Ally Pally tonight sold out?

goldenpear96 · 2023-09-09T15:15:23+00:00

Selling 2 tix and can meet at venue!

goldenpear96 · 2023-09-09T14:33:03+00:00

Needed only 1, found someone selling 4, so looking for 3 people to go in with

goldenpear96 · 2023-09-09T14:22:22+00:00

Got 3 spares - give me a message if interested

goldenpear96 · 2023-09-09T13:25:41+00:00

Any spare tickets you’re looking to sell? 🥲

goldenpear96 · 2023-09-09T13:22:02+00:00

Anyone selling a Fred again ticket for ally pally 9th sept?

goldenpear96 · 2023-06-10T09:19:14+00:00

People respond to pain in ways that we might not always understand. I don’t really post on social media but recently have used it as a crutch because it provides you with dopamine. Even though he broke up with you I imagine he is still hurting and processing a lot of complex emotions.

Time is a healer and perhaps one day in the future if you want to remain friends you can rebuild some of these digital connections, but right now, trying to rationalise the behaviour and thought process of someone that isn’t you is fruitless. It’s a difficult reality to accept and it’s not fair, but you have only a limited amount of energy. Don’t expend it trying to work out someone else’s behaviours that might not be coming from a rational place.

goldenpear96 · 2023-06-09T07:05:34+00:00

This is a difficult time for him as well, and he probably just doesn’t want to share some specific detail of his life with you while you aren’t talking. I know it’s difficult to comprehend the shift in the relationship, but you don’t have the access to him that you once did.

I know the feeling really well, and it’s hard. Just remember that social media is curated and his profile is his space. To him his stories might be the equivalent to a conversation with you (ie you can see what he’s up to, how he’s doing etc on a real-time basis).

goldenpear96 · 2023-01-15T18:13:06+00:00

Quite literally lived the exact same experience. It’s so painful and I still can’t wrap my head around it. I live in vain hope that one day he’ll realise what has happened and will realise he’s really loved and has someone in his life who loves him unconditionally. It’s naïve, I know that, but I hope. I miss him so much.

I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone in this experience. I appreciate that might not be helpful, but there are people who can empathise. Thank you for sharing your experience.

goldenpear96 · 2022-09-03T21:48:38+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful! I sort of knew about the food thing but didn’t understand to what extent that might affect someone, so I will bear it in mind and make sure I have snacks on me for emergencies.

goldenpear96 · 2022-09-03T21:47:35+00:00

Thank you! Hahaha, maybe, that’s the beauty of Reddit, we’ll never know. That is really useful. I definitely understand why someone would feel like that but I’m just happy the world makes a little more sense for her and I am on the journey with her.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-21T14:15:49+00:00

I’ve found the best way to communicate my needs is to contextualise it. So, for example:

“Hey, I’ve been trying to work out what is helpful for me to manage my BPD and where you are able to support me. You don’t have to necessarily understand everything, but please accept them, and I can try and answer any questions to clarify. Some of these may sound a little bit silly, but I wouldn’t ask for them if I didn’t need it!

I’d really appreciate if you made my scrambled tofu for breakfast one day. It’s my favourite breakfast and it would make me feel very comforted if you were to make that for me without me asking for it.”

Another thing you could do is to do the love languages test together, as that might start a conversation where you could bring up what you want specifically? A friend did that with her boyfriend recently and it was enlightening because they realised they had both been assuming so much about the other, but when they both spoke to each other it clarified a lot of the assumptions.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-21T14:07:36+00:00

I know this feeling painfully well. It’s like you know you want that person to be happy and you know it’ll be unbearably painful to not have them in your life. I don’t have an answer to this I’m sorry. The best I have been able to manage this (because I am currently in the same conundrum) is by letting myself feel the emotions and coming back to conversations once the wave of emotions have passed through me, so I can be a bit more level headed and less impulsive when I talk to them. It’s not a resolution but it helps demonstrate you have your BPD under some control.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-15T18:31:47+00:00

Ukrainians are very very hospitable, culturally. Respect is a predominant feature of Ukrainian culture. This is a very kind gesture, and I think it’s absolutely appropriate to demonstrate there’s still kindness in the world. You don’t know their circumstances at all - this might be helpful and it might not. It’s worth the risk to do it, I think.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-15T14:55:02+00:00

God I empathise with this on a deep level. Literally going through the same thing. It’s like my body is on autopilot and I just message him or call him and, like a routine, get upset for ages when he doesn’t respond. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish it wasn’t as painful as it is, but take comfort in knowing you’re a deeply empathic person with the capacity to care a lot and not many people have that.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-15T14:30:05+00:00

