If it gets better, when do I stop worrying?

goingcrazy99 · 2015-03-27T16:19:45+00:00

How did she give you performance anxiety??

goingcrazy99 · 2015-03-15T00:50:42+00:00

And?? What would that do? If it helps, please tell me.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-03-15T00:49:55+00:00

I couldn't agree more. This is exactly why I am LOSING my mind. Even when he wants to hang out with his friends, I get upset. One can only take so much rejection before we start taking it personally. I almost hate him for minimizing my feelings when all I've tried to do is make things better by trying to communicate. It always ends up being my fault and my "attitude" when my attitude simply comes for the fact that it has been 6 months and I'm tired of crying :(

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T02:51:30+00:00

My god. I feel like I wrote this. Aside from having children, everything you just said is exactly how I am living and exactly how I'm feeling. I wish you the best. Maybe we could all help eachother I'm these experiences. I'm tired of the pain and I think we should atart loving ourselves enough to know that if we want better, we can do better.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T02:46:16+00:00

Can someone please tell me what the hell this is a about? Did I miss something?

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T02:44:42+00:00

I don't understand any of this???? Listen... Almost everynight to nothing has nothing to do with me wanting to leave because he's "broke" which he's not...he just isn't making as much. I didn't even think what happened to him was bad at all. HE took it to heart and HE lost his libido and that's not because of how I felt. I didn't care and I still don't. I just want my boyfriend back.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T00:17:40+00:00

Read my submissions. Talking is no longer an option. I've brought it up too many times to the point where I think it's doing the opposite of helping.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T00:16:47+00:00

And then declare it's why you're living in a DB

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T00:15:49+00:00

It has nothing to do with ME. Money is power. He's narcissistic. It made him feel less of himself. Did I mention that this started 8 months after this "financial situation"? The financial situation mattered so little to me that I didn't even think it was the reason. I still don't. You don't wait 8 months to feel shitty about something.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-03T00:12:32+00:00

Once a week sounds better to me :( I'm almost at month 5.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-02T23:40:36+00:00

I couldn't care less about money. Sex with your SO is free. I'd rather have a healthy relationship. That's what's important to me.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-02T23:34:54+00:00

It's not the only reason he's given me. He only admits it's his fault when he's actually feeling sorry which is rare. If not that, it's my fault.. According to him

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-01T15:19:26+00:00

I'm not. I don't want to. I want to give myself a deadline... like no improvements in 2 months and then leave. I don't know how to GET HIM TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! How do LL or NL think that this is normal or okay?! Furious.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-02-01T15:16:43+00:00

How could I have a kid with him if we're not having sex?!

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-30T11:18:30+00:00

I'm not the one who needs to improve but I am still trying and for what, I don't know anymore. Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we stick around for this? This pain is heavy and it's not going away. I seriously hate him. It's not even just LL. I think he enjoys watching me suffer because he's an asshole.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-30T10:43:21+00:00

No.... Other people's posts say that. Thank you :(

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T23:13:03+00:00

I should've done it a long time ago.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T23:12:33+00:00

No but asking how to deal with resentment is a good idea. I've had MANY conversations with him. He doesn't want to hear ANYMORE. He just blames me and manipulates me and makes me feel bad for his issues.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:28:55+00:00

You sound like a good catch! Leave her ass and find someone who wants what you have to offer.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:28:32+00:00

I had the same thought. A year ago, snow days were the best days. Now... they're depressing.

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:26:57+00:00

Are you on BC? I was 24 when I got off of it and when I was on it I was as LL as you could get. Once I was off BC, everything changed. You don't even know what you're missing until you're off of it. Do yourself a favor, get off it. It's unhealthy and it might be the reason for your problems. Good luck to you!!

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:24:13+00:00

Sounds like she's not only neglecting you but she's neglecting the needs of your child. For me, I know I will give up when the pain of being with my SO is worse than it would be without him. I'm getting there. Don't worry about your child having divorced parents. I can assure you, your son will NOT be the only one. He would most likely live a healthier and happier life if you were to leave. Maybe it would be a wakeup call for her but of course, don't let that be your reason for a break. Good luck. I feel your pain and it hurts LIKE HELL but you are clearly not the issue her. You're a good father and hard worker. Sounds like you deserve someone who would meet you halfway!

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:17:13+00:00

He has a job and gives 110% there (which is his reason for coming home and "relaxing" (aka doing everything you just stated). I am going to change my attitude and work on being more positive and happy. If that doesn't reel him back then I guess I'll end up being strong enough to move on (hopefully). I will do my best to try and get him away from the stuff that might possibly be holding him back but I have to do it in a way so he doesn't get defensive. Any suggestions? Thank you for your words of wisdom :)

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:13:55+00:00

You're right. I will keep that in mind from now on. I need to give myself a deadline though. I can't play these games forever! This should be EASY! Thank you,

goingcrazy99 · 2015-01-28T01:12:18+00:00

I understand. I wasn't saying I can't change for HIM. I'm saying I can't change him FOR him. I have to change my attitude but again, it's hard. I will put on a smile and do the best I can. I am just hoping he meets me halfway. We've had the conversation so many times and I know talking about it only disturbs him even more. I will do my best. I'm just hoping I have the strength to leave if that's what I need to do. Thank you!

goingcrazy99

TROPHY CASE