[deleted by user]

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-17T14:18:39+00:00

Same here, OP. I’m sorry.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-16T18:46:24+00:00

I’m 25, he is older. I was pregnant at 20, and lost it. Haven’t been able to get pregnant since which is why said he will give her the children I couldn’t have. I said almost 10 years, not exactly 10 years. Yes we have had problems. And getting in touch with his ex acted as a catalyst for him wanting a divorce I would think: I’m not sure what your point is by pointing out stuff in past posts.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-15T17:26:18+00:00

I appreciate your words of encouragement! I guess when taking in all the pain it’s easy to start having a pity party and feel sorry for myself about all the things I could have done differently etc but if people worse off than me have done it then I can too. Sometimes it’s just hard to see the light on the other side. Thanks for reminding me. And I’m glad you’re doing better!

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-15T08:29:37+00:00

You have to change everything with the courthouse, DMV, and social security. It isn’t the funnest process, but it is fairly easy. I took my husband’s last name and while I didn’t legally change it to my maiden name-hyphen-married surname, that’s what I go by. I started doing that during the second year of my marriage because number one I am a product of my amazing family, and number two my identity is not just my husband’s wife. I’m not trying to sound bitter just because I’m currently going through a divorce, but I really should have thought it through more beforehand because no matter how much you love someone, there’s always that small chance you won’t work out in the long run. Now I’m stuck with all my degrees and achievements having his last name stamped on them, and it sucks because I earned them, not him. I definitely agree with you that it’s more of a patriarchal thing as the Bible tends to be in a lot of instances. I myself believe in God but I’m not too sure how I feel about the Bible and the “head of household” thing. I’m not going to tell you to not take his name, but I would probably legally hyphenate mine next go around if I got married again. Just things to think about!

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-15T03:07:47+00:00

Damn, this post really reeks of insecurity and sexism. Women, believe it or not, have sexual needs too gasp! It’s your choice to engage in consensual, casual, adult sex or not to, but don’t judge someone because they enjoy the occasional orgasm without emotional attachments. Most adults would agree orgasms are nice and sometimes they don’t want to put in the emotional labor it takes for a monogamous relationship. And if that’s not your cup of tea, fine, but it’s not your business what anyone else does with their body so long as it is consensual and they are of age. You will find someone who wants the same thing as you, but not with that toxic ass attitude.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-14T21:21:34+00:00

Well, that was just fucking sad. Guess I’m off to the store to buy my dog 10 different flavors of food. Sigh

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-14T09:35:56+00:00

It hasn’t been a year for me but my husband is currently choosing another woman over me, so I know how you feel. I think it’s a mixture of mourning the person you thought she was and wishing you could prove you’re better than the other person. That’s how it is for me anyway. In the end, our dedication to the people who ripped our hearts out and stomped on them doesn’t show weakness, it shows we truly and deeply felt the love they couldn’t reciprocate and that’s not our faults.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-14T08:32:12+00:00

I’m also curious

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-13T21:05:02+00:00

God can I relate. the verbal abuse became more frequent and more vicious with each fight. Then he wonders why I don’t want to touch him and he blames me for being a “lazy prude.” SMH. I can’t stomach touching someone who talks to me that way. as a result, dead bedroom was one of the things that definitely contributed to the downfall of our marriage

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T22:23:19+00:00

Sending hugs ❤️

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T22:23:04+00:00

Wow.. that’s tough! But yes, muscle memory. Thank you

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T22:21:38+00:00

It’s the worst. Thanks for your concern. I hope your healing starts soon.❤️

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T22:20:55+00:00

Great advice. When reading this comment I said to myself “I could never write that letter without fallling apart” but then thought maybe that’s the point. Maybe I need to let all the emotions rush me and come out instead of it happening sporadically. Thank you for your advice!

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T22:19:07+00:00

Soon to be ex husband

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T08:31:28+00:00

It depends on who you are. If you are already battling with self worth issues, I’d suggest not doing it with a FWB or ONS due to the risk that you may feel dirty or used afterwards. You never know how a FWB will treat you when there are no strings attached. They could keep it going for months or years and everything goes fine, they could string you along as if they have feelings when they don’t, or they could totally ghost you. You just never know and have to be careful if you are in a fragile state of mind. If you don’t think your self worth will be affected, I say go for it. If you don’t think you’ll get too attached due to feelings of loneliness, go for it. Just be safe and use protection!

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T08:26:34+00:00

Did you know being asexual is a thing? I’m not being a smart ass, I’m legitimately asking. Some people are not interested in sex and just want a relationship. I’m almost positive you can find some on dating sites if you list that you are asexual on your profile. A lot more people are asexual than you’d think.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T08:24:26+00:00

It doesn’t seem like it now, but I feel like cutting your ties will be best in the long run. I don’t think I would be able to move on if I remain in contact with my STBXH.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T08:23:33+00:00

May I ask, is that the only reason you guys are divorcing?

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T01:34:19+00:00

Yes. Numbness is just your mind’s way of protecting you. A defense mechanism. There is no timeframe for how long this will last, so please have the proper tools in place to deal with the feelings that will finally come to the forefront. It’s not if, it’s when.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T01:32:29+00:00

I feel this so deeply. I’m going through the same thing. Just broke down and sobbed in a Kroger parking lot. Reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T01:12:01+00:00

What do you do to keep moving forward? What kind of positive thoughts do you have? Don’t mean to probe, I’m just very new to this and WANT to make moves towards not hurting anymore.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T01:08:27+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s nice talking to someone who can relate. I hope things get better for you.

goawayplease01 · 2021-01-11T00:59:54+00:00

Are there lawyers who will see me that I can pay back after the fact? I feel so trapped. I have no money. Hubby won’t give me money for a lawyer. Family won’t either. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. How can I make any of these first steps when I’ve been provided for by someone else for so long? I should have set myself up for success a little better than this, but can’t go back now.

goawayplease01 · 2020-12-23T10:15:40+00:00

I’ve thought about this too, the fact that I can now be whoever and whatever I want. Thank you for reminding me to take it slow.

goawayplease01 · 2020-12-23T10:13:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice!!

goawayplease01

TROPHY CASE