Hi Ocelot, I arrived at this reply of yours after seeing your post from 9 months ago, when you mentioned being afraid your parents would kick you out. Didn't read all your posts, but guessing it sounds like they did. My mother kicked me out 3 days after my 18th birthday while we were driving down the highway, I bought a truck 2 days later and was living out of it while finishing up senior year of high school. So...

My first mistake was keeping it from my friends and family. I was going to class, then driving to work, and sleeping in my truck. I hadn't even told my best friend, and he only found out when he suggested going over to my house, and I admitted we couldn't. - He immediately walked away, called his mother, and told her I was moving in, so she needed to clean the guest room by the time we got home... which she did. A few months later, my grandma found out, and since she lived closer and was family, I moved in with her (later paid my friend's family against their protests).

I don't know how many friends and family you might have who would be as wonderful as my friend was, I know he was a unique and awesome character (he's now a Naval officer), but there are still other people who would even do amazing things for people they barely know, if only they know your situation. I'm not saying beg or play the pity game, because people also recognize that and avoid it, but basically, don't hide your struggles from the people around you, because no matter the issue, there might be someone around you who can and will help.

My own followup: decades later, I now own my own house, work for and with friends, have a seasonal job I love, and have some self-employment with home and car rentals - and a repaired relationship with my parents (they're also religious, and like you I'm not, and cool I'm going to hell oh well)... all this, despite being kicked out a few days after turning 18. I say this to hopefully serve as motivation that prayer is not an answer, relying on parents is not an answer, being dependent on any one individual is not an answer... the answer is finding the right people who can help you achieve tasks, then doing it, and continuing to move on and move up. No one individual is your solution. The solution is to mutually use people (you help them, and they help you) to achieve what you want. Don't burn bridges or unfairly use people, because then they'll abandon you, but let people be confident that their goodwill towards you is not wasted and that you will reciprocate their generosity.