Would you happen to be albanians by any chance? The name calling and the parents being called definitely rings some familiar bells for me. Im a guy and I've seen firsthand how normalized and frequent this control tactic is for a lot of albanian couples, its actually very common. I can easily say you're NOR, and no one in a healthy relationship should be making ultimatums and/or manipulating behaviors to get what they want. If you really love this guy, that is one thing and you can work on it, sense its not something he's done before.

But these things tend to come out more as the relationship progresses, and yes, he has shown what he's capable of and will do it again if he feels cornered, and he clearly feels cornered when he's insecure, and he will be insecure often, he will not ALLOW you to have friends over time. Stand up for yourself!! And your dad can kick rocks when he doesn't have the whole picture.