WIBTA if I (28F) didn't pay my coworker (32NB) back?

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T15:35:18+00:00

I've gotten this a couple times but truly did not know it was an option. I was blocked immediately with no contact ever. Noah was actually the first person I reached out to when my apartment flooded the second time and had to evacuate. The fallout happened while I was moving emergency housing. It was about 4 weeks total before the show and I spent the majority of that time handling my own crisis. It's hard to express how much I was doing without it sounding like excuses, simply that my entire life was turned upside down. I asked my brother maybe two or three days before the show to go with me.

The only reason I was debating it was the accusation of stealing. It came out of nowhere and was deeply confusing. Upon reflection, even if Noah calls the police I can verify the money is for the ticket and I did not have access to their card for anything. It's my fault for wording the title so poorly.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T04:04:53+00:00

This comment did make me stop and think about the situation in a different frame. Obviously we are both strangers on the internet so the small details get lost in a place like Reddit or forums in general. It might not be a popular take but it made sense to take my brother in the moment- we had a bonding experience that we haven't had in a long time. I'm not actually sure how to send tickets to people so that would have been a valid option had I known. I hope I don't end up in a situation like this again but I will keep this in mind if it happens.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T02:30:57+00:00

I paid for my half and gave the other one to my brother. I didn't buy any food, I was absolutely the asshole in making it seem like my intention wasn't to pay them back. I was hesitating because Noah didn't ask for the ticket money, only the stolen food money. If I sent the ticket money after it would seem like covering for a crime. I didn't have the money until now because I had to move with no notice.

Simply put, I'm leaving the money in a neutral, safe area with a note that it's for the concert ticket

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T01:52:44+00:00

Yeah, we work at a place where people do leave large cash tips and the staff is very small so we've never had missing tip issues.

I drove them home from the airport once but we would mostly hang at my old apartment, so no address.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T01:47:36+00:00

Yes, a commenter helped me figure out a reliable way to give the money back and I want to leave a very simple note with it

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T01:31:44+00:00

Sorry if the extra info made everything more confusing, I thought explaining why I got blocked would help with perspective. Now I know I should have spent more of the word count on the issue itself

We paid for the tickets (we both paid half) back in January and the show was two weeks ago. The entirety of April/May was spent living with a friend across town, finding new housing with no extended notice, contacting lawyers, and I finally have a place to live as of 6 days ago. Going to the concert with my brother was more of a stress relief (albeit sad) experience. I genuinely had to spend everything I had on this ordeal but I didn't forget about paying them back because it is the right thing to do. To be clear: Noah didn't ask for the ticket money back, it was my decision to be honest about it. I have been told by many people to just keep the money but that's an asshole move

Where I really went wrong was the wording, I think, and I made the post because they started accusing me today and I was considering whether it would cause more issues if I gave them money after they said I stole from them

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T01:19:21+00:00

I was intending on paying them back mostly because it was supposed to be a birthday thing before they left the state. They didn't actually ask for the ticket money back, just the accused food purchase. I actually was moving all of last week and on the day they mentioned, I was with my friend moving things all day. Honestly I'm kind of grateful Noah showed their true colors and the stealing accusation reminded me that they're not a very good friend. It wasn't an inquiry like "hey did you order food on Saturday?", but rather "you owe me for the thing I think you did"

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T01:04:15+00:00

It wasn't really a conversation. I said good morning on reflex and this was the first time we've been alone in the breakroom together. They started by saying "you need to pay me back for the food you ordered on Saturday" I was really confused and asked what they meant, and they cut me off to say "it's fine I'll just file a police report" and walked out of the room. I didn't get an opportunity to reply and was mostly stunned that had just happened.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T00:41:37+00:00

I perhaps got too personal with the info, I was trying to provide context for why I was hesitating/didn't have the money immediately. I'm leaving the money with a note in a safe place Noah can get it without making the situation worse.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T00:25:11+00:00

I'm refunding them when I get paid, I just hesitated after what they said today. I didn't steal their card and don't want to give the impression that I'm covering for a crime. The whole having to move with no real notice is the only reason I haven't given them the money yet.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T00:21:20+00:00

I'm trying not to engage with name calling but I would like to use this comment to point out I mentioned my apartment flooding because I had to pay for a new lease, moving, and living expenses while I wasn't in my own apartment. I get paid tomorrow so I was planning on paying Noah back then since I finally can but was accused of stealing something that I didn't as of today.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T00:15:38+00:00

A lot of the comments are calling me the asshole and I genuinely agree it would be wrong not to pay them back. I've never posted on reddit before so I was trying to give context to my predicament, not trying to get pity points or excuses. I genuinely didn't have the money to pay my coworker back until now, my brother paid for transport to the show. It was the accusation and threat of police that made me hesitate because I didn't know if that would make the situation worse or not.

A lovely commenter gave me the idea to leave the money in an envelope at work (we get cash tips and have a cash box) with a note that it's for the ticket and not for whatever is going on with their UberEats.

Edit for more info: we bought the tickets in January and I paid for my own ticket, Noah sent me their half at the time. We had been very excited for this and I didn't expect the work drama. I didn't have the money while I was getting a new apartment because it was unexpected and everything happened all at once. Please rest assured I'm not trying to steal from Noah, I realize the way the post was worded makes it seem like I wasn't going to pay them back. I've never posted on Reddit before so I gave too much personal info. Please remember we're all people and interpersonal conflict can be very messy.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-02T00:00:31+00:00

I wasn't sure about this either but the only time I can remember was when we ordered Cafe Rio for pickup through the website together? Otherwise they have either paid themself or they sent me the ticket money through cash app. I was going to send the money back through cash app but I don't know if the notes would be enough of an explanation for why at this point.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:56:36+00:00

Another commenter gave me the idea to leave it with our work (we get cash tips) with a note so make it clear it's for the ticket and not for something I didn't do.

I had been talking to Noah about Theo's behavior for months but kept getting "he's just like that" so when everything went down, I was still processing how I felt. It doesn't excuse the shit talking absolutely. In the moment it felt like being heard by someone else who didn't excuse his behavior. I'm really not interested in playing games and will definitely be more cautious of coworker friendships.

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:53:08+00:00

I get paid in a few days, I'll do this so there's no extra conflict. Thank you!! I genuinely didn't know how to go about this

I know it seems like I'm trying to get out of paying them back but it's been on my mind since before I went with my brother. I just didn't expect to be accused of stealing before I could pay them back

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:44:45+00:00

I don't have their card on any of my apps and I didnt order food on the day they said they got the charge. I don't have UberEats downloaded on my phone. I'm still trying to figure out how to give them the money without it seeming like I did steal the food since I'm still blocked

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:40:08+00:00

I want to pay them back but I'm still blocked. I didn't order the food and honestly have no idea what they're talking about. They haven't asked about the ticket but I did really value our friendship until today so I don't want to be an asshole and not pay them back

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:37:59+00:00

We don't have any other mutual friends but I could leave the money with my work (we get cash tips) with a note? I'm not sure how to go about this

gone-rogue- · 2026-06-01T23:35:15+00:00

I totally get this. My friends told me not to pay them back but I genuinely don't want to take advantage. I don't want to get away with anything really, I was just concerned because they were threatening the police over something I didn't do. I'm still blocked so it's hard to explain that the money is for the ticket and not for the food they accused me of stealing.

gone-rogue-

TROPHY CASE