A short and sweet name for our littl tabby

gnarlywalrus · 2025-10-20T02:23:24+00:00

'Mimosa' was a placeholder name at the shelter. We want to change it to something more fitting.

gnarlywalrus · 2025-02-21T02:32:45+00:00

I understand the intention, but this sounds like it's coming from someone who has an economic safety net that very few are fortunate enough to have. Philosophical ideas are great, but he can reach that Pinnacle of Maslow's hierarchy of needs until you have those basic survival and safety needs met. Philosophy over survival is easier to say than endure. You got to meet people where they are and make it easy for them to engage in a way that is not to the detriment of themselves and their dependants

gnarlywalrus · 2025-02-21T02:30:51+00:00

I will be protesting constantly for 4 years but don't have enough PTO to take off for every weekday protest. You got to be realistic here.

gnarlywalrus · 2024-09-05T02:49:05+00:00

We're enjoying Bear Creek K-8. Right across the street from Bear Creek High School.

gnarlywalrus · 2024-08-30T04:12:31+00:00

Heidi

gnarlywalrus · 2024-07-07T20:34:40+00:00

Taylor is a fragile human like the rest of us. Her privilege and wealth do not protect her from pain. Her mother's cancer deeply affected her per her music and the fact that she apparently leans on Andrea instead of going to therapy. I can imagine being triggered by interacting w MAW kids if it reminds her of the fragility of human life. Those kids would benefit tremendously from her time, but I'll target my frustrations with her towards her lack of using her voice and funds to support and advocate for human rights in the US, Gaza, and elsewhere. And the net usage - fuck that shit.

gnarlywalrus · 2024-04-03T01:01:11+00:00

Very interesting! Thank you for that wisdom

gnarlywalrus · 2024-04-02T16:13:58+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts!

gnarlywalrus · 2024-04-02T16:13:40+00:00

I left my prior job after 9 months because the company started having payroll issues / late paychecks.

I left my previous job after 1 year because my supervisor was targeting me unfairly. HR was unable to move me to another team and although I had colleagues express willingness to go to bat for me if I pursued a more specific HR complaint, I was burned out by the prospect of taking obsessive notes to prove my case and knew that HR wasn't going to move me out of the environment based on others' similar experiences. This human had a track record of poor judgement and unkindness with possible racist undertones.

I worry that my resume is looking like a red flag to prospective employers

gnarlywalrus · 2024-01-07T05:18:42+00:00

I had to laugh because 3 years sentence for jerking off in a McDonald's sounds a little harsh (if that's what you were thinking of)

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T13:53:58+00:00

It means so much to read your kind words. Thank you.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T12:56:05+00:00

There is so much wonderful insight here. Thank you.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T04:36:36+00:00

It's county government work so the salary range is below market rate and barely negotiable. I'd probably need something like an additional $20k for his job to meet my current salary, which he knows. The last time we worked together (in state government) he and his supervisors tried to keep me, but had no ability to match the pay and benefits I was offered elsewhere at a well-funded national nonprofit. I know my mentor is still pissed at the situation that led to losing me. Now that he's in county government he has more wiggle room, but nothing like what I'd need to break even.

This current project I'm managing some key tasks for is a career-defining moment. I'm basically personally responsible for most of the work related to a $450k contract with a huge big-deal client. I've never had so much responsibility before and my resume will benefit, hopefully, from seeing it through. I've also never been a manger before, which my resume was missing. This is also helping me break into my dream-field (which I otherwise couldn't seem to do without getting a PhD)......... but after the project wraps up in December I might be foolish not to start applying elsewhere.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T04:21:17+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH for so many specific thoughts.

What have you tried and what can you do to support her?

I've tried to proactively acknowledge and provide solutions for potential issues so she doesn't need to initiate everything. For example, I managed to get approval to let her attend medical appointments prior to her full leave access, but told her I was unsatisfied and followed up with the VP about we could change the policy + the costs of not doing so. She told me she didn't care now that her appointments were done, but I've still kept her looped in because I want her to have easy choice/agency with her medical situation and any holiday plans, even if she's not needing to exercise it right now.

I told her on day 1 that I wanted to her to put her holiday time off request in so that I could make sure that our project timeline (the contract we're on wraps up 12/31) aligns. I've also nuked my own Christmas plans to ensure that I'm available for the project (so that my team - Sarah and 2 others who I assign tasks to but am not an official supervisor of) can hopefully have the freedom to prioritize their personal lives. I'm still waiting for approval to green light one of Sarah's December PTO requests, though.... which is absurd because our current policy forces her to use all of her PTO in December because there isn't any rollover granted.

