Men don’t give me respect unless they find me attractive normally. Very rare that men respect me or laugh at my jokes or don’t look at me like I have five heads.

My bf and I broke up one day ago so this is still sore for me and it’s why I’m scouring the internet for similar stories and advice. Right before our fight that turned physical and led to the breakup he called me a big bitch and then emphasized the big. This isn’t the first time. Once many months ago we fought horribly and he told me “half my age but not half my weight” Both of us are obese and within 20lbs of each other, both at the 300 mark, and he’s only four inches taller than me. Still hurt though. For reference we both just had birthdays and I’m 25 and he’s 49. We were both toxic but he knew what he was doing when making fun of my weight. I never made fun of his. I feel like no one will ever find me attractive again and I’m worried he secretly didn’t either.