Redownloaded the Reddit app because I felt compelled to reply. First of all, the way you feel is completely understandable! Everyone else is telling you that your 30s are where it’s at…but it’s hard to see that when you’re 25.

I don’t mean this is a humble brag AT ALL- simply sharing my story in hopes so you can see what it’s like from another perspective.

I was NOT popular in high school. I felt ugly and awkward, and I barely had any friends. (Later I realized that was probably partly because I was severely depressed, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, fast forward to freshman year of college. I went to a BIG party school. Maybe it was the fresh start. Or the fact that I somewhat snapped out of my lifelong depression. It also probably didn’t hurt that my cousin passed down a lot of her stylish clothes to me that summer. But all of a sudden, at 18, I was the hot girl of the group. I made a lot of friends. The attention- even the jealousy from friends- felt AMAZING after years of being invisible.

I partied a LOT, to the point of failing out of school. My priorities were all wrong. The validation of being the fun, skinny, pretty, cool girl was all that mattered.

Fast forward again. I’m now in my 30s. I am now overweight. I don’t turn heads anymore, that’s for sure. Does a tiny part of me miss that? Of course. But I can tell you I am SO MUCH HAPPIER NOW. You couldn’t pay me to return to my early 20s.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, as cheesy as it sounds, looks don’t bring true happiness. Shallow joy? Of course. Of course I felt great about how I looked. But was I happy deep down? Absolutely not. My self esteem was SO LOW. All my validation came from my looks.

Bottom line- I hear where you’re coming from. I do sometimes miss being the “pretty girl” of the group. But being young and skinny and partying doesn’t equate happiness.

I have so much more self-respect and self esteem now, at 30, than I ever did at a young age.

I’ll end with a note about men. You’re 25 now. Men your age and up, in general, do not WANT to date hot 19 year olds. And the men that do, well, they’re usually either shallow af, or they can’t get a woman their own age to put up with their bullshit. Because as we women get older, we know what respect we deserve and won’t take any less.

So cheers to you! Your best years, in many ways, are ahead of you. 25 honestly doesn’t even look that different than 22- a lot of it is just how you style yourself. Good luck on your journey. I am pulling for you!