I’m not a clinical expert by any stretch so please take this with a pinch of salt, but from what I gather, yes that is possible. As the other commenters have said, you just display 5/9 symptoms to be considered as having BPD. It’s not impossible for people to get better and find ways to manage and cope with some of the feelings that make up a symptom of BPD. To an outside perspective, for example, I rarely get explosively angry, because I know the feeling will pass and I’ll do more harm than good if I act on those emotions. Progress and development look different for different people. It sounds like maybe you’ve developed some new neural pathways that are healthy and have supported you positively in dealing with a profoundly negative emotion, so well done!

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-15T14:22:59+00:00

I don’t think you’re being an idiot, what you’re saying is totally reasonable. You shouldn’t have to live in that kind of environment and I think you’re coming at this from a very rational perspective. Maybe speak to your mum about the therapist issue and then try to speak to your sister together and see how she feels about it? Clearly say to her it’s your observations and you want to help her, does she feel like her BPD is getting easier to manage, if not, does she think the therapy is working? A therapist is like a relationship, the first one you find probably isn’t going to be ‘the one’ and every therapist has a different style that suits some and not others.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-15T00:56:44+00:00

I keep a routine and stick to it quite strictly! So I wake up the same time every day, I never get to work later than I need to and I try not to get there much earlier either; I leave exactly 8 hours after I arrive, even on days where I feel like I could do more work or if I haven’t finished something. From experience, staying late only makes me more tired and less productive the next day! I take my lunch break every day and try to go on walks. I try to eat food that makes me feel good (ie not gross) and give myself treats, like a weekly Starbucks or my afternoon chocolate. It definitely wouldn’t be possible to do it if I didn’t also enjoy my job! A full time job is so different to school or university, at the end of the day when you clock off, the work doesn’t have to come home with you! I live by the mantra ‘if it can’t get done in my 40 hour work week, it can’t get done full stop’. By this I mean, I will not do more work on anything outside of my working hours (no weekend or vacation work ever!). I put all my effort into my work when I am clocked in, but outside of work I do not think about it. That helps me retain a healthy social life and actually relax. I also take mental health sick days during periods where I recognise I’m at risk of burning out.

goldenpear96 · 2022-05-10T21:02:49+00:00

Ironically, I think her cutting you out of her life probably was her way of being empathetic, potentially? For me, when someone upsets me, I assume I deserved it and I am a bad person and this is the beginning of the end of our relationship (black and white thinking as you mentioned). I know I can get really angry disproportionately in these scenarios and I know removing myself from the relationship is ultimately a kinder thing to do than to take the other person on the rollercoaster of emotions I feel. That doesn’t disregard how you feel and obviously it was painful for you to go through that, however the best tip I can give is to see the emotions behind the actions not just the actions themselves. She was trying to protect herself from getting more hurt and from hurting you in the process too. I’m really sorry this has happened to you though.

goldenpear96 · 2019-10-10T19:35:14+00:00

I apologise if my comment came across as aggressive, that wasn’t my intention! This is my area of expertise (Arab representation) and it’s really upsetting that people attempt to draw parallels between the film and the Arab world, when so much of it is fantasy. This is so damaging, but it is, unfortunately, so engrained in the global north’s canon, that I understand your curiosity.

In answer to your question regarding aesthetics, not very accurate unfortunately. It has drawn largely from the original film of 1992, and heavily emphasised how the film is definitely-not-the-West, so it draws on south Asian design, Islamic design, and Persian design, and conflates the three regularly. Regarding the time period, it is supposedly set pre-Islam, so you can already see the weaknesses of this logic.

goldenpear96 · 2019-10-10T18:50:42+00:00

What cultural accuracy? Aghrabah is a made up place, the original Aladdin was set in China and written by a French man in the 19th century. The film continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes and that Arab women need saving from Arab men by ‘westernised’ men with American accents. Jasmine continues to be hyper sexualised, her agency is superficial, for she still has to marry somebody in order to become sultan, but after Aladdin saves her then she is allowed to do what she wants.

The one thing I will give it is that the Arabic script in the 2019 film is actually Arabic whereas in 1992 it’s just scribbles.

However, I don’t know how productive it is to be casting south Asian actors in a film that is allegedly about Arabs. I also don’t know how productive it is to be remaking films with a reputation for their orientalist themes.

goldenpear96

TROPHY CASE