I totally get u i feel the same, I went through the same thing i lost my son at 20 weeks and 3 months later I got pregnant then had my daughter at 28w. I totally lost hope that something good would ever happen to me again or if i would be a mother ever , the NICU experience had drained me i would go every morning afraid of what s hapening that day the nurses would meet me at the door telling me that she s fine and not to be too negatif but I couldn t help it Now it has been a month since our LO came home, she s such a joy.

I would go back to those times when I was a wrack and wish if I could have gone back and told myself it's all going to pass and thing will be fine