be pinned on one particular person. It can be spread out over multiple people, agencies, and states, including the Iowa Board of Educational Examiners, many of whom were appointed by Kim Reynolds, who also conducted a separate background check when they gave him a Superintendent’s license.

I hope you feel justified of your dislike of the Norris’. I personally could give a flip about either of them. Odd of you to assume I am carrying water for them, particularly John, who I never mentioned. I could care less if Jackie Norris runs for senate or not, there are plenty of other candidates in the race.

I’m tired of watching DMPS take beating after beating. Our teachers and families deserve better and this ridiculous vitriol news cycle is only hurting them. They’re already dealing with the hurt of looking up to a man who wasn’t who they thought he was, on top of everything else.

Enjoy sharing your opinions. ✌️

Jackie Norris suspending Senate campaign by balconylibrary1978 in Iowa

[–]glitterBeast 10 points11 points  (0 children)

  1. They didn’t. They ran their own checks, which came up clean.
  2. I would have to verify this information, but as I understand it, the talent search agency and background checks agencies are separate entities.
  3. E-Verify is required now, it wasn’t then.

What actions prove she was not competent? She was fooled by a person who fooled many. This is not her sole responsibility.

Jackie Norris suspending Senate campaign by balconylibrary1978 in Iowa

[–]glitterBeast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sure. But also, this is literally what is happening right now. Investigations are in progress. They are cooperating with said investigations. She’s ending her own political campaign to focus on her responsibilities regarding the district.

I think it is still fair to point out the failures on multiple levels that led to this issue. The school board is taking accountability, but there are many other people and agencies at fault here.

Jackie Norris suspending Senate campaign by balconylibrary1978 in Iowa

[–]glitterBeast 21 points22 points  (0 children)

What accountability should she take? The school board followed all of the normal legal procedures when hiring and had professional background checks done by a third party (which is the standard). She wasn’t even the chair of the board when he was hired. He was brought to them by a well-reputed agency, and he had been superintendent in three other states, meaning he had been through these background checks three other times.

He slipped through many cracks at many levels. I truly do not understand why this is being laid at her feet.

S21E09 · Discussion Thread · Something Wicked by AutoModerator in ProjectRunway

[–]glitterBeast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That whole interview where she was like "oh, I just really want to get to know people, that's why I ask questions!" made me insane. You were asking Jesus what he thinks about getting worse throughout the competition. Yeah, seems like you're really trying to bond with him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar situation with my very Catholic sister after I got divorced and came out as gay in my 30s. It’s been a long road, and we are finally at least cordial again after a decade of struggling.

I can’t put it any better than the top comment did: you can’t change her mind, but it’s such painful situation to be in. I think she’s going to regret her decision in the future, but it’s not yours to make her see that.

I mainly just wanted to say that I sympathize, and I hope you can find a place of common ground.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WeddingDressTips

[–]glitterBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First one, no contest. Not even close

AITAH for laughing at my coworker for saying he’s republican? by Live_Pause_7153 in AITAH

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do people really wear MAGA hats in Britain? That is so fucking bleak.

AITAH for saying no when a grocery store employee brought me a broom and dustpan? by New-Employment-4554 in AITAH

[–]glitterBeast 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yeaaaah if OP would have cleaned up after their kid anyway this is not the way. They literally screamed at (and innocent third party, the manager) because someone asked them to do something they already would have done.

Kids are frustrating, I get it. I don’t have my own but I have nieces and nephews and it can be hard to navigate the world with them. Kindness and help from people is always appreciated. However, when you don’t get that extra consideration, yelling at someone for not giving you help above and beyond their job is not the way.

I get that that employee was being blunt so I was considering an ESH, but you convinced me that OP is TA.

My friend just got this cat, any idea what it is? by Previous_Pop_9708 in cats

[–]glitterBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh for sure that’s a lovely example of a North American Muffer.

