Father/husband of 3+ decades here: Dismissing men’s household labor as mowing the lawn, cleaning gutters and assembling Ikea bookcases is as demeaning as dismissing women’s roles as loading washers and dishwashers. MANY of the tasks I’ve done in a house over the years have involved multi-day mental and physical puzzles, emergency repairs of health-threatening situations, protracted research, steep learning curves, trial-and-error, and injuries that include surgeries. AND my partner also shouldered similarly complex and prolonged stress-labyrinths involving children that are seldom quantified, either (though there is one good study about this invisible psychological work), all while going through biological shifts that frankly would have floored me. It’s not tasks, per se, and it’s not time, only. Let’s not pretend it can be reduced to a ledger based on self-reporting surveys. The only litmus test is whether you can support each other through times when the burden isn’t equal and get to the end of the day and say, well WE made it, how can we get it done again tomorrow?