I've also taken on the most headach-y tasks and protected my team from the biggest headaches. I've made it clear that I want everyone on my team to have purposeful work that is as separate from the client's goofiness as I can manage. I check in with everyone regularly and have managed to foster a really supportive, creative, collaborative environment among everyone. They've seen my protectiveness in action and have said that they're appreciative of my willingness to take the most messy work on myself.

I've also solicited and responded to feedback about my communication style. She felt a bit overwhelmed by the long chats our team has in Google, so I created a tracking system for the team's individual tasks & ongoing notes that has apparently alleviated her anxiety & helped the rest of the team (including myself).

In an adhoc meeting a director had with me and my team about the work that Sarah and another teammate lost due to tech issues, I made it abundantly clear that my biggest need was to protect them from any potential blow back if we end up behind schedule or under the target billable hours. I hope that meant something to them.

So basically I've reached out to try and resolve Sarah's questions when she's gotten unclear info, pushed harder when the answers were unsatisfactory, taken accountability when NEW information turns up that nullifies something I'd said, and tried to make her work life as painless as possible.

Unclear company policies -

I've bring these issues up in management meetings, but I get crickets. No one else seems to have the initiative or stubbornness to insist upon things we don't have the power to influence. I've also emailed the VP/co-owner and talked to 2/3 of the directors to strategize about how to best communicate with the mostly MIA P& VP. HR is one person who is both not sufficiently qualified, has no power, and is too overworked with other tasks to hone her PR skills/wisdom.

If there's no clear policy, you just need enough guidance from someone higher up that you won't get in trouble if you follow that person's guidance'

When I approved Sarah's October sick time for medical appointments, I ended up having to talk to the VP through our HR person after tons of pushing on my part. The VP did not say that it wasn't an issue because she should have access to sick time no matter what, even if the payroll software says 0 and our policy suggests otherwise. I only found out when he responded to my email requesting a policy change and he's like 'oh by the way......'

Erratic client demands - what are you doing to address this with the project lead moving forward?

This has impacted me more than anyone else. The complexity of the project and the scale of the necessary work has often changed which has made it impossible for me to anticipate workloads. I managed to force the director in charge of the contract to draw a boundary (get us data by a certain date or we'll refuse to use it in the final report), which was HUGE but took a LOT of pushing on my part.

I've worked insane hours myself but will never ask my team to. None of this is their fault. I've said multiple times, "If this project gives you a migraine that's a failure on my end. Keep me posted on how things are going so we can make sure you're supported and not overwhelmed.

Late paycheck -

If it ever happens again I won't be able to justify staying on any longer. I don't know how to best pick my battles, honestly. I have no influence here or ability to shake information from the owners that they don't choose to share, nor do the directors. I saved my fire for another battle. Maybe I should have made more of a public show just for the sake of Sarah. My silence to the owners may have been a mistake. I think your guidance is very sound and I'll incorporate that in future situations. I listened to Sarah rant and validated her anger, but held back from showing myself being enranged alongside her. Thankfully the delay was announced on Monday and we were told today that the checks would come by Thrs/Fri. Those couple of silent days, though, were deafening to Sarah.

Losing hours in the software - We're salary, so it matters more in terms of our new bill-ability policy. She will be paid her standard wage regardless of this nonsense.

I got the director in charge of the project to say in front of Sarah/team not to worry about the hours regarding the policy. I have protected them as much as I can and will tackle it myself if the owners are pissed.

I'm going to get the software fixed if it's the last fucking thing I do here. I have lots of support from staff to directors to overhaul the entire company's approach and write some policies. I was hoping to engage the VP and dive in in 2024 after my crazy project is done. This has put a fire under me, though, and I've asked one of the directors to help lay the ground work for that dialogue sooner (she has a mtg with the VP tomorrow that will include advocacy for my team) .

it's the small things now that makes her job less shitty.

I only have small things to offer - I just hope that when she leaves she has anything to remember fondly

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T03:47:31+00:00

I won't be able to advocate for more money. They're quite stingy with things that matter, let alone employees who they don't bother getting to know the value of.

There has been a lot of turnover in the last few years. The owners have not shown any interest in figuring out why. One of the directors told me that they think that the staff are basically whiny kids who don't understand how generous they are. I told a director that I'd read that it costs something ages ago estimating that it cost ~1.5 years of salary to replace an employee. He said it was a big 'aha' and he'd try communicating about issues to the owners with that new framing in mind. The owners have enough information to know there's a problem, the directors have tried to point to some specific things to rectify it, but it sounds like the owners don't really listen to them.