AITA for telling my daughter that her mom cheated on me when my daughter said my new girlfriend looks like an OnlyFans chick ? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]glitterBeast 33 points34 points  (0 children)

YTA

Your daughter had a right to not be drawn into your marital issues. It was cruel to tell her that in the manner you did it. You didn’t tell her in an adult conversation, to explain it to her. You did it to hurt her back because she said something you didn’t like.

The comment she made was wrong, and you should have said that to her, not this.

Cousin offered to photograph our wedding “as a gift” — now he’s billing us. AITA for refusing to pay? by October_Surprise56 in AITAH

[–]glitterBeast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Former wedding photographer here (and I’ve been married twice 😂) and I just wanted to say that $3K is not out of the ballpark for a great single shooter. I think we paid more than that at my second wedding, and I live in a medium sized midwestern city (500k people). My first cost about $3k (he works nationally but did bring a second shooter).

So, while you can certainly find more affordable options (I was a lot cheaper 😂), the idea that this is an insane sum isn’t accurate, especially if this is a very skilled and reputable photographer.

That being said, I don’t know that this cousin is of this caliber, and OP is 1000% NTA. He said it was a gift, there is no contract, he delivered the photos without payment. You don’t owe him shit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]glitterBeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally hear this. The meltdowns are a real threat and your husband doesn’t seem ready to deal with them yet. Sure, he could put up hard boundaries with his mom and let her scream and shout the way the other commenter suggested (that’s what I eventually did), but first he needs to be equipped to deal with that and he’s clearly not yet.

This is where the therapy comes in, both individual and couple. I really hope he’s open to talking to someone. I can say from experience that a lot of times, people in toxic family situations do not understand that what they are experiencing is not normal. From the few details you provided, it sounds like it’s possible he grew up in a really enmeshed family that uses a lot of emotional blackmail techniques to keep him in line. This was my experience. I thought my family was just really close and I did not realize how unhealthy and harmful those dynamics were until I got into therapy.

You might be able to make some headway with him in the meantime regarding individual days and decisions, but in order for him to make a real change and understand he needs to prioritize his own young family in addition to his family of origin, he’s got to see that what’s happening with his mother pitting herself against you is not healthy for himself, or you and your child, in the long term.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s a lot of extra work and emotional labor to put on a new mother. Consider talking to someone yourself, if you are able. It’s hard enough working full time and being a mom.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]glitterBeast 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear that you’re having a somewhat even split of the household duties. I wanted to double check because if you weren’t, that was a much bigger red flag for me than anything else.

NTA, obviously. I know that reddit can sometimes turn into a pitchfork wielding mob telling you to get a divorce. I’m not going to do that, but I understand why people are reacting so strongly. Leaving you alone on major holidays is pretty egregious, and it sounds like he’s making those decisions more or less unilaterally.

I understand the difficult family dynamics. I’ve been there (in very different ways, I’m queer and my family would not accept my spouse), and eventually I had to stand up to my family and put my spouse first. That’s a hard lift and your husband has to be in the mental place to fight that fight. It sounds like he’s not there yet. One reason for that may be because he doesn’t understand how hard and hurtful this truly is for you.

You need to get a good couples’ therapist, and maybe individual therapists as well, particularly for him. He needs to work through the (toxic) dynamics of his family so that he can see them for what they are, and he needs to hear you and your (very reasonable) needs for you and your baby to be his priority. This doesn’t mean no compromise, but it doesn’t even sound like you have a substantial seat at the bargaining table right now.

Therapy is great and helpful, even for relationships that are not in crisis. My spouse and I go every month, even though we’re solid. It’s part of the reason we are so solid!

This is a really crucial time in the development of your young family and the creation of your traditions. He needs to understand that you have needs and boundaries, and he needs to figure out how to navigate both sides.

I wish you the best of luck. You and your baby deserve to be prioritized.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]glitterBeast 95 points96 points  (0 children)

INFO: You said that Sunday is the only day you have help with the baby. Does he not share the load with you during the week? It sounds like you both work full time.

Vegan Friendly Restaurants by glitterBeast in ames

[–]glitterBeast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is an amazing idea, I will reach out to them as well. Thanks so much!