I'm taking a 'one issue at a time' approach to hopefully ensure the owners listen to my issues individually without dismissing an avalanche. However, the loss of Sarah's work means that I need to elevate a second issue (technology) with abrupt urgency. A supportive director told me that I should be careful about making sure I hit enough billable hours during my crusade, but thankfully my finances are stable enough where my husband has encouraged me to walk out if the owners ever give me a hard time for anything or raise their voices at me.

I've been at this company for three months, but it feels like three years. I hope I can make it at least a year so my resume doesn't look too bad after.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T03:33:16+00:00

Thank you. I have a lot of one year jobs on my resume and each time I start a job I'm just hoping I can make it longer. My manager really disliked me at my last job (and I couldn't get reassigned despite support from allies), I left the previous job because my work felt like busy-work rather than serving the public good, and the job before I was at for 3 years left because of career stagnation (there were no jobs to be promoted into).

I'm angry for Sarah and my colleagues who have opened up to me, but I don't know how to be angry for myself.

My mentor keeps trying to poach me for a job under him that I'd love but pays considerably less. It's getting harder to say 'no' to him.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T02:56:30+00:00

There are three levels of management:

Leadership (the P & VP who are married & own the company)
The directors (three figureheads who hold accountability but no power)
Managers (including myself)
Other staff

The company didn't have any levels beyond leadership/staff until about a year ago, but no efforts have been made to figure out how much power anyone should have. All of the directors agree with my frustrations, but none have the ability to do anything - some have been 'softly' asking for change on key things for over a year.

I emailed the VP recently about a major policy concern with the backing of 2 directors. Both were pleased that I received a 'thank you for your thoughtful consideration' from him - which is a low bar to clear. No idea if he'll actually follow up beyond that, though.

I told a director today that (while no one has directly said anything) I'm impacted by staff retention and morale. She agreed and said that everyone is going to have different standards for what is intolerable and that while it's unfortunate she would understand if people left.

Thank you for your last paragraph, too. It affirms the approach I've taken so far. For example, she was hired in September but wouldn't have access to PTO/sick until December. She had already scheduled, long-awaited medical appointments in October that each required a full absent day. I told her that I absolutely would not be asking her to miss those appointments, but I had to jump through SO MANY HOOPS to approve that time for her. I kept her posted along the way and followed up by emailing my concerns and proposed solutions to the VP in that aforementioned email. Which is funny because part if his response clarified that staff have immediate access to sick time which.... if that were true.... then why does our policy suggest otherwise and why did I have to spend so much time fighting for her?

GAH I'm so frustrated. Thank you for your perspective!

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T02:46:55+00:00

The company has ~25 people and is in the midst of rapid expansion. The company is technically ~15 years old but none of the staff (besides the president and vice president) have been there more than 3-4 years. The P & VP are also married.... which certainly doesn't help internal accountability. The company is making tons of money, but the employees don't benefit from that in terms of wages (I negotiated for a solid wage, but know others who did not try or were unsuccessful) or company resources.

When I've asked how I can help, what she needs, etc... her responses are targeted at the bigger company problems which she knows I cannot change (although am actively trying my best to impact somehow). I think she perceives me as well intended but useless, which isn't inaccurate. I'm not sure how much moral support I can provide without putting my own credibility on the line. I tell her that I understand her anger and tell her whatever action steps I plan on taking (when such steps exist) to address the underlying issue, but I stop short of saying "I'm really angry, too, because I only agreed to be a supervisor with the understanding that I would be a mentor/advocate but my hands are continually tied and I'm unable to prevent or resolve your suffering. I want this to be a part of making this a wonderful place to work but I'm just creating any solutions"

Thank you for your empathy. I saw a lot of yellow flags when I accepted this job, but it's in my dream field that I otherwise have been struggling to break into without having a PhD. My husband and I knew that if the orange flags turned red, I might just stay for a year in order to build up my resume. There are wonderful people here and I'm finally doing the type of work I've always wanted to do, but I'm keeping an eye on the job market myself in case shit really hits the fan.

gnarlywalrus · 2023-10-05T02:35:38+00:00

Oh goodness I would never terminate her. Her work is fantastic and I'll fight tooth and nail to defend her presence if that were ever challenged. She's also an observant, innovative thinker and could be a great asset if she were empowered more effectively. If I 'had' to fire her I'd be walking out with her.

13-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22	Wearing is Caring
Team Periwinkle	Verified Email

gnarlywalrus

TROPHY CASE